napalmhamster's picture

Bleeding Through (Work in progress)

My father was my teacher
The one who taught me how
To dam up the River of Hurt
Now I wonder how he did it
I wonder what I missed
I can’t ignore it anymore
The flood is just to god damn much to hold

And now my pain is bleeding through
My walls are tumbling down
Defenseless
And now the siege is beginning
Emotions taking hold
I’m senseless

Tags:
napalmhamster's picture

And I (Completed Work)... Feedback appreciated

This pain, I feel inside me,
Anger, around which I cannot see
Betrayed, by my own heart’s desires
On the path, to my ultimate destruction
Now I need some divine instruction

And I, I don’t want to live this lie anymore
And I, I don’t want to scream and cry anymore
I don’t want to shake with fear anymore
I just want something more

Company, kept by the T.V.
The only one who won’t betray me.

napalmhamster's picture

Chapters 4-6 of GENERATION LOST... feedback appreciated

Chapter 4
Pushing
DARKNESS. SWEET OBLIVION. There are voices, though. Laughing, crying, yelling, babbling intelligibly. They all seem happy. Stanley can hear them, but he can’t see them. All around him he looks, and all around him there is blackness. A light appears in the distance, and he moves to it. There is a mirror in that brilliant shaft of light. Peering into it, Stanley sees is himself - years younger and smiling. The image turns and reaches up, and large hands come down to pick him up. He giggles and disappears. Stanley reaches out, but the moment he touches the mirror it shatters. The voices stop. Silence. Stanley throws his head back and screams. It is a strange, almost mechanical sound. The ground opens up beneath him and he falls.

napalmhamster's picture

Coming Out

So I just told my sister and my brother-in-law that I'm trasgender. It was on a phone call, and I said it first thing because I was so damn nervous. At first I was afraid that I had dropped it like Hiroshima, but they took it well. My sister was a little startled, and my brother in law took it pretty well. So, all in all it was a pretty successful operation.

napalmhamster's picture

And I (Still a work in progress)

This pain, I feel inside me,
Anger, around which I cannot see
Betrayed, by my own heart’s desires
On the path, to my ultimate destruction
Now I need some divine instruction

And I, I don’t want to live this lie anymore
And I, I don’t want to scream and cry anymore
I don’t want to shake with fear anymore
I just want something more

Company kept by the T.V.
The only one who won’t betray me.

napalmhamster's picture

End of chapter 2 and all of 3 of GENERATION LOST

“GOD DAMN IT STANLEY! Do you have any idea how worried we were? We didn’t know what to think!!

napalmhamster's picture

Rainbow Love

This is a song about love and togetherness that has always been a personal favorite of mine. I don't know who wrote it.

Rainbow Love

(Chorus)
We're a rainbow, made of children
We're an army, singing’ a song
There's no weapon that can stop us
Rainbow love is much too strong

I was raised in Mississippi
Saying yes sir, to a man
But I found that it got me nowhere
So I ain't gonna do it again

napalmhamster's picture

Reply by napalmhamster

I’ve had enough of your preaching,
I’ve heard enough of your goddamn sermon,
What the hell do you think your teaching?
You’re dragging me down.

I’ve had enough of your values,
I will not succumb to your honor code,
To all of the shit that you’re telling me,
This is my reply

I will not be one of your loyal soldiers
I will not be one of your fucking whores
I will not conform to your bullshit rules,

napalmhamster's picture

The Sound of Our Demise by napalmhamster

An old friend of mine died in Iraq. I wrote this song in his memory and in the memory of all others who have died (On both sides) fighting this dumb fucking war. It is still pretty rough.

Send the soldiers on a march to die
To the plains where the missiles fly
Cock your weapons and let loose your cry
Armies will clash kill to the very last
Innocent citizens will fall before the surge
Above the turmoil,

napalmhamster's picture

Happy!! (for once)

I'm soo happy today! I just got a phone call with my family. They told me that my little niece, Evie, just learned to crawl! It's so exiting, watching my sister's child grow. Best yet, I am going to get to go home for Christmas, so I'll get to see the baby!!

napalmhamster's picture

Deep Inside by napalmhamster

Deep Inside

Inside the whirlwind of my head
I see now that all my feelings are dead
The pain coalesces into hate
For this twisted shit named fate
Inside the sinkhole of my heart
Got to get out, don’t know where to start
Getting sucked down into that abyss
All my thoughts slide into nothingness
Smoke fills the vacuum of my lungs
I’m climbing a ladder with broken rungs
The rush hits me like hammer blows

napalmhamster's picture

Retribution by napalmhamster

Retribution

Why must I lie hear now,
Crying in the dark?
I let my life burn down
The bite was worse than the bark
My pain seems endless now
I’m drowning in self-hate
Now all thoughts fade to black
I guess it is too late

Now as my sentence draws near
Breaking glass is all I hear
The stealing and the lies
The betrayed love’s cries

I guess I’m guilty now
I’ve no innocence

napalmhamster's picture

1st. half of Chapter 2 of GENERATION LOST ...feedback appreciated

Chapter 2
Why Care?

“SEE YOU WHEN I can, baby.

napalmhamster's picture

Unhappy

Why can't I just be set and happy with who I am?! I don't care if that means gay, straight, bi, trans, whatever! Why does there seem to always be confusion around there kinds of things? Why can't I know who or what I am without having to question it?

napalmhamster's picture

Help! please...

I think I'm trans (mtf), but I'm not sure. The more I read up about it, the more everything I've done (crossdressing, wearing makeup, etc.) makes sense. But there is still one really big confusing factor: I'm bisexual, but my preference still lies a lot more with girls than it does with guys, even though often times I wish I were a girl. Is there any sure way to tell whether I'm trans or not? I'm

Syndicate content