hellonwheels's picture

This is about how I'm feeling tonight....

Or at least was, until this kid tim hit me up on FB and said he couldn't be a redneck, cuz he's gay. lol. made my night a little better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fm72DPJCX58

hellonwheels's picture

Of depression and Delusions...

How I hate being gay. I feel like lately I am reverting back to where I was during my teen years.

I have no Energy anymore. Ever.

I am losing my mind.

As my depression worsens from factors that are completely out of my control, I revert back to my teen years. Full of anxiety, anger, angst....

I go back to the old me. Unable to process conscious thoughts. Unable to think. Unable to interact with others. I merely exist.

I dunno, but it seems like lately I have been going back to old paranoid delusions of the possibilities that used to haunt me.

hellonwheels's picture

Sooo I went...

Took me like a half hour to get up the balls to go, and all of a sudden just decided to go, and then...

Hang on for the epic moment of suspense!

There was no one there!

I drove a few minutes, like 40 minutes actually, out of my way, and there was nobody there! The club that spent all day today advertising their meeting tonight, and no one was there!

hellonwheels's picture

To go or not to go?

That is truly the question...

So today, there was a recruiting/ group trying to get people to come to GSA meetings @ school. their flyers have been up for about a month, advertising the new club, but I am still not sure if I want to go...

they meet on fridays @ 5 pm, when almost no one is even on campus anymore...but...it still seems risky. I mean, there are a lot of kids I knew still going to the local community college, albeit after this quarter, many of those kids are graduating and getting the heck out of there.

hellonwheels's picture

Man it felt good....

To start swimming again this week. Now, I know swimmerguy will laugh at me when he hears that I can barely swim 150 yards continuously, without screwing up my breathing and strokes, but it feels damn good to be in a pool again.

Let me back up. The local pool is in real financial struggle. And for local college students, they used to allow free use of the pool facilities...

hellonwheels's picture

haha...my ex-boss just posted these on my wall...

In response to a post about top gun I made to a buddy going into the navy as an aviator! The first one is Quinten tarantino's take on why Top Gun is gay...the second...also, but funnier.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyN8VN4BSzM&feature=youtu.be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6mTUZ_CwbU&feature=youtu.be

hellonwheels's picture

And this is why conservatives don't want

Gay Marriage...eventually, it will lead to perverts, beastiality, and other weird love addictions being legalized...

honestly one of the strangest commercials I have ever seen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4anFpVsbSw&gclid=COTe1qP8l64CFdFdtgodki5...

hellonwheels's picture

ahhh, westboro baptist...do these guys ever quit?

I mean, why on earth can't they just leave people alone? A few years ago, they protested @ the washington state ferries, when the anything but marriage laws were being considered in olympia, and now...

Now they are planning to protest Braden and Charlie Powell's funeral on the day Chris Gregoire (governor of WA state) is expected to sign the bill allowing gay marriage? They are saying these boys were murdered by their father due to gay marriage passing! sickening thought!

at least there will be a counter-protest!

hellonwheels's picture

I really want to try this drift triking stuff!

This first video is a buddy of mine last sunday, the second is of the World Champs? of drift triking? New sport to me, but it looks sooo fun!

40-60 mph, 6" off the ground, no brakes, or just a front brake, and drifting corners @ extremely high speeds!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxwaR_vuoew

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j56_YZvFsFs&feature=related

Looks so fun!

hellonwheels's picture

So Marriage...

Is almost legalized. we are about to become the 7th state in the nation to legalize it...just has to go to greggo's desk monday, then it is official.

Got to admit, I am a bit torn on the issue. Under the state's anything but marriage law, that has been on the books for the past three years, a few friends I know who are in domestic partnerships may be getting the shaft.

For example. Rob and Jamie have been together for about 10 years, they got into a domestic partnership last year. Mainly for the life and death benefits, and stuff like that.

hellonwheels's picture

Just curious...

Shelby and Chad, ferrets, and any other evergreener's on here, how much snow did you guys get? I got about 6". and have been having fun on the neighbor's quads and on my mtn bikes riding around. supposed to melt tomorrow, but it's been one heck of a good week so far.

that, and crystal mtn had about a foot of new on sunday on south back country....hiked it a few times, and had some of the best pow I Have ridden in several years!

hellonwheels's picture

God damn...

I need to get laid. been sooo fucking horny lately...for too long. Sorry if that was too much, but i really need to fucking get over myself, and get a boyfriend. even if I stay in the closet, I need to fucking find somebody.

I guess I got a taste of sex and love/ lust w/ rick awhile back, and now I feel like I need somebody, even though I hate being gay, and don't think I can really ever accept being a fag.

idk.

hellonwheels's picture

I just gotta say this...

But if Newt Gingrich or Mitt become president, I am thinking of becoming a canadian citizen! They have better health care, riding, and jobs up there anyway...and the mountain terrain and trail building on public land attitudes are awesome, because everyone in BC rides or skis!

hellonwheels's picture

Yay for birthdays!

God do i feel fucking old. So in an hour, I turn 23...yep. 23. and I am still a neurotic, crazy drunken, borderline retarded individual @ times.

Today, it took me nearly 5 hours to move a cord of wood, cut it, and put in in the back, under our deck. too long. and it beat the shit out of me physically.

I mean, I am probably among the most outta shape young kids out there,. I am shocked! shocked, that I haven't died, passed out, or had a heart attack or stroke yet in my life.

hellonwheels's picture

Well...

Tonight was just like old times. It was one hell of a send off. First, the two families united for the memorial, hundreds of friends from chris' life showed up, and we all remembered him for all the good times.

Then, after a not-so-moving service by a convert-or-burn christian priest, who didn't even know Chris, we all headed over to the bar.

Shots, beers, food, and hours of chatter later, it was good to meet up w/ all my old friends, and even some enemies, from high school, drink to our lost buddy, and make up w/ some people I had left at odds with. Including my ex. She was there.

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