hellonwheels's picture

life...

So, I am having a hard time lately...just dealing with life in general.

I have been depressed as hell just thinking about the fact that I am gay, what effect it is going to have on my life and various other things. I am just really, really confused right now...I don't know...and the other day, in 3rd period, I was staring @ this attractive girl, knowing that I am gay (kinda wishful thinking) and I found myself attracted to her...I began to go back into the whole, " maybe I'm bi thing, though in reality, I'm 99.9% sure I'm gay...

hellonwheels's picture

so apparently....

I'm an alcoholic...according to the state of washington's bullshit definitions...now i know that i may drink when i have access to alcohol, but since i usually don't, i don't consider myself an alcoholic...apparently, according to the state of washington, if you have ever had more than four beers in a day in high school, or more than two shots of hard-a, you are considered an alcoholic, just by the fact that you are underage...bullshit...I'd be an alcoholic, but that shit is just too damn hard to get...

hellonwheels's picture

JackASS...

Go see it...funny as hell

hellonwheels's picture

DAMN IT!!!!

I fucking missed getting tix to shinedown/godsmack/Rob Zombie for free, just because I was right, my mom was wrong and because I was right about the timing of to the ferry from school, and she didn't let me out fifteen minutes early, I fucking missed my psychiatrist appointment, which I really, really needed this week...and on top of that, I missed my opportunity to get tix...I could still go, but

If your GSA started again this year, and there was a risk of ppl spreading rumors and such, would u still go?

Yes!
74% (25 votes)
no.
3% (1 vote)
Maybe
0% (0 votes)
not sure
12% (4 votes)
depends
12% (4 votes)
Total votes: 34
hellonwheels's picture

So today...

In my current world issues (CWI) class, we were discussing our five most important issues in economics, security, human rights, environment and the world...So anyway, we had to write a 2.5 page paper on that, mine was more like three, but when it came to the human rights part, I didn't know what to write...I almost wrote a bunch of things, including nearly outing myself over the gay marriage/ gay rights issue...our teacher brought it up towards the end because it had the second highest # of checks next to it in the human rights category...

hellonwheels's picture

So...

Well, I had an interesting night last night...I found out it was the first football game of the year by driving past school...lol, So I went, met up w/ a bunch of friends, school ppl and some ppl I hadn't seen in a long time...but it was fun, even tho we lost to the other team dismally...damn it...
But anyway, afterwards, I went to a friend and neighbor of mine's party...About thirty people showed up and his parents weren't hhome, so it got a little interesting and he bought several cases of beer- not bad beer either...

Have you ever had a crush on a friend?

yes
81% (52 votes)
no
3% (2 votes)
not sure
2% (1 vote)
off and on
5% (3 votes)
kind of, but it went away
9% (6 votes)
Total votes: 64
hellonwheels's picture

Sooo, last night....

Sooo, last night, after I ate some of the best pizza I've ever had for dinner, I went to work...I got there at about 7:00 at night....worked for a while, my manager being his usual douchy self, threatening to fire me because I was making 'mistakes' and shit, even though he's a fucking hypocrite and makes more mistakes than I do, then blames them on me...but anyway...around 7:30-ish, a few old 'friends' walked in and ordered some food...I took their orders, they sat down and ate, stayed for about an hour or so, then decided to leave...So anyway, all night long, i was getting bitched at, worked and annoyed...then my manager says that the boss wants the fucking bathroom spotless, knowing that the fucking toilet is broken and there is piss all over the floor, and he fucking tells me to go clean it up....so I did.

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GOD DAMN IT!!!

Why the hell can't I just be straight??? I was just hanging out w/ my ride group for like two hours and this really,really attractive girl, who is a friend of some of my friends from school was totally hitting on me for over an hour...and I kinda had to go along w/ it and flirt back a little to make it appear like i was straight to the guys I ride w/...GOD Damn!!! I just want to be fucking straigh

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V for Vendetta

So, I finally saw V for Vendetta...it was awesome...not as good as it looked in the ads, but it was still a great movie...i dunno, i liked it and i was really, really surprised at the amount of homosexuality and current world politics involved in it...Anybody else like it? I also have to go see the ballad of ricky bobby, the new will ferrell movie...it looks hilarious...later.
hellonwheels

hellonwheels's picture

So the wedding, psychiatrist's appt's and various other things...

Well, my cousin's wedding was this past weekend, and , as stated in my last journal, my whole family was here, at my house...so I was deprived of oasis and myspace for a while...god I'm a loser...lol. But seriously, we had my lesbian aunt from san francisco, my aunt and incle from san jose, my cousins and aunt from new york, my other lesbian relative from new orleans, and family from all over flying in for the wedding...so the whole week was pretty damn hectic....between my dad calling the house every five minutes, to the super liberal comments and discussions of my relatives, I was in a state of annoyance and chaos for an entire week or so...It was fun tho, because the last time we got the entire family togewther like that was for my grandfather's funeral in pasadena...oh, my other aunt and cousin from LA also came up and my grand-aunt and my aunt and my cousin came down from bellingham...

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Extended family...

Aww, my mom's extended family...a bunch of old, dried-up hippies and druggies, talking about old addictions, lesbian lovers, family problems, referring to my gay uncle (deceased) as one of the 'gals'...My mom almost outing me to my cousin as questioning...and or possibly trans-WTF??? she was like, and really loudly w/ my cousin above us on the deck..."I pity the girl, or boy or whatever that you end up w/" what's the whatever part? Is she thinking I'm gonna fall in love w/ a tranny???!!! I just LOVE ( note the sarcasm) my mom's family...

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SEE YA

Won't be on for a couple a days to a week...cousin is getting married and we're having a family reunion...so, I won't be on for a long while...later

hellonwheels's picture

Ahh, referendum 65, let the controversy arise again...

Well, for those of you in washington state, ie, Hyacinthus, Deepspace87, gothic gay boi, paper moth, and whoever else, you probably already know about the gay rights bill that was passed earlier this year, and the Tim Eyeman referendum, referendum 65 that was on the bill about a month ago to repeal it......well, here is a dumb local woman's perception of the GLBT community and where they stand politically...here goes the letter to the editor she published in this week's paper:

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