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Am I Back To My Old Me?

I just did something I havent done in a very long time...I forced vomitted. I know...not good, I know.
I have been eating disorder free for years now and I guess...its just been eating me lately.
My bestfriend used to have a weight problem and now she is looking mighty fine as anything. And I feel like Im in a competition with her. I mean...I am so happy that she is comfortable with what she looks like now...and she definitely deserves it. Everyone has been commenting on it. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is...I think Im jealous. But why?? I really love her to death and yeah...

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Movement without thinking OR Thinking with movement

Just basically hung out with Leon the rest of the night. Cruised over to his work and waited till he finished. You know what they're doing? Just because he is leaving, they are like deducting his pay for this week~ how retarded man!

Here is the reason why he is leaving, and for my friend who will end up reading this...YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL BAD!!! I LOVE YOU!!! Hhehehee
Leon is leaving his work to move to Auckland. This is by far the most hurried up decision he has EVER made in his life. Now, I had a bit of a chat with him out in the carpark behind my house about his reasons for moving. Basically, this guy "TIMMY" (ahahhahahaha lol) is one of his MAJOR reason for moving, but also amongst other things such as better work load, we (his friends) are going to be there and there is nothing for him up here anyway.

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New Number On My Phone lol

Got home lastnight around about 11 something from Leon's because we went to the movies and saw Just like Heaven. That was a cool movie!

Anyway, I met him at Dicken's Inn around about 6pm and he bought me a tequla shot and rum and coke ahaha funny. He was with hot friend "V"...I got her number LOL. I was txting her off Leon's phone yesterday and it turns out that she's going to be attending my university in 3 weeks. Woot Woot!

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University Problems...so unneeded right now!

I cried today lol like a little girl. Zoey asked me to call her and I did as soon as I got to my aunt's house. Problems about our dorm...that stupid fucking dagfucker who is in charge of the whole place fucking forgot about us moving in early because we're nursing students and we start the earliest. Before we went back home for our vacation, we forwarded letters to him...HAND WRITTEN letters stating how we are to be expected back on the 22nd of January due to the fact that the nursing students are starting early because of our interships in hospitals. He of course said that it was ok to be put on the same fucking apartments and heeven gave us proof that we are to be put in these particular apartments. So tomorrow, I am going to fucking lose my mind because my temper is fucking raging as I type! I fucking hate that bastard!!! GODDDDDDDDDDD I could just strangle him!!!!!! ARRGGGHHH so Zoey was so frustrated and she starts crying on the phone. Then I start crying because she's crying and also because I was so angry! Have you ever felt sooooooo MAD and frustrated that you just start breathing really fast and start crying?? Well that's what happened to me this afternoon. ARGHHHH......Well I should change topics...

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Love Always Conquers

Just got home, its 11:25pm from Leon's house. Zoey was here all day today just hanging out pretty much. I LOVE HER! Anwyay...we took off to the hairdresser to get my hair cut again. This time its RIGHT! It's shorter but this is what I was aiming for at the start.
At Leon's, we watched Madagascar and it was soooo cutee...that little LEMUR thing...*awwww*
My journal entry is based about love. The lion in the movie and the zebra. their relationship always had a strong base and an awesome stability. When left with his natural predative actions, the lion (Alex) managed to get control of this and did not go for the kill of his bestest friend, Marty (zebra). This proved that no matter what you are and what you are supposed to do to survive, if you love someone...you are willing to do anything for that person. Even if it kills you.

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A Day Of Shopping With The Crew

Well got home at 5pm...the earliest I've been back from being out lol. Basically, the day started retarded so that didn't change until I met up with Leon and Zoey. I first went to get my car sussed out, then yeah...it's not going to be done until tomorrow...those stupid fucks are totally fucking us around just because I'm asian and I'm a girl, they think thaty I don't know jack about cars!
Went to go food shopping with mum and got some food...obviously lol. Then after, I got a txt from Shaun and Leon on both my phones asking where I was. So turns out, Leon was at the Town Basin which was like 30 seconds away from the food Pak n Save so I just walked to where they were. Zoey and Leon had this disgusting as drink they bought from a random shop and yeah...it was gross! Shaun was working out on the farm so he couldn't come to town, poor thing. Right now, I am so tired from walking around all the shops because Leon wanted to buy some new clothes. It was very hard to pick out jeans but the shirts that he got was awesome! I am so jealous lol. Anyway, went into Jay-Jay's and Zoey and I found this man shirt lol and Leon told me to try it out and he'll buy it for me. So I had to go get the Xtra Small and yeah...he got it for me lol $15 it was. Well I cannot type anymore right now because I want to sleeppppp...ZzzzZzZzZz...

