No, they're not really interrelated, however, my mood as a byproduct of wanting to slash those peoples' throats led me to tell my brother I'm gay.
I should be working on my ISU (a.k.a. an essay worth 10-15% of my History mark) which is basically due Friday. But I'm not, since LOST is on soon, and I'm listening to The All American Rejects' Stab my Back. It's great!
Having one of those stretched out 'moments' where I crave a boyfriend, to talk to, to hang out, to hug, to lay my head down next to.
So quickie, but I had a nice day today, have this horrible English thing to do tomorrow that I'm not really prepared for but will HAVE to do anyway. I saw/met 3 guys tonight that I knew were gay the moment I saw them, and have considered gay all along, even though none were obviously out.
I had a pretty slamming day today. I was very buoyant and saw a bunch of guys my age who I knooooow were gay, but aren't out and were all girl-palled up. I sort of want to type more but I'm somehow paranoid, and wishing one of those guys would be on here, since I so wanted to get some networking going on, rather than just seeing them and then, never again.
Mmm, just been unable to focus on things lately. I had a bunch of work I could've done over my March Break, but I put it off. For one of the two projects, it paid off, except I'm a bit sleepy now even though in a few hours I won't be ABLE to sleep for whatever inherent insomnia teens like me seem to have.
I highly doubt they're gay, but those rainbows and the whole song's *sound*, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Of course, Romania = not gay-friendly, but still, cheery song :)
Well the title is maybe harsh but for meeeeee, that is the question in mind. I did actually get invited to a girl's birthday party, and it would've had male friends from another school there (though I doubt any of them would've been gay, but whatever) but I chose not to go, since it was too early!
Sooo, I just shopped around on Amazon since it actually IS the best for all the nice DVDs my lady friends would surely like, and I did get invited to one of their b-day bashes so I'll buy a present for that anyway, but the thing IS, is that even if I lower costs by chopping off a few extras, I'm still dropping $105+ on the friends. That is, a DVD each for about 10 people.
Really debating whether or not I want to give them all gifts, if it's just because I want to give off the well-off/richie rich vibe I have been, since I got them all gifts last year, and the year before that, or if it's for their affection.
I feel so on the border of happiness and sad right now, I was listening to this:
well, watching, and how the FUCK do you add a link thingy here? Is it < ul > on both sides, or can you do < U > enclosing the link, then name the link somehow or WHAT?
There's a girl I've become way closer friends with now that I know would be completely understanding of me being gay, and she's kind of let in all these little chances for me to SAY something gay, and I want to tell her, but during the day I'm all protective of it I guess. I need to figure out some way to tell her or just a friend @ school ALONE in school, since seeing them outside of school and telling them would probably be awkward, even if they took it well, I'd rather spend hours with them AFTER they knew I was gay.
So thanks for the comments last time you know who you are, they were pretty helpful! :) I'm sure all of my female friends would be ok with it if I came out, it's just that I'm not sure how much more interaction we'd actually have outside of school! And some things, like going to the mall might be fun, but I can see a bad angle of it really just being me the gay guy going into girl's only stores/just waiting on her/them to try stuff on and critique it. And then if I wanted to get anything as non-awkward as it'd be, it might still just be weird since they'd be waiting on just me to change and I'd be the only guy in the group looking for something for me, or that's what I think right now.
Well it's beeen a chunk of time since I've posted anything here, I don't know if I'm regressing or still freaked out I told my mom I'm gay a month ago or what. She's fine with it, told me that she's read/heard about teens being unsure of their sexuality and changing though so 'maybe you should wait befor ecoming out until grade 12 when you might be more sure'. Well that was on the night of me saying I'm gay and we've talked a bit about it here and there, and I got back closer with my cousin who I first told, but lately I've felt sooooo left out by my female friends, they're not deliberately rubbing their little events in my face but I can't help but hear about this or that trip to the mall, or to the movies, or to someone's horesebackriding competition, or b-day party, or mini-putting, or halloween event, or tv day/night at someone's house...
And she took it fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wasn't really building up much suspense but today is her birthday and in my mind it fit and I was thinking about it earlier today and was just and am just in the right mood, not overly buoyant or too hard thinking but after the guests left from the mini-party we had and I showered and she showered and my dad was outside fixing something and my old aunt relative who's staying with us off figuring something out, I told her I had something to tell her and said maybe you should sit down and we sat on the bed a sec and she said jokingly that she might as well really sit down so she got under the covers and asked me what it was and I began to get choked up a tiny bit, and I just kissed her forehead and thought about how I could just not say anything, or lie or something. She ventured a guess that I was in trouble at school, I said no, then she asked if I had a girlfriend. I told her it started with a g but wasn't a girlfriend.
Well I haven't been here in a good whiles! My summer has been going fine, albeit I've been 300% antisocial the whole way and now a flood of relatives is coming to stay until the 1st of September so dang. I feel pain for you all who have school starting already! In CANADA it starts on the 4th of Sept. So holla' ;p. My aunt called today, she lives in London so yo yo to any Englanders out there being of reading this. We got into this nice convo and as it always seems to end up, she got onto whether or not I'm looking into any girls or anything, and right now I'm perfectly comfortable with being gay, and it just seemed like the PERFECT time for me to say, 'well auntie, I'm actually gay'; and she's my #2 favourite aunt out of 16+ so I know she'd have been cool with it, but anyway my nice built up lying came into play again and I went on to say how I was looking at some but none caught my eye and we'd see what happened later in the year.