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Uni starts next week.... actual classes! i'm scared mummy...

this week was my first week on campus, meeting people, finding my way around, blah blah blah. So orientation week. but acual lectures and tutorials start on monday, and i'm crapping myself. what if i haven't bought all the text books i need? which of my new friends are in my classes? what if i haven't done the proper readings? does this all get easier after a while?????!!!

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I'm back and things have changed

i have been computer-less for ages and now this bitch is back!

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maths test was alright, but i'm tired.

i totally owned the maths test today, i'm really happy with how i think i went. but i was so tired afterwards it wasn't even funny. i have to finish my notes for the health essay tomoro, write my english oral and organise the use of an over head projector and a cd player, and then write my music essay. at least math is out of the way.

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Heterosexual males are frustrating.

choir today. picture this: 4 seniors sitting in the back row. sean, mike, me and jake. i swear to god they are all gay if, you know, they weren't FUCKING THEIR GIRLFRIENDS EVERY FRICKIN' NIGHT!

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fuck fuck fuck help i'm drowning in schoolwork!!!!!!!!

i have to write my art draft by tomoro, i need to study for math test monday, i need to write english essay, music essay, i've lost my play text in drama which i need for directing piece, i need to hand in 3 resolved art pieces! i'm only on here now for a breather, and i'm drowning. i had a cup of coffee before to keep me awake (3 coffee and 3 sugar) and i just need to slow down!!!

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I did an HIV/AIDS interview

our health assignment is on communicable diseass and how they affect various groups, so i've chosen HIV and the gay community. i am so psyched about it!

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look on the bright side, my arse.

i must say that title is a little ironic. i've been so horribly stressed this week. i have a maths assignment due tomorrow, and i only just completed it. i have been worrying and fretting over it, and i have started stress eating again. but not to worry, it's finished!

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Parties are super-fun!

Not much on my mind at the moment. i have a few assignments to do work on, but at this very moment, i'm not worried. the heat is pretty bad, and we've just come into bloody autumn! i got a bit desperate today, i was sitting in music today singing "All By Myself", and then i realized that i'd gone over all this with mike on saturday night.

SATURDAY NIGHT

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The Vagina Monologues

I saw it last night. my mum's cousin was in the cast, and the director is a very close friend. i was totally blown away!

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swinging

fuckin shit fuckety fuck fuck!

i hate this shit. i feel so conflicted, it's my last year of school and i either spend my time cursing the school or professing how much i love it, cos if i'm honest, i love the place, i can't think of anywhere else i'd rather be - i've been looked after there. but half the time i want to turn my back and run and start my new life.

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alot to talk about, i've come out!

ok, so i've come out to one person, but it's a bloody start! she is a distant relation of mine whom i became really close to whilst holidaying with family down south. after coming home, i rang her up and said, "I'm gay." she was like "Really?

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why do i want to just die?

i am so fucking bored, and frustrated and tired at the moment. my mum is in mackay, my dad is shacking up with his new girlfriend, whom i hate already even though i've never meet her, and my sister and i are constantly fighting. to top it all off, i've spent this entire weekend home alone. it is also very likely that i'll be spending monday, my day off, the exact same way.

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Preparing to come out.... in writing form.

So i wrote a letter to one of my sisters, basically coming out to her. first i need to clear up that she is not my sister by blood. she is the sister of my sister........ sigh.......... my sister from my dad's first marriage, well her mum had 2 more girls to her 2nd hubby. is it clear now?

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last post for 2006

first i'd like to say a big thankyou to oasismag, this place has really made all the difference to me this year!

so anyway, i leave tomorrow morning to melbourne! i get back on the 29th, so there is a good chance i'll post again before the year is out. so yeah, it's been an interesting year. mike and i will hopefully continue our friendship, and hopefully something more ;) that is, once we're in the same city......... at the same time! and i want to give a shout out to everyone here who has been kind to me lol gawd this post is like a fucking oscars speech, but i don't really have much to say, baby jane. catch you later, oasismag

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everything takes a wrong turn

ok, i was feeling quite good quite recently. i was sure about everything - i knew what my plans were this week, i was confident about the trip i'm taking, and i knew what i wanted.
now though, i'm totally not sure on anything. like my plans for today. i was going on a trip to the valley today with a good friend. the valley is THE hippest place in the city. it's all art galleries, funky clothes shops, cool little indie music shops, i.e. it's the shit, i love it there. it also has a bit of a rep as a gay hangout (well, where i'm from it does) so i'm very comfortable there. it used to be kinda rough, it still is, but things have settled down (when i'm there things are ok). so anyway, plans were checked, we were taking the train together, rah rah rah, until i get a message saying that she can't come and that she's really sorry and how she's going to make it up to me.... i kind of expected it. these things seem to happen to me a lot, so i didn't really get my hopes up. but then i was hugely disappointed, so i rang around, asking people if they want to come with me. i finally asked this girl i know called joanna, and she said yeah, sounds fun.

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