omg fucking hell! i was in the middle of writing an entry when my explorer just decided to turn the fuck off! omg its soooo not my night..ok im gona cut it right down...i called a friend...she was shocked in a way, but she figured it was me (coz of the accent according to her lol). we talked for a while and that was by far THE MOST craziest experience i have ever encountered in mah life, then i got ordered by mom to do some water blasting on the concrete then my stepdad took over, being the man that he is (NOT!) and mom got fucked off...and so did i because he hasn't done it in like forever and now that i was going to do it, he wants to do it...we were all fucked off...and yeah. then i cruised to town to meet leon and shaun and see king kong but they sold out so we just watched narnia and instead.
Well my day was a tad retarded. I got woken up by Sheila (this lady friend lol) because she kept calling my house asking mom if I was awake already because she wanted to hang out. So by her 2nd call, I just got the fuck up and got ready to drive to her house.
Got there and she was all make-uped and was wearing a GOGO-JOJO once again. The other 2 girls- Denise(19) and B-Babe(26) were there too. May I just remind you all that it was raining the whole damn day!!! Anwyay, so Denise and B-Baby and I took off and left Sheila at her house because her landlodr was coming over to check up on things. I drove around and we ended up by the Falls. I was telling the girls how people would jump off the Fall and kill themselves. They were shocked but got over it lol. They took pictures as well which was fine. Then I get a txt from Sheila asking where we were and to come back to pick her up. So after, we went back to her house and got her and off we went to town. It seemed like an eternity when I was with Sheila, I know the plan was to show the chickas around...not her (Sheila)! Anyway, so we took off again and left Sheila lol. Yes you can probably guess that she annoys me lol. We cruised over to the mountain and looked at the city/town. It's so beautiful...all you see are mountainous views, a little bit of the town and whatever else you can see lol.
Before I go all sleepy anf forget about what happened today, I've decided to write it down lol. Well from lastnight, I went to sleep at about 4am-ish. The next day (which is today- Sunday), I received txts from people saying random shit which totally wrecked my sleeping rhythm lol. Got a txt from Shaun the mofo asking how I was, so I told him that I was still sleeping and to FUCK OFF (jokingly)lol. Then he txted back 45 mins later ordering me to get the fuck up because he wanted to shout me lunch at Mondo's and because he wanted to see Leon as well. So I was like, ok fine! So I got ready and off I went. I met up with him at the car park and he hopped in my car to help me look for a park. There were cars everywhere and it was a mission trying to find a park...I was yelling in the car, screaming "Fucking people! Why don't they just go home! It's Sunday man, go sleep or something!!!" (ahahahaha) then we found one so yeah that was the end of that scene lol.
Holy crappers! I just realised that Ive been ranting on about my life on here, mentioning names etc etc and to those who read my entries have no idea who those people are.
also I was flipping thru 'Kirika's' entry thats why hehehe.
Here are the people who I "think" ive mentioned lately...
Leon-> my gay bestfriend
Shaun-> my bisexual (other) bestfriend, who also goes out with Leon
Zoey-> my straight bestfriend/sister (not blood related lol) w ho I used to feel 'something' for
I dedicated this poem to my beloved brother. For all those times where he felt alone and outnumbered by everyone surrounding him.
WHY ARE YOU SO NICE?
WHY DO YOU TOLERATE THE UNTOLERABLE?
IS IT BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU...?
WHY DO YOU PUT UP WITH BAD EMOTIONS THAT MANY CANNOT?
IS IT BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU...?
WHY DO YOU STILL CHOOSE TO LIVE LIFE EVEN IF YOU SAY THAT IT IS NOT WORTH LIVING?
IS IT BECAUSE YOU THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY...?
Well this is a tad old now...I got home at 2:21AM hehehe...from the clubs again. This time there was a lot of us. I came with Leon and Shaun from the other party so just us 3 at first, then I bummed into Becca and the other girls. I stood by the 'cage' for almost an hour because they kept playing stupid old songs ie: Foot Loose etc so I couldn't really dance to that. Then we cruised over to the pool tables and I saw Sheila and Theresa playing so I walked over to them and chatted them up. sheila was pretty sh1t-faced but Theresa was ok. I kept teasing her that she was a lesbian because of Sheila lol and she came out with a, "I am not! I have a spanish boyfriend...SPANISH!" I was just like...okkk dude, no need to harass me lol. I thought that Zoey and Justin were going to come early- well as soon as Leon txted them, but she txted back saying that she was only getting dressed...and this was at 1AM...I mean, she really REALLY annoys me with those time schedules of hers! It was her idea to go out and then she wasn't even there! Anyway, I should stop blabbering about the bad things because it'll only get me rarked up~
Well here again...Ive decided to get rid of all my hair and end up with this. If you can't see it, well its your problem not mine. Im in a stage of conception and misunderstanding. My laptop wont work and Im here thinking about the years. I talked to Melissa tonight and I'll tell you whatm its definitely great to be able to catch up with her! I missed her so much..she told me that she is going to use her raise money to get me a ticket so I could go visit her. I mean, how awesome would that be huh? Anyway, mum is going to fly me to USA next year so I might stay there forever. I hate it here...I want a new life...New beginning with a great ending.
