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speaking of alanis...

Someone posted an Alanis song recently, and I thought, "Damn, I haven't listened to her in a long time." So, here's my contribution to the Alanis tribute. I freakin love this song.

Do I stress you out
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say how appropriate
I don't want to dissect everything today
I don't mean to pick you apart you see
But I can't help it
There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off

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a brief and slightly scattered reflection


when you realize a(nother) reason why someone who's presence has been guilt tripping you for the past three and a half years was doing some of the same things that you were doing

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Floodgates

Once you know how amazing it feels to be yourself, anything less is simply unacceptable.

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Superficiality

... is my new middle name.

Am I just being too hard on myself?

(thinking)

No, I don't think I am.

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wide-eye zombie-ish state of mind

i was so nervous that i was shaking as i stepped into the car and she even asked me if i was ok. all i know is that i was speeding the whole way home and couldn't get it out of my head that i shouldn't have been driving.

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girls tease

girls tease and i don't like it. at all. i hate playing games and in the past two days i've run into not one but two girls that like playing games.

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gay clubbing = one of the best experiences

i felt so right being there for two reasons:
1) i love dancing and
2) julie.

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mental note: something to remember

I'm always saying that people won't shame you if you aren't ashamed.

-Jules

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Something scary...

... is happening to me. I'm transforming into...

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a date?

PANIC PANIC PANIC! This is me. A nervous wreck. Always. ESPECIALLY around girls. Girls girls girls.

Spirituality?

Still a Christian/Muslim (despite its stance on homosexuality)
27% (8 votes)
Um, Pagan. <i>Duh.</i>
23% (7 votes)
Wait, what does that entail again? I'd like to speak with my lawyer first, please.
10% (3 votes)
It's all about the Eastern religions...
13% (4 votes)
<b>I</b> am God. <i>(maniacal laughter ensues)</i>
27% (8 votes)
Total votes: 30
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irrational but prevalent fears

What if I never get a girlfriend? That's scaring me, even though it's silly and more than slightly irrational. What if I'm forever stuck in this fucking desertland of sexual oppression and ambiguity?

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Fuck.

L o s t . . .

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Woop-dee-doo

Guess Who!

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You don't know until you've tried it

I don't think I'll fully know until I've had a relationship with a girl.

And it seems like that will nnneeeevvvveeerrr happen at this rate!

blah. as petty as this may be, it's truly the source of much frustration.

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