anarchist's picture

I wish today would finally be over.

It's been a rough day. The weekend sucked, because it was the last weekend before the end of school, and I was nervous about barely seeing anyone for the next couple of months. When I finally saw yk, his girlfriend decided to skip and sit at lunch with him. So I was pretty much ignored, which I wasn't in the mood for, so I left school and just walked down a road for a while. That led me to some farm that I apparently wasn't welcome to, and ended up being asked too many questions by the police, and driven back to school.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

A vision in white

Sweet sigils of heaven take me to my rest and I smoke and sing and I am awake for a time; sweet and gold and silent are they, and I a queen of Eden: stinging snow is falling on my skin and slowly I fall, not screaming but murmuring some soft refrain of a song long forgotten in a language never spoken- a king unveiled as queen and a poet unveiled as king: long live the gods of poetry and inspiration, the bezerkers and skalds pledge themselves to Odin both (not sleeping but waking and drinking of mead); chanting an anthem of surreal worlds visited only by the honored dead: this anthem is my song

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

Nightmares and visions

Nightmares and visions inform the waking world. Children know it. A dream and a nightmare are synonymous for the child and psychonaut, images of sworling madness, the snares of hell, and the trappings of heaven and earth are all one, kings an gods and children are one. Nightmares and visions are the artist's wellspring and greatest desire. Ask a poet or artist which they desire and they will ask for a nightmare, not a dream. Sweet nothings and candy hearts are the domain of the soul nonetheless and can destroy and create an artist.

DestinyB.'s picture

I'm a big girl now...?

So guess who decided she could work two jobs and be a full time student? If you said anyone other than me, you got that extremely easy question wrong..... Who else would my extremely selfish ass be talking about?

Anywho...I'm one week into school and I don't have one book. How horrible is that? So i'm already behind and the semester just started. But the PJ's gig isn't so bad, I make decent money there and I get to see cute guys just about every day. Not regular cute doe...my warped version of it, according to people who know me.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

excuses- a poem about a bad person

i burnt her
because she would not love me
i mourned her
because she would not love me
if the fire was wrong
then why did god let me do it?
if the fire was wrong
then she should have loved me
i burnt them
because they laughed at me
yes i burnt them
and now i am the laughter
if the fire was wrong
why did god let me do it?
if the fire was wrong
then they should have praised me
i razed the city
because it was in my way
i tore it to pieces
because it made me feel whole
and if the killing was wrong
why did god let me do it?
if the killing was wrong

anarchist's picture

journal title

More time has been spent with yk again. The school staff member who always made me leave his lunch has finally been pushed by my persistence to the point where he no longer cares and is letting me hang out at the class I'm supposed to be at during my lunch period instead; this is a double win for me, because I also didn't have anything to do that period. With the seniors gone, my entire lunch table is empty and I had nothing to do that period but wander the school and its surrounding area, which gets incredibly boring.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

more light (science fiction maybe? you tell me)

and god looked upon the world as it was and said 'more light'

'more light for those who cannot see past their own noses'
'more light for those who have aught but the dark'
'more light for those who are afraid'
'more light for those who are ignorant'

and god looked upon the world as it could be and saw that it was good

and god saw the people who could not look beyond themselves
and god saw those who had aught but the dark
and god saw those who were afraid
and god saw those who were ignorant

and god flayed their flesh from their bones and their bones into dust were burned

radiosilence95's picture

Dread

Sometimes I get this feeling of dread. It usually creeps up on me when I'm alone or bored, when everyone's out and I have all my coursework done. When it comes, I don't feel like doing anything. I can't make myself watch YouTube videos or read Cosmos or text people or anything. I just cycle through my tabs mindlessly, not even really processing anything I'm looking at. It passes after awhile, but it comes back every few days or so.

I dread that Mickala will leave me, that things just won't work out between us and I'll be left alone.

the ghost's picture

ranty mc ranterpants

Searching for somewhere new to live is torture. That is all. Being a grown up sucks! (Sometimes)

anarchist's picture

feeling like shit feels like shit

I've been listening to new music for the whole weekend so far, and ended up listening to over 20 new albums so far in the last two to three days. And in the process, I finally listened to 69 Love Songs by The Magnetic Fields and it gave me some magnetic feels. If you want to feel like shit, listen to this:

Uncertain's picture

My boyfriend just told me his best friend raped him

What do I do

anarchist's picture

Title field is required.

It seems like even when I'm in a good mood relative to usual, I'm still in a pretty bad mood. Even good emotions have some unhappy undertone, and I just feel kind of shitty even when I don't care about anything. It isn't even about anything in particular right now, I'm just not a happy person for some reason. Today was the last day of school for seniors, so about half my friends are gone now, and the rest of the school year will be really fucking boring.

lonewolf678's picture

Pipevine Swallowtail

A few days ago I had to turn in some papers for my college stuff and I was really annoyed by that. Walking back home I noticed a huge caterpillar on a fence and proceeded to put it on my briefcase and take it home to see if I could take care of it.

swimmerguy's picture

streamofconsciousness

I put this on facebook, but was actually pretty impressed with it. So here goes:

"When I was a younger kid than I am now, I always wondered why adults seemed content to walk all over the place. I wanted to run. Running was faster. Why not?
But then again, as a kid, there was a lot I didn't understand. There always seemed to be those secrets kept from me: drinking, sex, all those phrases and words I couldn't understand. Adults always seemed to be keeping almost everything from me. They were, and much of it for good reasons.

anarchist's picture

some stuff

i'm in a pretty bad mood today, and also pretty bored waiting for my sister to take me to the music store (to get a thumb pick and a new tuner), a combination which has led to me being here and writing a new journal.

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