*inspired by this quote: "Love is not moral or immoral. It just is," from City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare.*
Firewood crackles in your eyes,
glowing like a pretty little swearword.
And I ask where you came from, lover;
from the aging spring moon or
the shipyards outside of town
where we found each other
that first night when your
hands were cold around my waist and
my breaths were coming out
in impatient gasps of poetic escapism
as you kissed me under
the street lamp pretense
of wanting to head on home?
Are we just a little too far gone,
lost in a swirl of colorful smoke
Well life has been getting a tad bit better. My parents finally let me redecorate my room, which is now plastered in posters of Harry Potter & the Hunger Games. I've also started adminning on a bunch of fan pages on Facebook. I like making fanart, it turns out. My name is Luna Malfoy, check me out!
So today was the start of another year of high school. In other words, dismissing my mother's vague notions of *moving*, I'm taking this year to really and officially come out as trans. Whopee.
I believe I passed fairly well- the people who had never met me before, i. e. students and new teachers, automatically used male pronouns and were rather suprised to see my birth name and an 'F' on the seating chart. Most readily accepted calling me Jay. People who had met me previously, however, definitely still recognised me and weren't wiling to let it slide so easily.
-Love isn't supposed to hurt. The way we humans love one another is flawed and we create the hurt.
-I said goodbye to a friend over dinner a few days ago. We went to the same restaurant we used to go to every Monday. She's left for Minnesota and I feel absolutely nothing.
-The past hurts to think about. There are people I miss and memories I want to relive, but the future is looking fantastic.
I'm sleepy, I'm trying to fix my girlfriends laptop. It's 3 weeks to holidays! I've so much work to do. I should probably be sleeping right now. I'm writing this journal to try pass the time while I wait for Ubuntu to install.
I've run out of stuff to say now. Life is extremely mundane but also extremely nice right now.
This performance is well worth your time... believe me!
Sometimes I feel like I'm doing the wrong degree. I'm currently studying a conjoint law and arts degree. I wish I was doing engineering and commerce. Or science. I don't know. Law and arts really aren't that useful when it comes to employment. I'm unsure whether this is me trying to do too many things at once again, but either way, I've closed too many doors to try and reopen them again.
My dad is selling his house. He's also disowned my brother.
Headed offline for a week of beach reading, see ya on the flip side.
This morning, my 72-yo grandmother charged in and demanded I Get Out Of Bed! I wanted to know what she was doing in my room and when she would leave. She sat down and claimed she was staying until I stopped thinking of myself. Did she WANT to come wake me up? Of course not! But here I was, making it all about me.
MY LIFE IS LIKE:
eating hot soup on a 100 degree days, where
when deciding to fool and or play
with the elements
I foolishly get ahead of myself
and climb into a cannon made from gold,
jewels and other materials defined as wealth
my target: a tree-less field
because i love to drown myself by the blaze
of a burning hot star
& where i regret
that bag of sodium filled chips
ive liberally devoured because im totally far from being a coward(of salt that is) making me toooooooooooooo dehydrated
and so now i have
a perfectly good reason
as to why i shouldnt even bother
I were but little happy if I could say how much.
Meaning, reason I've been away is that life's been good!
OK so I'm on FB right now and I'm messaging with my crush Annika about writing depressing scripts & it's amazing!!! I thought I had scared her off when I mentioned that my favorite poem was about the writer's own execution but she totally got it. And now it's after midnight & we're just talking about therapeutic writing and I even sent her a draft of the script that I wrote...oh well she has to go now but STILL. We've talked for like 1/2 an hour. I thought I was over her but now...oh my gawd. It's like she's just getting more perfect.
How do I? Even begin to do this. Alright. My name is Jay. Some people would dispute that. I'm a teenage transdude with a lot of opinions about nearly everything. The Internet is my homeland, and I'm surprisingly capable of maintaining friendships.
I'm intensely into science of all sorts, especially medical science (gENETICS??? NEURO!?!?!?!). My goal is to someday become a neurosurgeon, because I find consciousness beautiful, I want to help people, and I want to stick my hands into people's skulls.
We had to put my oldest cat, Buddy, to sleep today. In the past few weeks he's stopped eating and I've had to watch him slowly wither away into a skeleton. We took him to the vet and we were told it was a thyroid problem, but the medication prescribed for thyroid issues didn't restore his appetite like it should have. I think it was something more than that. He got to a point where he couldn't even get up and walk he was so weak.