I need some help. My friend is being dumb. She is making me very upset adn I am not sure if i am angry at her or hurt by the fact that she is being like this. Heres what happened. I was very excited when I heard about a job for the summer that pays really well here in town. I applied for it and got an interview. My friend and I have had a few talks about me not going to camp possible because i don't think i can handle it this year.
it's almost grad..yeah. We had grad rehersal today..that was fun..i swear our class is on drugs or something. I am very excited that school is over now I just have to write 4 exams...ugh but whatever. I am also very excited that I have an interview for a summer job on monday...woo hoo. Anyway that was relly all i have to say..I have to go to camp soon...ugh going to e a long weekend
Seems like a long time since I have been on oasis, but really I think it's only been like 4 days. Hmm so I went to GIO'S last night. It's a gay bar in the next town over from me, where I spent the weekend at Annual. ahh good old girl guide events. They are great things.... I was in a session yesterday and it was about bias awarness in our units and how to become aware of it. I thought rock on..now we have tools to use for our girls of different backgrounds, experiences and of course sexual orientation. I was really kinda upset by the fact that everytime the conversation went anywhere near GLBTQ it was always redirected...it was like there was an unspoken rule where noi one could talk about being gay. We did an activity and it was to write down things that went along with beiong who you are. So your gender, age and religion. Sexual Orientaion was one of them, but it was hard to do she told us to write down our prefernce and anything that we have been at a disadvantage, an advantage, left out, huirt etc about being your esxual preference. My first thought was wow ok I am not going to write anything here, because i was the only person under 35 in the room and i had to district commisioners on either side of me and the national commissioner across from me. I hated that I couldn't write anything down, but i thought it was for the best already knowing what it seemed to be like when that topic came around in the room. That and guiding is very anti gay, it's actually funny in a way how anti gay they are. We had a little girl whose 2 moms where in the paper when they got married at parliment and she was in the picture wearting a brownie uniform and holding a caddy application, Guiding through a huge fit over it adn almost kicked the poor kid out of her unit. It was sad and really dissapointing when come to think of it alot of guiding has gay members and many of the leaders are infact lesbian.
i know the tittle has nothing to do with anything i jsut liked it.
Well today has been crappy. I am fighting with a friend and kinda taking it out on everyone else while i am at it. I hate doing that it makes me feel bad, and unfortunatly i am one of those people that talks before they think most of the time. I hate the way that as soon as your friends start dating they think that there is no one else in the world as great as there partner is. I don't think people realize that your friends are going to be here long after the dumb boy or girl dumbs your ass anyway. I don't know somedays i think no friends would be better than lots of friends.
So today I came out to a guy at work..well actually he kinda guessed. Have you ever seen the pilot episode of The L Word? The part where they are at Bette and Tina's party and someone says that all lesbians have an index finger that is longer than there ring finger. Well My friend and i wanted to have some fun and realized tthat it did infact work for us anyway. I tried it on travis...i don't know how it would work for guys but i assume the same way.
I turned 18 on saturday. I didn't do much...but then again i am not much of a party girl. I like to go out adn get drunk every now adn then but in large groups with tons of friends it really isen't much fun with jsut 2 people. I spent my birthday with Lynsey. We went down to Osbourne Village..gawd that place is sketchy...weird people everywhere...but it was worth it. I finally got my eyebrow peirced...YEAH!!!!!! wnating to do it for a while but wasn't old enough.
Today feels like one of those days when everything is doomed to go wrong, not sure why though. It's already 4:30 here and the day is wasted. I spent like a hour at the hospital because I have had a headache all week, since like tuesday and it just doesn't want to go away. I hate docters..I have ad headaches for nearly 2 years and no one will do anything about them. I mean sucking it up and getting on with life is one thing but it's hard to do when they never go away.
I am pissed, this has been one long fucking week. Where to start? So lets start woth last week because it was shit too. So I was talking to my cousin and told her that there was a room open with me adn court in the house that we are sharing and that if she still needed a place to live that I would talk to court adn get back to her. But i told her that she need to be aware of the fact that there is a lot of lesbianism that comes along with it.
