The more I see of you, the more I wonder
What is friendship really?
Is passing by your friend
Is it getting what you want
No matter if it would hurt any other?
Is it skipping along to the music of your whims?
Not caring who your feet stamp on
It makes me wonder
I thought it was just how you are
But then as time went on
I watched you with others
And I don’t see you do those things
this might seem petty to some, but its serious to
i don't understand people. what i mean by people is jessica aka jessi aka jc. i don't know if i could call her my best friend or even a friend anymore. i used to call her my sister. we met in 1st grade. we were both the freaks. i couldn't go down stairs and wore big plastic leg braces. jess had huge buck teeth and wasn't one of the most well off in terms of money. we spent all our free time together. we were also in the same class in 2nd grade. we used to chase the 1st grade boys around saying we'd kiss them and give them cooties. in 3rd grade, i went to a private school, but we stayed close. that is, until 6th grade, which was my last year in private school. this girl diana moved to jess's street. she and jess became friends. and then all of a sudden, jess didn't really have time for me. diana always went over to jess's house cuz they're neighbors and i lived about a 10 minute drive away. 7th grade, i went back to public school. so jess and i were in the same school again, but was always with diana. we ended up not spending much time together. i made new friends who helped get my ass in a shitload of trouble and stabbed me in the back. then i met annie, which in the long run, saved my fucking life. in 8th grade, annie, jess, and i were all in chorus as a class and then made it into select women's ensamble. we had fun during our weekly practices and on our trips. we went to hershey park to a compition and select women's got first place in our catagory. it was great. best thing- diana wasnt in chorus. freshman year, jess started walking to school with diana. they both joined anime club. she had no time for me. luckily annie was there and we became closer than ever. but jess continued to ditch me. she'd tell me she was sick and couldn't hang out, then i'd see her walking down the street with diana and shit like that sophmore year i was in red rock. annie wrote me 2 times a month roughly and jess barely ever. i came back and junior year she made some time for me.
i turned 18 the other month. i remember thinking when i was 14 that my life would be perfect if i was only 18. i would be able to conquer anything. here i am. i'm 18. and i couldn't feel more powerless if i tried. i still haven't gotten my permit cuz i haven't been able to get a ride to the dmv. i dont have a job because i cant drive myself to and from. i'm bound in this house every night unless one of my fantastic friends is willing to haul me out of here.