Falling stars, million wishes
He just sighs, he can’t think
All those wishes, none is his
The sky cries and he sinks
Music’s loud but he’s numb
He can’t feel all those words
Rueful lyrics he once sang
They don’t touch him, he’s gone
Yep he’s gone, gone to where?
Closes eyes, ears and hands
What’s this place? He can’t tell
All he knows is he’s done
Hey, remember me?
I’m back. I came back from my holiday yesterday and I’m here…
How have you all been? I’ve been good. Really. I had my moments of sorrow, but nothing like before I left. Holiday is always fun and refreshing, so… Now I’m (almost) ready to start studying cause on Monday the exams begin. Sucks. A lot.
So, what do I wanna talk to you about?
How about how my holiday was?
I’m leaving today at night, finally, so I just wanna say to all you, have a nice month! I probably won’t be able to log in a lot, unless I find an internet café over there. But it’s ok, I’m gonna have fun. No need to worry about me, when I’m on vacation depression doesn’t get to me. So, I’ll talk to you all in September! Till then, take care!!
“Please, just go
So, I told my mom I wanna go to a therapist. She asked me why I think I need it and I told her I’ve been feeling not so good lately and I’ve been having trouble with things I don’t feel comfortable talking about with her or someone else for that matter. So, she agreed that once we come back from our holiday we’ll find one. There’s a friend of hers who’s a psychologist and she suggested him but I said “no
I’m fading away
My colours are bleeding
I wish that you cared
Instead you’re just leaving
The air is thick
I can’t breathe
I will die
Help me out
I can’t die
Please come save me
I need somebody to like SLAP me rite now. I really need to snap out of it. A few hours ago, I was commenting on 808Chik’s journal entry, rambling about how we shouldn’t give up and yet here I am taking the fall.
I’m listening to depressing music again and I’m having forbidden thoughts. Razorblades and bleeding wrists, pills and water… I’m actually considering this for the first time. Yeah, I’ve thought of this before but I was like “yeah, but I won’t
The ashes of my love
This love was burnt by pain
But it was pure and true
The wind just blows the ashes
And they all lead to you
It always hurts me
But I hide the tears inside
It hurts that you forget me
I know I'll never have you
You're on the other side
Yesterday night I was in the mood for a rant, but it was too late to tun on my pc, so I just let it be. Today, I’m not that into it, I just… brood, which seems to be the case since Evangeline left for her holiday and I was left alone here. I’ll stay one more week in Athens and then I’m going away too. Corfu, here I come! Damn it, I’d prefer Mykonos (you can guess why, it’s the gay greek island) but no… I’m gonna go with Lilah next year, though. Can’t wait.
Well, today I’m not in the mood for writing a poem or a journal entry, so I’ll just express myself using some lyrics.
“Now I know what I’m not, I still don’t know what I am…
Messy God, I am your child
And I’m calling you from hell
I don’t think that You will listen
but I have a tale to tell
I’m a gay guy, do You hate me?
Do You really care that much?
Does it matter that You made me
and I can’t change what I am?
Do You really think You’re perfect?
Please just take a look around
This disorder’s Your creation
Do you think You’re perfect now?
There’s this garden called “Safe Here
I’m… Ok, maybe this is too soon to say what I am. Besides, you already know. I know you do.
I’m Billy. I’m 18. I have an older brother, 25. I have black, really black hair and deep blue eyes. People say that blue eyes reveal wisdom. Maybe it’s true, if wisdom comes with over-thinking. I don’t have a problem with my body, like most teens do. I’m not anorexic, I’m not bulimic. I’m not fat. I don’t exercise anymore because I’m really asthmatic but I have a well-shaped body. I have a baby face, no beard at all, no matter how hard I try. People say I’m really cute. I wanna believe them but I’m not sure I do. They also say I look like Adam Levine from “Maroon 5
I feel kinda empty today, like there’s something missing. And of course I know what that is: a certain someone in my life.
I want a boyfriend. I need a boyfriend. Maybe George, maybe someone as good enough as George. But it don’t matter anyway, because I don’t know how to find one. I’m not out to anyone but Lilah (my best friend), so I can’t exactly go and hit on guys.
I just watched “Heights
I just had the perfect day.
Evangeline, Faith (two friends of mine, Faith is the girl I kinda like) and I had it planned for days. We started at Faith’s house early in the morning (9.00!), ate breakfast, hung out, had a pillow-fight… It was one of these kodak moments, the three of us (the only ones from the gang who have not left for their holiday yet) throwing pillows at each other, laughing, the neighbours watching us from the window as the girls were falling on me on the bed until I begged them to let me go…