well, it's been a long time since i write here again..
it'll sound kinda weird but i'll make this short, i'm confused about my dreams
in real life, i like femme girls and for the past few dreams i dreamnt of femme girls
but yesterday's dream was me and 'shane' from the Lword.
when i wake up, i was thinking to myself, i like butch girls?
i went redang( a vacation island) with 5 of my friends..
and on the 2nd day night i got tipsy and did things which i'll never ever forget or regret.
there's this girl i like who also went there
to cut the long story short, i'm the only one tipsy and i ran and ran on the beach to forget my past and my sorrowness in me.
I'm currently out to 2 of my friends. One is a guy and one is a girl..
actually that guy found out so i've got no choice but to tell the truth and he promise to keep it a secret. But sometimes when i hang out and play around with girls he will give me that stare which is very annoying..
Past few weeks i'm out to my friend which is a girl and she doesn't mind..
ok, this s sequence to my previous journal.
well, i went to gym just now and i saw 'her' again.My hear kinda beat faster than the normal rate. I just look straight and pretend i didn't see her again..
!! and i regretted and i don't know why i keep on doing that! so frustrated at myself...*bang head on wall* jk...haven't bleed yet..
whoa.. it's been a really long time since i last write here..
hhmm, i just miss the feeling of writing here..since i don't have a journal myself...i treat this as my journal with some comments here and there which is like the journal talk back to me o.O
anyway, i went to a gym lately near my house just to keep myself fit cause i'm kinda weak.
i went to my church youth camp and this girl treat me so nice but we've been friends for a few years but didn't chat a lot...
so, she loves to hug people and when she hugs me i turn on...
but she don't know that i'm actually gay
i came back and saw her website, she put that she's a fukin playgirl
wow...it's been a long long time since i write journal...ok here it is...
i was watching 'south of nowhere' from a website..and it's downloading but finished so i just left it there and my dad used it and he saw this movie and i think he knows i'm gay....but the good thing is that my computer speaker is spoilt so basically he can't hear what they're saying but that episode include when the mother surf the net and there's this sentence 'don't take i'm gay'....
ok..this is what happen to me..
well, me and my friend where talking about grabbing each others breast because of the song 'my humps' where the part goes like this....
What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
we change the work to grab...then we sang the song...this was a few weeks before..and today we're in the lab..then she say grab my breast she say she doesn't care..so i wanted to but she block it with her hand then when she stand up i couldn't believe that my left hand grab her right breast...
my school organize a jogathon yesterday...in total we have to run 7km..
i run and run but still loose...aarrgghh..so sad and frustrated and this is my last year in school..cannot win the medal....no more chance already.....*sigh*
i bought the book annie on my mind plus girl walking backwards plus empress of the world..so happy...it cost me 100bucks..haha...1 months pocket money gone..anyway...got to study real hard now..have been neglecting my studies lately...
lolz..i watch brokeback mountain again this afternoon and this is the 3rd time i watch it...
any lesbians movies?? suggestions??
i read the book 'define normal' i thought it was a gay book. but i read it till the end that i notice it was a normal book. lolz. anyway, i manage to read it till the end. i hope to read as many les books and watch too.
i cried last night too without reason. i'm tired of being alone. *sigh*
i guess i prefer girls who are taller than me and a bit butch that i can feel protection around me..