it probably is lol. i haven't wrote in...a long time. a lot of shit happened, like always. everyone has shit going on.
but you're probably wondering why i have Vicodin and if i have a drug problem, which i don't. i have strep and the Vicodin is 1 of the meds i have to help with my pain, my pain right now tho is moreso cramps than anything 'cause mother nature just hates me.
i went to the gym for an hour by myself ‘cause i was too overwhelmed and stressed that i just couldn’t go straight home. i even skipped out on going to my friends house for some chill&drinks time after the gym ‘cause i’m in such a bad mood.
maybe i’m being childish or selfish but right now i don’t care.
it makes me feel that all the times i’ve been there for someone…i need to put up with the shit and then man up and be the first to just go at it headfirst and be the bigger person, but i don’t want to try anymore…at this moment i don’t care anymore.
maybe i do seem just a little loner-ish...just going back and forth from page to page just reading and thinking...and drinking my oj w/vodka.
...at least i'm legal now:)
it's going to be a long night >.<
...tell me about yourself?
so, i had a dream last night that started with me going to party-like thing with a girl (who i assumed was my gf in the dream) and there were different stages of the party with different themes and music. we went through the first two stages dancing and having fun then...
Status: "Sometimes We Have To Sacrifice Our Own Feelings For Someone Else’s Not Because You’ve Given Up But Because You’ve Realized That Sometimes Things Just Aren’t Meant To Be."
Stupid Thoughts of the Night:
do i tell her that i was falling in love with her? no.
do i tell her that i keep replaying that kiss in my mind over and over? no.
do i tell her that i cried myself to sleep because of her? no.
do i tell her that i always think about her? no.
it's been awhile since i posted and i felt like posting something that i posted last night on tumblr.
it’s about 11pm. i’m sitting here listening to Peaches by: New Heights, which has become my ‘thinking’/calming song.
i’ve been pretty much trying to keep myself busy these past weeks, it doesn’t help that my car has been out of service for the past 3 days and won’t get fixed until hopefully…tuesday. i’m not sure yet.
but i’ve been in a state of ‘bleh’.
let me be honest, it does involve a girl, but it also involves me changing as a person.
ahhh, back into the korean drama/movie phase...again!
for the past 4 night i've either watched a movie or part of a show.
-Baby and Me
-A Millionaire's First Love
-100 Days with Mr. Arrogant
-2 Faces of my Girlfriend
and i started watching for the 2ND TIME! lol
-i'm sorry, i love you.
ahhh...back into it again lol
haha, damn it sounds so fattystatus. lol.
so, i've been home since about 3pm.
i've been in and out of sleep from then til 8.
people kept texting me about something going on tomorrow.
i'm in a really grouchy mood -__-
i had a headache the whole day and my teeth hurt.
and to make it worse...
and me, i hate being confused.
i really do 'cause it drives me crazy.
not literally but it just makes it hard.
so, it's 11:57 pm.
i haven't been on here since July.
like, i've been on but read others posts and my older ones.
i feel like i've lost touch with those i've befriended here.
i'll be honest tho and say that i've been distracted.
i barely even go on facebook anymore.
it's like the first thing i do after i come home from work is,
turn on the computer and go onto tumblr.
ah, so sad.
well i felt sad that when i cut my hair, oasis was down :(
so i didn't get to post it and then i got busy and bleh.
but yeah...i cut my hair about a month ago.
damn it doesn't seem that long but it has.
but,,this is what happened tonight;
so...i decided to,,
...buzz my sides shorter = bad idea.
...cut my mohawk a little shorter = another bad idea.
...fix my mistakes = another another bad idea.
what did i learn from this?
-stick to the pros and only trimming hair haha XD
i'm really needing a week or two vacation from work.
but i don't want to stay here in the isles.
i want to venture out (for the first time) to the mainland.
but IDK where to go.
i'm thinking CALI :)
ya know SFO...check out the GLBT scene there.
thats all i can think of...
anyone else have any ideas?
i feel so lost...but determined.
this isn't about a relationship. a job. or something so outrageous and spontaneous.
this is about me getting (or trying to) back into writing.
a friend of mine has been pushing me to get back into writing because back in our sophomore class of health/guidance, everyone knew thats what i wanted to do and i wrote all the time back then.
but i stopped.
and i was reminded of it when me and him got back into contact and he's been pushing me back into what i wanted to do.
it's just that...i'm stuck.
idk what to write about and i'm scared. honestly scared.
writing was my outlet.
so. i haven't been on in...awhile.
been busy or just too tired.
but hey...i got a tumblr :)
add me; iamdifferent.tumblr.com
i got a new piercing...yay :)
its just another lip piercing...completing my 'spiderbites' :D
here's a pic :
*who wants the perfect girl? not me. i don’t want anyone perfect. i don’t want anyone normal, that’s just boring.
it's APRIL...10 days after lmao.
so late. but it's okay. it's me.
well...i like how my blog is about my 808 life, when lately...i haven't been having a life :(
school. work. home.
to and from.
sad. but it's whatevers and becoming a routine.
i hate routines!
i can't blame anyone but myself tho.
the love of my life, pepito...died out about a week ago.
he is my 1990 Honda Civic DX Hatchback.
the only (car) man in my life besides those who are real people (lol).
it may sound weird that i gave my car a gender, especially a name.