I kind of want to write a journal entry because it has been a while since I have written one. But I have lots of stuff going on right now so i'm not really sure what I would actually like to write about. Maybe a braod overview will do for the moment.
Basically last week I hit absolute stress breaking point with my college work. I sought some career counselling advice and advice from various parties. So I am hoping I can salvage something from the project that is destroying my life(I may be a tad dramatic) but thats how it has been feeling.
College stresses me to the point that I cannot really breath. This has not been a good academic year. Help me!!!!!!!!!!!
There is a girl in my lgbt society that I have a huge crush on. I am not sure how she feels about me. It is all very confusing. I always feel really awkward and have trouble speaking to her. It's like everytime I have seen her and been like a complete tard, I give up hope that anything might happen. But then some random small thing happens that changes my opinion and gives me hope again.
I wrote the poem below the other night. I think I freaked myself out it was so dark.but i thought i'd post it anyways
i am an open wound,
i am a severed wrist,
i am what you never saw coming,
i am your greatest test.
i don't know what you are,
i don't know who you will be,
i never sought to destroy you,
that was you not me.
Somebody please smack me and tell me to cop onto life. thanks.
This week seems to be slipping away from me, and I am letting it. I have so much college work to get through before I go back. But I don't really want to do it. I know I should have it done, but it feels like part of me has given up on the whole college thing. I don't want to have given up, it just seems that I have also come to the realisation that I may have choosen the wrong course.
One of my friends is annoying me so much! He is a good friend and I love him to bits, but he is seriously crowding me. I think I am just really noticing it this week. He has called me up and text me so much in the last few days that it is driving me a little crazy. I probably wouldn't care so much had his last message not being about the fact that he just told his mother that I am gay.
Bonjour Oasians!! I mentioned in my last journal entry that I had a little crush on a girl. Well the term little was an understatement. It is a huge crush that is consuming me and making me too awkward to communicate with her. I have however managed to make a tiny bit of contact with her in the past week, after much convincing from my good friend, we will call him Sam.
I am very glad that I wrote my last journal entry, to find out if I was too old to be hanging out here. Thanks guys for your responses. I feel welcome and reassured that it is ok to still be on here.
I've been thinking since reading Ruby's journal a few days ago about being too old for Oasis, that perhaps I have gotten too old to be on here. I guess the site does say for queer and questioning youth. I'm not really questioning any more or a youth, since I am 23. I am still queer however.
I seem to post a lot of negative stuff on here about my life, especially the last few days I was feeling fairly shitty.
My Christmas day did suck a lot. I didn't really want to post a miserable Christmas journal, but I have been venting to my friend all day and I still don't feel better. He now had to leave so I guess I will continue the vent here.
I've said it before and I'll say it again.... Happy Christmas you gays =]
I've been frantically typing a report for college for about a week now. It was one of the greatest reliefs of my life to hand it over today. The first semester of 3rd year has come to an end...well except for my exams after Christmas.But lets not think about them for the moment.
I've been meaning to write a journal for a few days now, but once I finish working on assignments I haven't wanted to go near a computer. I have been feeling a lot better since my last journal. I went along to see the counsellor. I had my first visit there last week. It was a strange experience to go into a room with a total stranger and pour my heart out.