well as ya'll can see...i've cut my hair...it cost me $95 but hey, i dont care! i sat in the same chair for 5 flippin hrs...my as$ is sore now lol. anyways, i got home and my aunties were here and thel all started screaming and talking...how much they love my hair blah blah blah...i wish they'd shut up for once lol. mom made a comment that i looked like a DUCK (WTF!??!?) so i told her that she looked like a buddha. called my friend from FL too...she wants to buy a ticket for me to go there but as if..im going to accept that! i'll pay for it my way!
Well I didnt think I was going to write a 'coming out' story on the lovely OASIS but here it is.
5 years ago, I was in class with 2 of my bestest friends when I was just silently sitting there staring into space as you do when you're in class. Anyway, I had been thinking deeply about myself and what had happened when I was younger. I lived with my 2 moms, hung out with my guy cousins- playing guy things (NEVER Barbie Dolls etc!!!), dressed like a boy and God knows what else. Anyway, as I was sitting in class, I remembered my 1st grade teacher and how I had a major crush on her..then it hit me! I am sooooo interested in girls the way my mom is. So I looked over to my friends and smiled at them for some weird reason. Class ended and it was recess when I was walking with them. I stopped and looked at them both and said, "Hey guys...Im bisexual". As soon as I said that, my chest felt so good and I automatically smiled. They both just glared at me and said, "Oh that's nice. So who do you like here? You know, you're still the same person to us...you just like both sexes that's all!" I was amazed that they reacted that way. I thought they would be all grossed out or whatever, but they weren't. And as for my mom, well she knew I was like her when she caught me kissing my friend (girl) when I was 6 years old so I didn't think I needed to tell her.
No one knows the pain I go thru everyday
No one knows how much pain my heart feels everyday
No one knows how lonely I am in this world
No one knows…
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Have you ever laughed so hard so that you don’t have to cry?
Have you ever thought about ending everything in a split second?
I feel stabbing pains in my chest
SEASIDE, ROCKS AND MOUNTAINOUS VIEWS
THESE ARE ALL THE LIVING THINGS THAT REMAINED AND A FEW
FRESH AIR TOUCHES YOUR DELICATE SKIN
HOW LONG HAVE I WAITED TO SEE YOU AGAIN
TOO MANY MEMORIES I HAVE PUT ASIDE
BUT MY LOVE FOR YOU WAS SO STRONG THAT NOTHING COULD MAKE ME FORGET
GOODTIMES I SHARED WITH THE PERSON I DREAMT OF
COULD WE BE THE TWO PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTOOD WHAT LOVE TRULY MEANT
WHAT THE TRUE MEANING OF LOVE WAS, FOR THOSE WHO HAD NO CLUE
Through this complicated world of ours
I can see how things are made to have its own little part
A part of what seems to be a harsh and yet so fascinating world
An experience we should really take part of,
meet new people who may take part in our lives
and fill the gaping hole which exists in us all.
You may think that no one will be there for you
when you need them the most
You may think that no one knows what goes through
I got told that I was complicated...what does that mean? Anyways, still sick and bought medicine today. Dunno if its working. Found out something today and I wanted to tell someone but as always, I think I made myself look happy chappy so no one would notice.
No matter how hard I try to forget, I know it will be useless
No matter what I do to make me happy, I know it will never be
No matter what others say to me, I know I will ignore
Well another day of coming home really late, this time I came back at 1:06AM. Don't ask me what I've been doing...and you cannot blame me for being bored at home.
I made an appointment for my hair tomorrow and we'll see how it turns out. I've been talking with Zoey and Leon on the phone this arvo (afternoon) about life itself. How we are all happy about the way things are going and what are we going to do for New Years. I suggested Leon's house because we always seem to have the wickedest parties there so yeah...they all agreed but I received a txt from Amy late this evening, inviting me to spend New Years down at the surfclub. That was an awesome idea...bonfire, drinking, friends...what more can you ask for right? So we'll see who else is coming then I can decide, because I don't want to go there and find out that there's only a few people...that'll suck big time~
hey guys, once again I jus got home from DANGER (a cluB) and its cupnight which means that any drink with vodka in it is only $2. I couldnt drink though because I was sober driver and obviously I had to come home. anyways, we kept requesting songs to the damn DJ but he wouldn't play it...how inconsiderate...anyway great news! My buddy Leon is officially going out with my other best friend Shaun. Isn't this world great! And to top it all off, I was resting with the rest when I notcied this girl leaning against the wall with another girl.