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.....nothing much

Just got back 30mins ago. From the movies with Shaun, Zoey and Leon. We saw Rumor Has It....was awesome. I guess we're those group of friends who piss people off in the cinemas by laughing hard and loud or just moving around everytime or yeah, just plain annoying. It was hilarious that movie, made us all think about life itself. There was a quote in the movie which was "if you were to marry someone, you might as well marry your bestfriend", Shaun and I both looked at each other and laughed. We sersiously laughed. Our inside joke for the week. Then there was another quote "Life is short. Marriage is long. So drink up and that'll make it a hell of a lot faster!" and Zoey turned to me and told me that I am to say that quote in her wedding.

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My stupid day, got stupider

I just talked to Leon...the shortest ever conversation I had with him. He just told me that he told Shaun that he just wanted to be friends. Shaun's reply??? "Same here". We freaked out for nothing, but it's better to be prepared than not at all right? Also, Shaun didn't want to lose his friendship with Leon and it IS better this way.
I just got home from mum's friend's house. My aunt took me with her but mum stayed here. Found out that this dude that I sort of grew up with- but aren't closely knitted with is...infact...Gay. Turned out that he was in the same gay club only a day after we were. He was going on about it like there was no tomorrow. I just kept nodding and smiling. What else could I do? I'm eating cereal right now because that's all that's available in my house. Some fucking bad news about my car. Zoey called me to tell me that her dad who is a mechanic was going to make a 'stop-over' at the garage that my car was getting fixed at and give them a piece of his mind. I was like OMG are you crazy!?!?! Ahahahaha so funny though because he is like this staunch as dad and he just says what he wants to say no matter how anybody else feels about it. He is so crazy and I love him!!! Anyway, apparently, the people that are fixing my car wasn't able to find a balljoint compatible to my car which means that they have to order it at the TOYOTA palce which was going to cost me $400+ BUT if they just send the old balljoint to get rebuilt, taht will cost me $208 so I was like...well ok I think I'm going to go with the cheaper one. Then I txted Zoey this info and she called me saying that her dad was going to visit the people fixing my car. He also told me to cancel the balljoint repair and he'll do it himself. But it turns out that the shop that he gets his parts from didn't have any balljoint compatible with my car so this means that he needs to go back to the TOYOTA place...which brings us back to the beginning. So then Zoey said to take the car back to the place where mum got the four balljoints fixed and get a refund or ask them to re-fix it for free seeing as balljoints are suppose to last like 5 or so yrs, not 6 fucking months! URGH...I am going to stop here...this is fucking me off!

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Just Something To Read About...

1) Was 2005 a good year for you?
-- A mixture of good and bad...mostly GOOD!

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
-- When I visited Leon in Palmerston North and criticized his friends (lol), when I just hanged out with my friends. When we clubbing till the sun was shining, when I got drunk with Zoey down the footpath of our dorm lol AND when we became the CARPARK NAZIS hahahaha

3) What was your least favorite moment of the

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Why Do Want Things We Cannot Have?

To start off, I just got home from having a 4hour coffee session with Zoey and Leon at Dickens Inn. It has never felt better to just hang out with my two closest friends. I have forgotten how awesome it is to just look at their faces and see what is beyond it. I am crying right now...this sort of feeling overwhelms my deepest hidden emotions.
We discussed our passed relationships and what mistakes we have learned from them. I can tell you that none of us are perfect. If one cheated, the other was a skank and slept around. If one was heart broken, the other broke someone's heart. No wonder we are the best of friends. Leon is having a slight problem with a particular someone and Zoey and I helped him understand things as to why he made a mistake of going with this person. Yes, I am talking about Shaun. WHY DO WE WANT THINGS THAT WE CANNOT HAVE? Because it makes it more exciting and we crave for it more. And what happens when we get what we want? We decide that we do not want it anymore. It's like wanting a piece of expensive jewellery, we crave for it so bad that we start dreaming of it or something ridiculous like that and when we end up buying it and waste a lot of money, it just becomes another item in our jewellery box.

