Oasis is back up again. Figure it's easier for me to post something new so you know rather than having to sort it out...
So, this has been one hell of a roller coaster of a week. literally.
Firstly, there was the family drama with the mom and the sister and the moving of things from my dad's house in MT back to Washington, which was a fucking logistical nightmare...three households worth of crap to move in four days, sort through, consign, take to the dump, etc...
Yesterday was our big date. "Texting and scones," and all. A picnic in the Arboretum. With scones.
Also with lots of snogging.
of fantastic snogging.
As she would say - it's cute how words fail her so often even though she's an English major - "So, that's a thing."
'Perpetually single' has been a major part of who I am for so long - in a way this feels kind of unreal... but not really. Maybe that she's not real but I'm not either and we both inhabit almost the same plane of not-reality? I don't know...
I saw two movies recently. Last night I watched a Serbian film called A Serbian Film. It's my new favorite movie. It has a great soundtrack, too.
Today I watched a movie called John Dies at the End. It was how I imagine doing acid would be like. Which is kind of relevant, since I checked out the Silk Road a couple days ago and found some cheap drugs. Now I want to do acid.
I’m starting to wonder if I’m just an outsider by nature, and if that’s ever going to change. I was sort of hanging out with friends today, but I felt kind of invisible because I wasn’t participating in the conversation. I’m just really introverted and live in my head a lot. If I could just get the hang of finding some common interests and carrying conversations. Unfortunately, this made me think of Beth, because I could always talk to Beth about anything so easily.
After watching what Chase and Jake did I was equally disgusted and curious about what I had seen. It was really all I could think about sometimes, and it bothered me.
What troubled me even more was sneaking peeks at the magazine hidden under Chase's mattress, seeing the biggest penis I had ever seen deeply stuck in the other guy and the expression on his face. I couldn't decide if it was a look of pain or pleasure, but I know Chase and Jake seemed to like what was happening. As disgusted as I was it was something I needed to try.
I've had an eventful past couple of weeks, I suppose. Guess whose last day of high school is May 8th!? MINE! And only Tuesday day is a full day. Monday is a half day, and Wednesday is like one class only. Graduation isn't until the week after next, but my last day of actual classes is the 8th. After that, there's only the AP English exam. And now I don't have to go into school until 10 a.m. because my dual enrollment class ended. It doesn't feel like this is actually happening to me, you know?
I'm auditioning for Oliver! My mom found out that the local professional theatre is putting it on and auditions are really soon. All I have to do is learn one of the songs they provided and I could get the role of my dreams, the Artful Dodger! (Or the young female lead, the "rude yet flirtatious" Charlotte)
I've decided to go with Dodger's "Consider Yourself." My strength is belting, and the song is perfect for my range. I REALLY hope that I get the role. It would make my memories of this year much better. Plus, it could start me on the road to being the next Ethel Merman!
It's been way too long since I've been one here and I want to update things!
Last year I applied to a really good private school here, knowing that it was a long shot for me to get in. Really my mom did the applying but it was my friend Michael who made the suggestion. He goes there and his dad wrote a letter of recommendation for me. We also applied for financial aid, which we knew would also be a long shot.
We were told that the selections would be made in March, and we would hear by May 1st if I got in or not. It's been a tense wait!
This time I want to write about how I found out that Jake and Chase weren't exactly straight. My last journal was real tough to write, but I think this one will be easier.
Chase met Jake when third grade started and I think they were best friends from the moment they met. Jake was popular and outgoing, a great athlete and a good student, and a good person. We sat by each other on the school bus, and after school we were around each other when we could.
Until I remember that the universe is indifferent to the trivialities of mere mortals like myself. P.S: Buckle up. This is gonna be a long journal.
I came out of the closet to a friend, Robert. I almost chickened out, but he said “Bullshit, tell me what’s bothering you”. It was great! He said he didn’t care, and asked if I wanted to know some pick up lines. I asked him not to tell anybody, and he said he wouldn’t. Of course he asked some questions, like how do I know if I haven’t date anybody and who do I see myself marrying. Then he asked if I liked anybody, and before I said anything he guessed from my face that I do. He tried to guess a few names, and then I just told him Beth.
So me and this boy called Matthew have been speaking for a few months now; see Matthew is bisexual like me and its like hes me in another life because he goes through everything I go/have gone through!
Ive not made a journal entry in quiet a while so i have a lot of updating to do!
Let me start by saying Im a 14 year old boy and im bisexual, A few month ago i would of choked on those words but now im much more comfortable with myself although Im still learning about my sexuality I can deal with it better because of my personal acceptence.
Hmm yeah so I was just getting ready to make a whiny scary journal entry about gendershit and this girl I met and how gendershit gets in the way of stuff
she just asked me out
and yeah words are not doing well with me right now so 'bye. Back elsetime with more stuff yeah.