Is english even your first language? Of course we're all speaking english here, but this is the internet - so there's no way to tell. It kind of got me thinking when occasionally Vincent (Magic Fantastic) writes in French, and that's actually his first language. I remember a while ago we had a guy from Romania on this site and his english wasn't very good - but it drew my attention because he tried to express familiar feelings and problems in English, a language that wasn't his own.
Thought I'd let you guys know.
Just another follow up in six weeks. That test will be 'conclusive'. But my odds are pretty good now.
Partei bei mein Haus! Bringen Sie alle deiner Freunden bitte!
Fail German... might post another journal later about what I've been up to - but for now such a relief!
Had my blood taken today. For the Six week HIV test.
They'll give me a call tomorrow or next week to tell me the result.
I didn't want to write about it. I don't really write entries anymore. Neither is it the only thing happening in my life. But fuck I am so worried right now - again. So fucking worried. I keep thinking about the related symptoms I have and working out the probabilities - it's a bloody game of numbers.
It's not like I didn't know. In fact I found it amusing. More so I felt a little bit of satisfaction. I knew he wanted me still. I saw the way you tried to dance closer and closer last night. I heard what you said to my friends. I could sense how you craved my attention. I felt your disappointment as I danced with the boy next to me. And you deserved every single bit of it. I will treat you like filth and you should stop coming back. You should see it by now.
Do not ask me for charity. Go away until your bones are clean.
Not even a full day after a week of seeing people and I'm already bored as hell.
I want to party and drink my head off.
Summer school better start soon.
First, Why does Keira Knightley spread her legs like a spider when caught having sex in Atonement?
Also, fantasitic news, Auckland University approved me for second year law. The admission rate of first year law students is less than 20%. Bringen Sie mir eine Flasche Wein bitte! Whoever knows German correct me.
I have problems too. They aren't teenage angst, high school drama, family problems or unrequited mental affairs with painful heartthrobs. It's perhaps a bit harder for you to understand because it's so different. But I'll try, near the start, where it's appropriate. I need to write about it because that's what journals are for - I've been trying to distract myself by listing my achievements and successes in my other entries. But that's unfair. It's not humanising. It's not an equilibirum of give and take, of control and fate tugging at each other. I need to mention the other side.
She, for a minute or two, stood looking at the house and said,
"There's no mistake. Considering the great debt I-"
And the rest was taken away by the wind.
Then she did a little dance, moving her arms in rowing motions, throwing each leg in front of her and stamping down hard.
When the Sun and Moon collide
You, who would be king will have a story to tell.
Yes, but for now pour her another drink - it's a wonderful title (wife)!
She will bear him the Son of France!
"What's it going to be then, eh?"
Four more days until I'm off my PEP medication. It has so many side effects man. I feel so tired, and I caught a flu too... in summer (it lowers both the red and white blood cell count... and its summer in New Zealand). I'm always zoned out, and it kind of gets me in an odd (slightly down) mood. I'm having the 6 week test for HIV around Christmas, and I've got my mind off it for a while. I got back into a bit of German and enrolled in Spanish classes next year. I've been going out heaps (everyday) just to distract myself. Besides the medication it has mostly been good news.
There're such things as vegan condoms?! Like seriously no jokes. My vegan most-likely-to-be-boyfriend told me about them. I laughed for ages until I realised he was dead serious. This is even more bizarre than his all vegan flat (all seven flatmates... jesus christ LOL). I woke up at his one time and they were all in the kitchen making vegan sandwiches together. Man he's outa control.
I can't sleep properly
i can't sleep properly
i keep worrying about my upcoming blood test
and it's like a month away
i'm getting dark circles around my eyes and I'm getting sick
but am i sick because of HIV or because i haven't been getting sleep?
it's like a month away
this is so painful i'm losing my mind
im losing my mind
someone save me
super duper excited for my birthday party tomorrow!
it's masquerade themed
i hired a bar
i'm getting a nice haircut
my friends will be there
they also got me a room at a hotel in case i get lucky
they know me too well?!
OH I CAN'T WAIT
Let's have a vote, cause I really don't know. It's probably the dilemma that everyone has to face eventually in their lives. There's that one 'perfect' person who you're supposed to like - but there's just no spark. Then circling around you is the boy (or girl) that you're always going to have something for, distancing away and gravitating towards you when you least expect it. And you have to make a choice.
Now just have to take the PEP for 30 days.
The hospital was really nice and gave the drugs to me for free.
They said they never do that - and told me not to tell anyone (oops).
It saved me over $500 though. How very kind of them.
I've learnt my lesson.
Happy day it is - going out soon - gonna go get ready now (to the music of Passion Pit)
I felt kind of sick today. I don't want to whine and complain too much, but that's kind of the point of a journal entry right? The meds are starting to kick in... I felt like throwing up on the bus to the gym. Then at the gym it got worse too, I had to leave early and I felt particularly sick when I started doing weights. We'll see if it gets better or worse during the week. Then I hung out with two of my friends who knows what's happening - but not once did they bring it up... I don't want to be treated like I'm sick. Which is amazing. I love them.