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Auckland Trip Babeyyyyy

I'm back from my trip now. And this is what happened...I stayed at Leon's the night before so I don't have to drive there in the morning and be late because I know for a fact that I will just bum around until I decide to fix up my things and leave for Auckland with the other two. Had pizza for dinner that night, Zoey came over because she wanted to get the fuck out of her house and watched this fucked up movie called, 'Dead & Breakfast'. We all think it was basically a movie flop from USA lol. Anyway, we were all on the bed watching and I felt so happy just being with the three bestest friends I have. I wish it could be like that everyday! We were laughing, I was being a toe to Zoey, Shaun was passed out and Leon was always the interested one no matter what movie it is. The movie did have some funny bits to it, but a retarded funny kinda thing. Afterwards, Zoey and I went for a ciggy outside and pretty much talked for a good hour or so and this was past 12AM. Then she went home, I got ready for bed and BOOM! I hit the sack! The next day was ok, we got up, made coffee for Shaun and I and hot choc for Leon. Then we packed our overnight bags and cruised off to Maccaz for breakfast aka another coffee from McCafe. Then off we hooned down State Highway 1 for the next 2hours or so. Shaun drove from Whangarei to Orewa (Oh-ree-wah) lol then from then on, he told me to drive around the cities. It was funny because everytime I over-took a car, he'd pull this face that sorta says "HOLY SHIT I'M GOING TO DIE!!!". Anyway we got to the city and the stupid Harbour Bridge only had like 3 or 4 lanes open, so that meant that all these mofo cars were all piled up and stuff. TRAFFIC JAM hard out. Well knowing me, I couldn't stay in just one lane so I kept changing lanes ahahhaa.

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My Life As It Is...

Well this entry will most probably contain texts which make my head twist and turn like a worm drying on the surface of a hot summer day.
Since last night I had been thinking about so many things. Started talking to this girl from Oasis not so long ago, just mainly about our daily lives reminds me of a younger me. She came across as a go-for-gold kind of girl and the typical teenager. But deep inside this young girl's mind lies the emotions that even myself would not be able to bare. I love talking to this girl, she brightens up my day even though she might know this.

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I Nearly Went Into A Ditch......

Ok I just got home from town with Shaun. Had a nice time, bought something...had drinks at Mondo's...the usual. We're also planning on going to CupNight again tonight but I don't know though because my aunts are here again so yeah, they're not going to be leaving till tomorrow. Another allnighter I pressume. We were buying Moccacinos at Mondo's and were getting served by this girl. Then Leon the fuck toe decides and yell out, "Lynn, stop checking out the counter girl!" So then, I was like...holy shit...WHAT!?!?!?!? Shaun cracks up laughing and I was left in an awkward spot because the girls were all looking at me!!!

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The 2Day Day

Well I'm back from the movies. I was gladly welcomed by Leon at the door lol and the first thing he said was, "guess who's sitting with us? The person who swims". So I automatically thought of Amy considering she is a life guard but no, it wasn't even. It was Sheila. She 'swims' because thats how she dances. She makes those swimming hand gestures so yeah that's probably where Leon got it from.
Anyway, we walked in and we couldn't see shit all and I like tripped over someones foot or something but I stood on it so HA...HA for whoever it was (ahhahaa). The movie was 'the Family Stone' or something close to that. It was ight but yeah, it retardedly dragged on. I saw the previews of 'Rumor Has It' and I thought it would be a pretty cool movie to watch. Next week we shall =) After the movie finished, this guy called out to me so I turned around. He looked familiar and yeah. He asked if I was Lynn and I said yeah. It turned out to be this guy who I used to go to Junior High and High School with. Funny thing was, he also went to Junior High with Shaun and to High School with Leon and he didn't even say hi to them. After Mark (the guy) left, Shaun and Leon were both like...WTF...he didn't recognise me and yet he called out to Lynn. And I remembered how Shaun knew him wayyyy longer than I did and Leon was in the same hockey team as him. So I was like...."well you guys just ain't worth remembering ahhahahaha!" Then they told me to shut it! But it was still hilarious though!

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If You Hate Stepdads....

Once I was happy the way it worked out
Once it used to be just her and I
We talked and giggled the whole time, but a lot has changed now, no doubt
My life has been a misery since you entered it
Ruining everything that made me happy
You would complain and moan about everything you see
And mom blames no one else but me

Why couldn't it stay the same? Her and I...A family
Disrespectful to others ans self-centered you are

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