utter_insanity's picture

Lonely and Secretive

Right now all your friends are pairing off
You think, “Oh yeah? Well that’s just tough.
I don’t care about this crap.
I’ll do anything else before I resort to that."
But you still feel sad and you wonder why
As you stare up into the night sky
Nobody of the choices given you
Lives up to the standards that you view
You don’t know why you have to be so picky
You just know that “he’s not for me”

utter_insanity's picture

Stupid Crush

We face hardships
We are ultimately rejected
Simply because of who we are
We cannot help being this way
It’s simply what we were born to be
And we cannot change this
No matter how disgusted you are
Your beliefs are so very very far
From the truth about us
I did not choose to be this way
I’d wish away these feelings if I could

But I cannot

This ache will not pass
I’ve tried so hard to deny this

utter_insanity's picture

I feel like it's National Coming Out Week

I came out to my mom yesterday while we were doing laundry. She took it well, and saw an opportunity to
lecture me about how we don't need to label our sexualities, which she did. Honestly, you know if my mom's
okay with something if she takes the opportunity to educate you the best she can about it. I was kind of
disappointed she was so indifferent about it, but I guess I should be grateful that she didn't freak out or

When did you realize you were gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender?

age 10 or younger
14% (5 votes)
age 11-14
57% (20 votes)
age 15-18
23% (8 votes)
age 19-29
6% (2 votes)
age 30 or older
0% (0 votes)
Total votes: 35
utter_insanity's picture

Hey, let's all play Dissect-A-Cover!!

Last night I started looking at my mom's corny romance novels she's always reading. I don't know how I know they're corny, since I've only tried reading one of them before. I hate them. On the back you always read about the same kinds of plots: "guy meets girl, guy pursues girl", "guy meets girl from his past, tries to seduce her", "girl meets guy, guy wants her, but she has a terrible secret". On one of the covers of the books I saw this guy who I guess is supposed to be attractive. I mean, he has that "sexy smirk" thing going on and all of that. But all I could think was, "Jeez, that guy needs to shave!" But I could tell he's supposed to be attractive, and my mom would probably have asked me, "Isn't he hot?"

utter_insanity's picture

Ah, the lovely torture

Well, I've been feeling depressed lately. I keep wondering about my sexuality, whether I'm really a lesbian
or not, whether I should tell my parents or family, etcetera etcetera. Argh. I just had this sob session in
my room where I cried while listening to Melissa Etheridge. This is insane. I wish I had someone else who's
gay outside of the Internet who I could talk to. And I do--my gay grandmother is coming to visit tomorrow.

utter_insanity's picture

Staying up past midnight

Ugh, this is embarrassing. I really need to get to bed. I've been on my mom's laptop half the day browsing
this web site and making as many comments as possible. It's just so awesome to find a web site where I can
actually talk to gay teens who are going through the same things as me, instead of some link that redirects
me to some page about gay sex. I mean, I appreciate the fact that there are a lot of websites out there to

utter_insanity's picture

Day in the Rain

(Note: This is actually a song, but I couldn't find any other topics that this belongs in. I'm not really
confident about it, considering it's extremely long and kind of redundant, but I'm posting it anyway, so
there. :p)

Is something wrong with me?
Why am I not breathing?
You leave
And my lungs draw in air in relief
A cold feeling settles into my heart
Because I've always known from the start

utter_insanity's picture

What is it WITH lousy nicknames??

Have you ever noticed how many slang words there are for gays and lesbians out there?? It's insulting! A lot
of them sound like another nasty word or something!! Here are my thoughts of some of them:

Faggot- Don't get me started on this one. It sounds disgusting, like "maggot."

Dyke- My younger sister made the oh-so-innocent observation that this word sounds like "dick". And she's
right! Honestly, it's awful. I hate the stereotype that gay men are feminine and that lesbians are

utter_insanity's picture

Umm...hi

Well, I'm a new member on OasisMag (obviously) so I guess I should just say "hi" to everybody and try and
make some friends here.

I am fairly young, since I'm in middle school still, and I've recently realized that I'm a lesbian and I
want to be able to talk to and connect with other gay teens, so I signed up on here. I'm a female comic book
geek (and proud of it), and I've never found any stereotypes that really fit me. I like to read a lot, yet

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