I lie on the ground,
and stare into space,
the stars start to move,
into the shape of your face.
I see you there now,
looking down at me,
with that cute little smile,
that I like to see.
You say "close your eyes",
"tell me what you see",
I see only two people,
just you and me.
We're walking the shoreline,
with our feet getting wet,
the horizon turns pink,
as the sun starts to set.
last night my family and i were watching charlie and the chocolate factory on DVD. I was chatting the whoel way through the movie and i said ' god johhny looks gay in this flick!' and my 8 year old sister repeated what i said 'johnny looks gay jonhny looks gay' and my mums like "lisa-maree dont say g-a-y around your sister thats stereotyping, your always goping on about gay rights and now your stereotyping. DONT DO IT!" i said "yes mum" my sister go's 'whats gay mean?' and my mum glances at me then at my dad as if to say whos gonna say it?' so mumma finaly spoke up 'Gay is when you like somebody who is a girl or when yopur a girl, same with guys.' and then she added 'but being gay is not a bad thing'
yay i just got home from netball, great game! We lost by one hoop... But it was fun, i blocked so many passes! It felt great but i got really distracted REALLY easily becoz
1. My dad was watching me and he has never watched me play netball befor. (wow)
2. I was wearing non athletic shoes so i kept slipping over on the wet courts....
3. Monica was umpiring a game right next to mine.
4. Right befor my game i was talking with my mum and somebodys arm went around my waste and hugd me, it was the arm of an angel, monicas, so i had the thought of tha in my mind ... oh dear!
Wow she takes my breath away. I was a bit nervose about going into my theropys class today coz monica was standing witht his group of girls also in her year and they started looking at me weirdly and i hearsd one of them whisper lesbian to monica, to i quickly looked away. I sat out of class and just watched everyone else do body combat and thai chi or sum junk, i kept looking at monica in the mirror and she was watching me the whole ime too, it was weird then after class i was rolling up my mat and saw her coming over so i started roling it up from the start (to take extra long) and wow she started talking to me the first thing she said was ' you know you have really pretty eyes lise!' and i was like *turning red* 'ohhh umm thanks?!' then we talkd about what we did on our weekend and she wated for me to put my shoes on and we stayed in the empty room for about 5 minutes blue eyes locking with blue. Just talking about everything! She umpires netbll when i play and this weekend the team she umpires is playing my team and she made me promise ild win the game for HER. she go's 'So lise this saturday its the swans VS Gems, Please can you win it for me? if you do we can go out to the movies after...' *cheaky grin* i was like 'oh sure only if you insist!'
Okay school today, it went well! It was.... fun! Firstly my friend Rachel (tottal hottie, used to crush on her)well Rachel, at recess sat on green gum and it was sooo noticeable! so i had to hold her around the waste real close to me untill we got to the bathrooms where we picked most of the gum of her shirt but realised it was on her pnts n coz she couldnt see in the mirror i had to scratch it off for her lol. It looked so odd coz we were both in the one toilet and shes facing the wall and im scratchingat stuff on her but! Every girl who sore us looked at us weird n laughed... oh it was fuuuunnnny!
i asked my mom if we had any history of gay people in our family and sh said 'mo'. So brave me approached my grandma with the question. 'No.' So either their lyeing or im just the odd one in the family! Wow i feal special to be the first!!!
So actually comeing to terms with 'oh my god im a lesbian - bisexual more in favour of girls' is actually kind of weird. I fell asleep last night and unlocked parts of my memory. It kind of makes scence why i am who i am today. I FORGOT ABOUT KEIRA! When i was born my mummas best friend gave birth to her baby girl 3 days after me, we were boh premi, we practiacly grew up together untill the age of 7. And the strangest thing is we made a vow never to stop talking to each other. I remember we used to kiss n hold hands under a tree at our all girls school lol oh dear. So maybe iv had it in me this hole time, maybe i was born with this gayitis. What ever it is, however i got it, im sure glad i did!
M lifes preity cool. I cant tell friends about my thing for girls \, theyll put me on a stake lol *term of speach* Mmmmm. I have had many best friends though in fact im dateing my current best friend. Shes thje greatest she askd me out. And went bright red coz i thought I was straight! so i went n jumped in the shower (this is 3am mind you) then came out at 3:45, and tiold her that i didnt care that she was a lesbian (coz she was all quiet i did the talking)
These are the lyrics to the song for my life. It is my soundtrack, my motto. It's sung by delta goodrem, very insperational, i suggest you download it, not only is she a babe but shes got a great voice too! oh and did i mention she gives the best hugs and is AUSSIE! BEST HUGS? GO TO DELTA!! SHE'LL GIVE YOU ONE... OR FIVE!
Momma your the best! mommy your the best too! i love my momma! You gotta love yours too! hehe momma, mommy, thank-you!
if only i could tel my momma!
Okay I missed my 8:30 bus because I could not find my Nike sports shoes! Well now I’ve found them and they’re sitting comfortably on my feat! But I have to wait for the 9:30am bus so I basically have 1 hour! I rang my mom to let her know!
A phew things want to say; im on a coming out role! I was having an argument with my 13-year-old homophobic brother; anyhow he’s in a really bad mood. Little shit. Ha ha. e so he was calling me a slut and I called him an asshole so I started calling me nasty names so I shouted over him “ shouting all words NATHAN don’t you realize that to be a slut you have to sleep around, don’t you realize that calling me a lesbian doesn’t affect me becoz I AM! ‘ oh Bahahaha you should have scene the look on his face he was horrified. (I WON WITH THE TRUTH!!!)
Do you know what it's like to hide your fealings all day everyday? I DO. Do you know what it's like to be in love and not be able to speak a word of it to a soul? I DO. Why do i hide these fealings i feal? BECOZ YOUR SCARED OF THEIR REACTIONS. Why do i cry myself to sleep at lw
east 5 times a week? BECOZ YOUR WEAK. Why must i look into those eyes and think 'cant you be like me?' BECOZ YOU WONT TALK TO HER. Why cant i face the day and admit it? WHY WOULD I KNOW.
haha so i just told my mate scott im a lesbain well bisexual and he took 30 mins to reply and this is what he wrote.. oh dear i love him very much his such a dill!
Here we are
Dear old friends
You and i drunk again
laughs have been had
tears have been shed
maybe the whisky has gone to my head
but if i were gay
i would give you my heart
and if i were gay
you'd be my work of art
I'm rackin my brain
trying to comprehend
how, for some unknown reason, our status will remain as friends
I'm destroying my mind
trying to understand how with little to no effort
you've got me eating out of the palms of your hands
There was not a single spark
when my lips landed on yours in the dark,
but regardless of what happens next
you're my beloved, you just don't know it yet
Tonight I made a secret oath