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ThinkB4YouSpeak PSA with Hilary Duff and Wanda Sykes

I wish I could show this to everyone in my school.

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One tentative step
Cut through the misty fog

The internal battle rages

“Why am I doing this?”
“It’s the only way out.”

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two new poems

hey guys. wow, it's been a while. my last post was in march. anyway, update: i'm in love with a girl and she's perfect. it's the same girl that i've been having issues with since seventh grade. you don't have to, but if you want to you can read some of my journal entries and you'll know which girl i'm talking about. but we've both matured some and we're starting to become good friends again.

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my friends mom just died from cancer. christmas eve morning. he just IMed me and told me. its times like this that i really wish i was goth. they're misunderstood because people think that they're all about death and suicide and crap like that, but they're not. they are good people because they celebrate life AND death. they understand that death is a part of life.

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damn her and that aorable, heart-melting smile! i thought i was over her for good! i thought we could just be friends and i would be happy with that after everything thats happened. but no. i have to go and fall in love with a boy and then fall in love with HER AGAIN!!!!!!!! its driving me insane! i mean, i bought her a christmas present, and i dont even know if i can give it to her. is it weird to give your ex a present for christmas??? and whats more is that even though i cant decide between the boy and the girl (im bi, btw, for those of you who are new ;-), it probably doesnt even matter because my chances with either of them are minimal. *sigh* oh well.

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depressed (aka: nothing new)

unrequited love sucks ass. im kind of depressed right now (not unusual). i guess today just wasnt my day. but hey, thats what oasis is for, right? im in love with a guy i cant....well, not cant, but probably wont have. uugghh.....o well. hes so cute. i want him SO BAD!!! some of my friends tell me that he stares at me during chorus or whatever, but i dont listen to them. i wish it was true though. *sigh* but hey, dont listen to me being depressed and crabby, im not here to bring people down, so please, messgage me. anyone. any random person. if youve never read my posts before, send me a message telling me about whats going on in your life. i LOVE to make cyber-friends!!! ^_^

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Kissing the Flame

this is a story im writing about a girl who discovers that she's a pyro. im not quite finished with chapter three, but i'll put it in here anyway. here ya go:

Chapter 1

First thing's first: I can do things that no one else can. Everyone clear on that? Good! Moving on......What? Yeah, yeah, I know, I should elaborate and blah blah blah. Can't we just skip all these explanations? No? Ugh. Okay, fine. It all started like this......

What is your favorite punctuation mark?

period .
1% (1 vote)
comma ,
5% (4 votes)
apostrophe '
0% (0 votes)
quotation mark "
4% (3 votes)
question mark ?
10% (8 votes)
exclamation point !
19% (15 votes)
colon :
1% (1 vote)
semi-colon ;
19% (15 votes)
parentheses ( )
5% (4 votes)
elipsis ....
35% (28 votes)
other [insert punctuation mark here]
2% (2 votes)
Total votes: 81
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no fitting title available

wow. i cant believe this. and theres nothing i can do about it either. i guess the only thing i can do is accept the fact that all the people i think are my best friends wont last and that they'll all dump me eventually....god i hope thats not it.

the first best friend i had when i came to this school was rachel, and we've been best friends ever since, but she hasnt really talked to me much this year. when i try to get close to her, she says im being clingy. when i tried to be there for her when she was upset, she wouldnt tell me what happened and just told me to leave her alone and that i was making it worse. the only time she would talk to me was either to ask me if a rumor was true or to tell me something about her crush.

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okay, so this is basically whats going on in the life of me. im still in love with a boy at my school (i know more about him than he does about me. isnt that weird? like, i know how to spell his name (first and last), i know his birthday (this friday, actually), i know what his locker number is, i know he plays the trombone in band, i know he's number 86 on the middle-weight football team at school, etc.....). and im having fun with this because almost every day, we end up catching the other one's eye and just stare for, like, 30 seconds before either of us can look away. its awesome. i cant help swooning at the sight of him. and this is okay for me because ive finally come to accept the fact that i like guys as well as girls (for those of you who are total blanks right now, for a while i really didnt want to like guys because i wanted to be a lesbain, but i like being bi now...more options ;-).

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holy shit

oh my fucking god!!!!!!!!! i cant take this anymore!! i cant have any more close friends dump me like this anymore!! so, for those of you who follow my journal, you know that i WAS in love with this girl that i "went out with" but then she turned on me and spread rumors instead, blah blah blah....well, now that school has started, she doesnt want us to be friends in school b/c shes afraid of people spreading rumors that we're going out (which is stupid b/c shes the one who spread the rumor about me being a lesbian in the first place!!) and on some level, i can respect that b/c i know what its like to have rumors spread about you. but its not just when people are around, its, like EVER!! which really pisses me off b/c we developed a good friendship over the summer. so now, just tonight when i try to confront her, its turns out like this:

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where'd it go?

so a few weeks ago i posted an essay i wrote called "We Are Human Too" in a forum, a few people commented on it, which is awesome, but now i cant find it. its not in my journal, and when i search through the forums, its not there either *scratches head*. where'd it go? and how do i get it back? jeff, adrian, a little help please?
Love love,

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wait a minute.....

so i've been wondering lately, how come all of jeffs posts get bumped up to the home page? am i the only one who's noticed? maybe im just imagining it, or maybe im going crazy, but....idk. maybe he just has more vital information. ugh, o well. i guess im just bored. :-P

P.S. no offense, jeff

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Emotions Explained

i wrote this in, like, third grade, but its funny, cause when i found a few months ago, i asked my mom who wrote it. she was like, " pretty sure you did, dear."

Snow, cold and white
Sun, warm and bright

Rain, damp and dull
Earth, rich and full

These are moods
Determined attitudes

Just listen
You'll see what I mean
You'll think differently
After you've seen

Snow is solitude
Sun is joy
Rain is sorrow freedom

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Good, Bad, Life

Good, Bad, Life

Every single
Twist and turn
Ahead of you
In life

Will bring you
Joy and happiness
But also
Sorrow and strife

Do not take
Advantadge of
The good times
They won't last

They are there
To heal the scars
Of bad times
In the past

Some say running
From struggles and fears
Is better
That's not true

In the end
It is your friends
Who help you
Make it through

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