underdarkness's picture


Lately I've felt trapped inside.

I feel as if I cannot tell my friends or family anything about me.
First, my family doesn't know about my sexuality because they're all ignorant conservative Christians who seem to think that being gay is one of the worst things you can be. Better off dead than gay
Second, my friends get pissed at me whenever I bring up my sexuality because they are uncomfortable with it. Some of my friends are really cool about it, but I don't hang out with them that often.

underdarkness's picture

Why I Believe

Breathe, you cannot help me breathe
nor can you guide my way
for you’re holding a disguised gasp.
I only need a reason to believe
where in love told, I dare not speak
to those who scream this name allowed;
a name I cannot speak myself.

It’s a resentful memory
of the skies lost to reality.
I seek time away from heaven
and inside my mind I dare…

And oh, the rampant lies of old
and yet, anew, these lies will tell.

How old were you when you lost your virginity?

15 or younger
14% (7 votes)
12% (6 votes)
4% (2 votes)
20 or older
2% (1 vote)
I'm still a virgin
67% (33 votes)
Total votes: 49
underdarkness's picture

Chemical Boy

It’s a desolate wasteland;
the world I cling on to.
It’s burned on the outside
and poisoned on the inside.
Still, he’s the one I reach out to
when I go out too far.

I know you don’t understand, but let me rise over,
Chemical Boy, you are burning out my heart again.
I’m feeling so low, so bring me up again.
Chemical Boy, you are breaking me apart.

I know I love you
but it can’t go away.

underdarkness's picture

Stand for Me

As I stand for what I believe
the truth remains, still clouded.
With hearts inside closed tightly
we’ll take to the streets, still crowded.
For all I wish and all I dream
to live where all is unscarred,
the dream is gone where I still stand
to all of those in high regard.

To the high regard, do ask
what lies in this you truly know?
What hidden truths fall behind
to the truth they daren’t show.

Is porn bad?

6% (4 votes)
44% (32 votes)
No, but I don't look at it
26% (19 votes)
Yes, but I still look at it
15% (11 votes)
other (please specify in comments)
8% (6 votes)
Total votes: 72
underdarkness's picture

Heart Divide

This is where the game begins,
where hell is found and your hate grins.
If only they knew all I had to say,
yet, instead they stare and at this said display.

How little it matters to all I believe,
though I am defined by how they all grieve.
They figure me sad, unhappy for this,
yet my sorrow is bred when I'm denied I exist.

Oh, disturbed mind of a fitful child,
I see hell in your eyes, the flame never burns mild.

What do you consider virginity?

No vaginal.
0% (0 votes)
No anal.
0% (0 votes)
No oral.
5% (3 votes)
No sexual contact.
42% (25 votes)
Oral is okay, anal/vaginal is loss of virginity.
39% (23 votes)
Other (please specify in comments)
14% (8 votes)
Total votes: 59
underdarkness's picture


I kissed my friend! His name is Jake and he's really cute. But that's not the point... he's the first guy I'veEVER kissed.

I never understood why people liked kissing so much before, since I was thoroughly disgusted when I had kissed girls, but... wow... WOW!

underdarkness's picture

Lost the Debate

http://www.oasismag.com/node/view/19833 (debate link)

I spoke in class today and told my side of the case. The other side stated that it is an absolute and indeniable fact that homosexuality is a choice. I was blocked out and the entire class laughed at me. They said I was too biased to argue the point and the other side won.

Their argument stated that marriage is between a man and a woman only and we have to follow traditional laws. My points were much more sound than theirs. In fact, I had many credible sources. I was laughed off the podium.

underdarkness's picture

Debate for school

The gay rights movement is not only necessary, but is vital to the preservation of American morality, as we know it. I'm sure all of you have heard a lot about gay rights lately. At the top of the priority list is gay marriage. Today I will speak to you about why same-sex marriage needs to be legalized, gay marriage compared to straight marriage, gay couples with children and traditional arguments of anti-gay activists.

What are you most attracted to in terms of physicality?

Skinny guys/girls.
35% (18 votes)
Husky guys/girls.
20% (10 votes)
Chubby guys/girls.
4% (2 votes)
No preference.
24% (12 votes)
18% (9 votes)
Total votes: 51
underdarkness's picture


Vanished and fallen
to the end of these days
as my cup fills over
my thoughts are a phase.
Without the embrace
I wish to enclose
my message is harder
than the story of those.

For grace above all
I try to end my thoughts
pulsing, in which
my heart feels at fault.
Shaken and stilted
as the follower’s word
while my whisper is hushed,
my message unheard.

Claim hate in my labor
with hate while you stray,

underdarkness's picture


Before the curse upon your eyes
witness where my body lies.
Not in earth, but in the soul,
where to rest, the heart I stole.
Above the lights and to the ground
a broken cross where I’ll be found.
The roses, hung upside down to dry
will be your passage as the end dies nigh.
Alone, I’ll be a ghost through troubled youth
until you learn the present truth.

And I’ll be gone,
forever gone,

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