my sis is continually bugging me, accusing me of flirting w/my friend, and I'm not! we just get really hyper.
she's thirteen, and i'm almost sixteen, so she'd be a little young anyway!
and YESTERDAY, I saw Ryu TWICE, and TWICE she ignored me...
I avoid eye contact with her, and my BFF says she doesn't talk to me because she thinks I'm mad at her.
I'm not, and she's the one who won't say anything important.
My poem, Retrograde Society is being published and I'm so excited!!
I just hope that maybe one or two ignorant hets will maybe understand it...
It seems all I do is confuse people. I'm just in this rut, where I can't say I'm NOT a lesbian, but I won't flat out lie, because I know I am.
Anybody else like this/been like this?
At first I just told myself I was bi - that was normal to me.
Then I figured out that's not the case, but I can't even say it out loud to myself, much less anyone else.
I think only one person has really been serious when they asked "Are you gay?"
I've made two important resolutions.
1. Start being a little more honest with myself and others.
and number 2....
2. Destroy all of my journals.
My sister snoops in my stuff all the time, and I can't let her keep proof and anything I say.
Almost no one knows, and I was lucky to snag the one she ran off with this last month...
They stare, with looks of disgust and disapproval.
Disappointment laced in their disallowing gaze.
We fight till the end, for these are our lives.
Who are they to say what’s right for us?
It’s all a matter of opinion, and technicalities,
But they make it out to be so much more.
Their distaste for our defiance, try to disband us.
We will stand strong.
Our rights are our own, yet we are not allowed them.
Suppose beyond the greenery
A single rose might bloom
Far beyond the edges of the garden
In the center of the daily traffic
Suppose this rose might survive
Or as a bud hide
Never to show its true colors
Afraid for the world to see
Just what would the point of exsistence
For this little flower
To hide in shame
Never to let its beauty radiate
Due to hate and fears
And every rose earns its thorns
Last year, I had tons of friends, including one of my best friends I had known since 1st grade.
Now I can't stand talking to a lot of them, simply because of her.
I know it started at the end of 8th grade/beginning of freshman year, because apparently she had kinda had a crush on me for a while. And days before Valentine's Day, she calls me, like usual, we were making plans for me, her and our other BF to stay the night at her house. So she just HAD to go and say "I need to tell you something. I can tell you now, or I can tell you later."
Hmm... I suppose I should first say I still can't say the 'L' word.
No matter how hard I try, I just can't say it. Not to myself, not to my best friend.
But I am, and I can't say it.
My Ryu... well, last year, Ryu and I met, she was a junior, I was a freshman. I had known for a while that..
well, I wasn't just into boys. We started writing notes to each other, and turns out, Ryu had a crush on me.