im 21 tommorow. i think it's at this point that i should say...i hope i don't wake up on the ninth...perhaps...and thereafter.
ok i really just have to share this with someone coz...last night was like the hottest night ever and i didn't even have sex! meow... i warn you this might get slightly gaphic.
lesbians...don't bother reading this...it's gay porn....pretty much.
ok talking seriously now.
who wants to have an ugly baby with me?? i want a hedious little fucker....i'm thinking deformed...hairy....weird sounding and evil.
not even a fucking kiss last night...soooo annoying! and i even put my catholic schoolboy charm (and tie) on to get him all heated. he's just too fucking rich i tell you! rich people...sheesh! much better being with poor people.
im 21 in three days :( i dunno why i'm so worried about this birthday...
so on my little dating site i decided it was time for a makeover of my profile..so i took some photos of myself and wrote something new on my profile about me and what i'm looking for yada yada. anyway i thought..my pictures are just not sexy enough...every guy out there is showing himself wearing almost or entirely nothing at all....so why the fuck not me right?
DORA MUST DIE!!!!!!!!
i feel like maybe it's time i had sex again...it's been over a month and my ding dong is going all heat-seeking missile on me. i'm going out with a guy on a date tonight...never thought i'd be in a situation where i DON'T want to go out on a date....it's just too fucking hard...and i just have this feeling i'll be stranded in his city tonight...and of course he wont drive me home...which annoyes me coz i know he's rich even if he wont say it...plus i'll get like NO action from him, i'll be lucky if he kisses me tonight.
blind man walks into a fish market "hellooooo ladies!"
im turning 21 in four days...any idea how depressing that is? i really ought be having constant sex with a beautiful wonderful man about my age...instead i'm doing laundry for my grandmother.
I've come to the conclusion that i'm the dumbest human to have ever existed....but im refusing to admit that to myself....on account that i have to...before and after everything else...live with myself, which sucks...but it's not my choice.
anyways and doodles...
...no actually that's it.
it's my birthday in five days....for my birthday...i want a boyfriend...chocolate cake and lots of champagne....NOW MAKE IT HAPPEN BITCHES!
I HAVE HAD A BRAIN EXPLOSION!!!!!
didly fuck! i love ned flanders he's so hot! i'd like to do all sorts of nastythings with his sexy yellow.....
i sneezed.....it was awesome.
i skip too many classes....i really should feel very guilty....but then...it's not my fault my teachers all bore the fuck outta me now is it? and in painting...i mean...who the fuck wants to paint the corner of a white room? huh? who!?
fuck didly fuck! and for four hours! you try painting the corner of a white room for four hours! every fucking week! for months!
so...im thinking blue eyes is altogether out of the picture...which sucks like...a lot. meow? meow!
i'll try and get over it without hurting myself this time...yay!
got quite a nice pick for the next one...this one guy who wants to fuck before we meet (his words not mine) and another one who just came out of the closet..so yay.
i'm getting a haircut today...i'ts not overdue, my hair is quite short...but damnit i want it to be shorter....what if i shaved it al off? would i look like a penis?
I FINALLY DID IT! MY GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT YET!!!!!!!! I BOUGHT A JOCKSTRAP! WOHO FOR ME!
and i'm glad i did coz frankly it looks sooo fucking hot...all i need now is a man...a lucky lucky mother fucker of a man. and a place to put it where my grandmother wont find it...she'll probably come to me and say "where is the rest of this sonny?"