When I was thirteen
I knew myself to be a fag.
But I wasn’t a fag.
I wasn’t fruity.
I just happened to like men.
It was just a phase.
When I was fourteen
I had a crush on my friend
But I wasn’t a fag.
It was just a phase.
When I was fifteen
I knew that everybody else
And I was right.
I was the only one with any proof.
When I was sixteen
I feared that somebody would
See through my disguise
And tell my secret.
One person knew.
She kept my secret.
When I was seventeen
I stopped believing in God
God came to me in a dream and said,
“Hey Greg, have you ever realized
that only crazy people are blessed with visions of me?”
I said, “Why, yes God, that is true, if only for the fact
That the people you choose to contact fail to realize that
Your presence is but a dream.” I said as several pink
flamingos flew by my head.
God expressed a great, booming laugh, “That is why I have come
to you, my child. I wish for you to partake in everyday deeds and relish in
the triviality of it.”
I pondered aloud, “God told me to buy some groceries.”
That's how long I've been a member of Oasis, though I was a guest long before I ever signed up. When I was sixteen I was afraid of what would happen if people saw that I was a member of a website like Oasis. I didn't want people to know that I was gay. Even so, Oasis was a site that allowed me to read the rants, raves and encouragement of other people like me. After I was done gaining courage from Oasis' users I would quickly delete my history and do something else.
So, it's exam week and I have nothing to do tomorrow. As such, I am drinking an icy margarita and watching Dawn of the Dead, which always delivers on the lulz.
In the past few weeks I have been feeling lost. I have to move back home this summer after two years of relative independence (that is, living at college). Last summer I was able to fund an apartment but this summer I don't even know if I have a job as of yet.
The greatest threat to human existence is human existence.
The very idea of man vs. man being the great conflict of life is ridiculous, right? Shouldn't the conflict be something like man vs. bear? I mean, yeah, bears will fucking eat you! Man should be working together to kill the bears!
That point aside, I lost faith in humanity today when I watched some Fox News clips on YouTube. From those clips I gathered that the top three things affecting our freedom today are non-believers (of Christianity, that is), gun control laws and the homosexual agenda.
So, over the weekend my boyfriend told me that he stopped loving me a few months ago.
I'm glad that love for some people can last as long as six months.
He broke up with me on Friday. I wanted to leave for home on Thursday but he asked me to wait because he had something "super important" to tell me. When I asked him if it was anything bad he said, "No, all is well."
I agreed to stay at school for an extra day instead of going home... so he could break up with me.
Fuck my life. Fuck everything. Jesus Christ, flaming blood orgy in hell.
I need to ramble about everything on my mind right now, so bear with me.
My boyfriend and I patched everything up. We've been through a lot in the past year and I'm glad that we're on good terms again. It was pretty rocky for a while.
Unfortunately, he just moved to Sandusky. It's only an hour away but with school, work and art commission I have no time to see him and even less money to pay for the gas to get up there (my car is quite the guzzler). He just got hired as an area supervisor at a roller coaster theme park and he's there setting up for the upcoming season.
For the love of God.
Okay, I went to my friend's place tonight to have some fruity beverages and watch some vampire movies. I thought, "Oh, hell yes, bring on the Bram and Rice."
They watched Twilight and The Vampire Diaries, which may be the worst movies on the face of the planet.
I was so horribly disappointed. And they don't even have good taste in fruity drinks! I ended up drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade and Watermelon Smirnoff Ice.
I figured, hey, vampires and alcohol = Bloody Mary, Cosmopolitan and Blaquila (theater blood and tequila). What else, right?
I believe that I have bitched about this on here before but there's a new twist to my annoyance.
Net speak is a huge indicator of the fact that a large amount of people under the age of twenty-five are complete morons. The English language is being devalued and instead of just talking to eachother teens opt out for texting.
Poor grammar annoys the shit out of me. Unnecessary acronyms annoy me. Net speak in general annoys the fuck out of me. Something else has popped up on my list of related annoyances. Nothing is more annoying than when people vocalize net speak.
Arm the frontlines,
Text all of your friends,
The parade is here
To preach a little bit of contrition.
All we have is a sad rock star with a loaded gun
And I can’t find the grace to care
That we are in the infancy of a revolution.
For the deepest pit of morality
I find myself in grace with the enemy.
The children painted gold,
Unable to afford a gun
but able to sharpen a stick.
Have you ever been so comfortable with yourself and your sexuality that when someone responds negatively to the fact that you're gay that you're utterly blindsided?
Wheww, that was a brain full.
I started dating my boyfriend David last May and everything seemed so smooth and perfect. When we got together was like something out of a Lifetime movie. We walked on the beach (granted it was off of Lake Erie at Cedar Point, but still), I told him that I wanted to be with him and he told me that he felt the same way. We went on dates, had tons of fun and we had a great balance of enjoying one another's company and being able to joke around and have fun.
I went to Windsor this weekend and had a grand old time at the Casino and the bars.
My friends and I went up on Friday, hit the penny slots and bar hopped all over the area. My favorite club was a place called the Boom Boom Room, which has a very electro-punk-gothic vibe to it. I bought a cosmo and sex on the beach there and hung out in a secluded corner adorned with fuzzy couches and thick curtains.
Who says that you’re going to hell?
In a world of hate and lies and greed
Why should it be you who goes to hell?
There’s no blood on your hands,
No lies upon your lips…
Why then, my sweet David,
Would it be you who goes to hell?
Have you eaten shellfish?
Have you lain with a man?
Have you worn cross manufactured clothing?
Did you not beat your slave?
.. did you forget to ritualistically slaughter a goat?
Then, yeah, you’re pretty much fucked.