Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

an actual journal entry that involves no pretentious poetry posing huzzaaaaah

Dear Diary:

Last night I got high as hell. It felt very, very good, and quieted the screams down nicely. They're back now that I'm sober, of course, but I had a beautifully quiet night, with nary a nightmare to be found. Speaking of screams, ZeeBoy wants me to name them (collectively, I suppose) Rachel. I suppose Rachel is the name Legion took when they transitioned?


DarkestValley's picture

Promises for 2014

Short, Sweet & Snappy.

1. Pass ALL subjects at uni. (Going to work my ass off, owe it to MYSELF.)

2. Get abs for Europe in June.

3. Stay tanned.

Mogul's picture

Messy head, messy life.

I have so many things to say, but I don't know like where to start, everything in my head is a big mess right now, and being sleepy doesn't help at all.

angel syndrome's picture

sorry for my soul

maybe we could get married under a streetlight in heaven & see if all the angels in heaven will burn when we kiss, but i'd fall in and out of love with you before the traffic light changed colors: tonight i kneeled before my bed and said our father in french and said thank you for everything and please keep helping it's 2:03am and i'm alone again, i know i wanted this, i didn't want to be the one he couldn't keep warm anymore and i'm sorry for still being so cold

swimmerguy's picture

There is currently 1 user online: swimmerguy

It's kind of interesting:
I asked my parents for a goPro for Christmas, it was my only real gift. I don't know why I wanted one. I'm not really one of those people always posting videos of their exploits to see if they can't get a tiny round of thumbs-up applause.

I guess I had some sort of weird idea: I thought about the things I'd so much like to do when I grow up. I have so many weird and remote isolated mountains on my bucket list.

anarchist's picture

I need someone to make me feel better

The GM-Hope-MasterForce-Thief-polystyrenegenerator-gman urged me to meet him at a specific location today, and then was absent. It seemed that he had disappeared for the rest of the day without warning, leaving me to burn out the lights of the sunless corner of sublime elusiveness with no foam trayholder.The only times I even got to talk to him were either really short or he was talking to a bunch of other people and we didn't even have a real conversation. Why he didn't give me any warning is a mystery, but what a fucking way to end the week.

anarchist's picture

The pimple of a pub's pet dragon.

Conversations with Gman always put me in an unmanageably good mood when I get home, and I don't know what to do when I'm this happy but also this bored.

Super Duck's picture

At this rate, a quarter-life crisis is imminent.

February started off all wrong. One day about three weeks ago, Cute Blonde Girl and I went to a coffee place off campus, and everything was fine until I left. She stayed behind to catch up on a little bit of homework, but on my way back, I just... I don't know, I totally lost it. Out of nowhere. I don't even know where it came from, or what it was, but I just had this ridiculous freakout. Sobbing uncontrollably on the street and everything. It wasn't her fault or anything, I didn't even talk to her (or much of anyone else except a call home for my sister's birthday) for several days afterwards. After the week was up, I started to ease back into my normal life, but now, even weeks later, everything is just so horribly wrong.

I'm 19--turning 20 this year, even--and I honestly feel far more awkward and uncomfortable with myself than I did at 15. (God, just typing "turning 20 this year" made my stomach lurch. At least I have until November.)

DarkestValley's picture

The conclusion of my realtionship and my last post on Jake.

Perhaps from the beginning it was destined to fail; He was a drug dealer and I was a church-goer.

However I believe for me or anyone to label him as a bad person as the cause of the failure of a relationship would indeed be a misconception as it simply it is untrue. Jake is an amazing person.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

my homeland

the homeland?
i know it well
the wastes take up most of it
and the fissures
split the lands
into canyons and cliffs

in my homeland once i pushed a man
into the fissures
i wanted his man and so
i decided to remove him
i learned to regret
i loved him
he was a friend
and he died by my hand

the homeland is not real
the homeland is not fantasy
the homeland is broken
the homeland is twisted

i cannot stay for long in my homeland
for even the pleasant moments
are soon perverted
and become dark

in my homeland i have seen children forced to dance
by a shadow

lonewolf678's picture

Valentine's Day: South Town.

I woke up that morning unusually active. I found myself finished with some studies earlier. The Weather Channel promised a very nice and bright day, yes, that day I put on my finest flower-print overshirt. I had decided I'd been studying quite a bit the past few weeks and with no plans for the day I chose to buy myself a gift.

anarchist's picture

Way Out West

Where are you?
My river explorer
The navigator of those deepest lonely waters
Take me with you
On our shining raft
For with hope and blind mirage
I see only you
In bent
Blue gray

swimmerguy's picture

O Freunde, nicht diese Töne!

1. Shit. Today, while I was busy making pizzas at work, these girls came in. And if I was straight, I guess these are the girls such straight young guys as the hypothetical me is supposed to be massively attracted to. They didn't have much money, but wanted to order a pizza. After wrangling over whether they could afford a ranch cup (only 55 cents, but overpriced for that) I told them "I can give you 2 dollars off that pizza, there's a special going on, so special it's only for you."

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

a tiny journal once more in poemish style with an actual poem why do i write these? god knows good night

scalp scalp
it's a nice night
the pall over my mind
is almost gone
i feel happy

I am with my love
one more night
and then one sleep
shall be without
his parents are here
he does not like that
he does not like
to have to be someone else
he does not like
to be a gender he is not

i love him
I want him to be happy
nothing feels better
than the warmth of his body
against my back as I write
His warmth feels special
unlike the other warmth
of other men
it has a feeling
a smell? maybe that's the word
i don't know
but it is unique

a quiet mouth

anarchist's picture

Late Early

I am in a terrible mood for some reason. There was a tornado warning at school, so we stayed in the hall for about half an hour past the scheduled dismissal time, with no power. And I didn't know anyone there well enough to have an enjoyable conversation, so I was bored and lonely. The entire time, I was just wondering where You-Know-Who was. Then, I had to endure the torture of watching him walk by later while I had to stay in the bus, which apparently was worse than not seeing him at all.

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