Well I am excited I am almost all done my AP course. Today I wrote the first one and then on thursday i will write the comp one then we are done..YEAH!!! I thought that one essay question was really intersting i can't say what it was but basically I got to write about minority rights, so i choose GLBT rights. I was tottally on a role. I hope that it is better than I thought it was. It was awesome though really it's not very often that you get such open ended questions in which our rights would be so appropriate and to top it all off becaause we are a canadaian school and these are all maked in the US we have far better chances of getting higher marks with originality.
So I have always nowhen that not everyone at work liked me adn that is fine. I now find out they hate me because they thin I ratted them out for smoking pot. Which I never did. I think they don't like me for the pure fact that I stand up for myself adn my beliefs. I rather they hate me for who I am and what I stand for than who I am not. I know that sounds so cliche but it's true. I don't understand why people don't like when others let there opinions be known. I like to know where people stand it helps me better to relate to them. I will atleast know how far i can push before i step into territory that is going to be contraversial. I guess you could say I am one of those people that has no problem letting others know exactly how i feel about something. I sand up for gay rigths and the rights of all people.it just urkes me when people feel the need to bash others. As for this whoile pot thing that is going on there it's always been there it just seems to get worse every now and tehn. I don't like them doing it when i am around it jsut bothers me. I know that if they get caught b y police adn i am there it goes on my record as well. I can not afford to have a criminal record for anything especially drugs. That would so limit my jobs in the future. If they want to limit themselves that is fine they can go right ahead and do it. But i don't think i should be held responsible for there stupidity. I feel kinda as though this isen;t making sense anymore. sorry if i am taking you in circles. I seem to be good at that.
Well first I am going to apolagize my last entry had so many spelling mistakes i would so not be surprised if you could not reas it. This one will probably have some too. I am a bad typer what can I Say. So i am thinking that I should write in here more often just for the heck of it. Today was an alight day i guess. We had lits today..ha they were awesome and funny. Got to love lits. Have you ever gotten mixed signals from a "straight" girl or guy? My friend insists she is straight.
Yuo thats right i got a rant for this week jsut because i can. Yup jsut because i can. So i am not down with this councelling thing anymore. This week when i went and felt like i was going in circles, twice now we have talked about why i was refered there once wwas about friends another time was about me and kalynn not getting along and this week was agian about why i was refereed there. So basically my rant is about her telling emt hat to makje my mother feel better i should but her ont eh same page. Which is fine. Then she says i need to tell her why i am not hanging out with kalynn anymore. So i am sitting tre think ing.....right i am going to d that. I mean fuck what am i supposed to tell her. "O by the way mom i am not friends wiht Kalynn anymore because she found out that i like girls so she is to homopphobic to deal with that and so you know i like girls. I mean think about it not oging to happen! not going to do it she tottaly does not need to know that. Ok done with complaining
So i guess today is way better than yesterday and the entry i put up. SO caddy called today, but relaly only because i had already called 2 times this week, today i said that i needed to know if i had a job and that it was unfair to not have called 3 weeks later. like 2 hours ago diana called and told me she was offering em program councellor and i was like well thanks, but to be honest i am not sure that i want to work for caddy this summer and that alot went one that will not be good for me at caddy.
I wish i was sleeping right now. I am so so tired. Lately I feel kinda like crap especially the last 2 days. I cried myself to sleep last night. It sucked. I am so stressed. I have so much to do on my math project adn I can't find anything anymore, and my teacher is away so i can't even get the sheets i need. he is not back till the 26th, it;s due the 28th. I am screwed. I have a portfolio to do with little time left to do it aswell. I guess it won't tak em to long but i still need to do it. Summer jobs has me very stressed. I just hate camps right now at the mention of teh word CAMP I almost gurst into tears. I hate that people can't be bothered to call back when they say the will. I was intervewed for a camp in Wisconsin they said that in 2 weeks they would call back, weather they needed me or not, 3 weeks later no call so i am pissed and called thbis morning..she says
I saw RENT and i think I am hooked for life. I have watched it 3 times since wednesday. I watched it once by myself and then with my mom and dad and then today after work Christine came over and we watched it,it was so so so awesome.
So I am thinking that my lateest problem seems to be that i got for the straight girls WAY to often..hm no time to go into great detail, but it's bothering me. Gah