and figured it fit just dave's theme the other night quite well. haha. funny video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn0FF1KwL4I&feature=player_embedded

oh, and cyclist I tried to find pic of in tighty whities for ya, Dave...he now knows about this site. the internet is scary sometimes. haha.

Didn't go to pride. But I did get on my bike, and go for a nice 70-ish mile ride through seattle's suburbs and out to snoqualmie.

Beautiful weather for that. man I am beat. time for sleep.

Is seattle pride...I am torn between going and not...I have friends who are, and I know they would be chill...but....seattle is sucha small town.

bound to run into someone I know there...If I go.

It has been years now, and I am becoming slowlymore and more comfortable with being gay, but still not sure.

Years ago, I wouldn't go to pride for two reasons. 1) I was too afraid to be outed and 2) that I would become angry and punch some stereotypical flamer in the face.

so yeah...not sure, but I guess I gotta decide. Thoughts?

Rode some jumps today and didn't die! yes! good sign, but my ankles are f-ed. also, rode w/ my aussie homey, and he was pushing me too hard, too fast.

also, saw my dad for dad's day. watched a movie w/ him, and walked around the hood w/ him and my sister.

my sister couldnt stop asking me about my bremerton 'girlfriend' though, prying into my now kinda non-existant relationship w/ rick. my friend. of sorts. who i lost my virginity to.

it's been...kinda awkward since then, but now my sis is prying into my life, and I'm all like...slowwww down, yo!

too many q's, too fast. fuck!

Freakin' EPIC WEEKEND! EPIC!!!

So, even though I hurt myself and couldn't race the super-d downhill this weekend in hood river, I still drove down. I rolled in to town @ 2 am on friday night, after work, and crashed @ my buddie's hotel's parking lot.

Saturday, I headed up the course, walked it for a bit, and hung out w. some old friend, who are HR locals. I love it there. If I could live there, I probably would.

It's a pretty liberal town, everyone is so chill and laid back, and it has virtually every action sport you can think of.

http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s11e05-fantastic-easter-sp...

If y'alls celebrate that kinda thing...

So tonight, at the gym....well, let me give you a little background first.

A few months back, I joined the same gym that my sister and brother in law "attend" quite regularly, and by that, I mean they hardly ever go. I did so, because it was the family rate, and saved me quite a fair chunk of change each month, as well as them.

I have been wanting to get into shape again for some time, so it just seemed like a good idea.

I started swimming again, and as of last week, also weight training...my GOD have I let myself go! haha.

I mean, sometimes I have a bit of a racial tendency to say the wrong shit, due to my dad's family history w/ the klan and other hateful organizations, and I might let the n-word slip, but tonight, I about witnessed a black kid get killed by an ABT member in seattle.

ABT for those who don't know, is one of the most rapidly growing, aryan/ neo-nazi prison gangs in the US today.

maybe I should update some shiz...whiles the roomates are not home.

hmm, where to begin? I guess I am kinda dating a guy, w/o the dating part. we have just been hanging out a lot- he's in recovery for drugs, which kinda sucks, but his family all seem to like me.

I quit drinking for him, so that's another good thing going on lately.

and yes, this is a current situation going on in my life, guys, dad has been in the hospital in critical condition all week, and I just needed to vent a little bit, -hell

Man, it has been one hell of a week. My father is ill again, and it has been a heck of a roller-coaster ride. One second he's a second away from death, the next he's healthy and has a stable pulse. I guess all of the events of the past three days have just been a lot to take in and to think about.

So not only did I hanf out w/ him the other night, but through txt messages while at work, I totally agreed to go on a date w/ him! umm, what the hell???

what has happened to me? I have never felt this way about anyone, ANYONE! and least of all, rikki. I mean, we went to high school together, he came out to school sophomore year, but still!

The last person I would have suspected finding myself this attracted to would have been him!

This time to a friend i never thought I would tell. he is gay as well, though he has a very loving BF who he's been in a relationship with for two years....

anyway, the events of the past month have been crazy. I had this friend in high school, and he added me on facebook just before i went on my trip.

he's gay. hes cute. he likes me. i like him. but the problem is, hes an addict. a felon. and a recovering drunk. I mean, I am a drunk too. but yeah.

I might have a date!

so this, guy, who i went to high school w/...who is out and gay, added me awhile back on facebook!

we started talking daily and exchanging IM's via facebook daily while i was on my trip, and now he wants to hang out w/ me.

tonight, while @ work, he asked me if i wanted to go ice skating w/ him alone, in the town near where i grew up. at first, it seemed like he wanted it to be jsut us, but then he invited our mutual friend M, the first person i was ever out to, and one of my current best friends.

I'm out...literally.

So, as of late, i have been struggling a little...ok, a lot. in school, in work, in life...basically, everything has been bringing me down.

I have been so depressed the past few months i have hardly been able to function. School has been kicking my ass, in fact, i am currently failing out of it.

My mom wanted to surprise me for christmas by flying me out to the country she has been in for the past few years in the middle east and to 'talk' about why things haven't been going well for me and about the medications that i am currently on...

ok...

and my internet crashed and i lost it all!

but lately, fml has been exactly how i feel. haven't been sleeping, high blood sugars, suiciadal thoughts/ tendancies. all of that shit has been building up.

this week i finally got approved for a credit card( statue of limitations on dad's/ gpas debt may finally have lifted?) idk...but first they said i was approved for a 1k limit, then that went down to 350, then my card comes and it says 250. I wonder if admitting to living @ one of my dad's rentals for awhile as a kid is what did that. idk. i wanted to be honest, but still