When I stare at a mirror in an empty room,
I see her staring back at me.
When I sit alone with only a piano as my companion,
I hear him playing back to me...
Well, I just had a lovely evening with a friend from high school. She's someone who I've always gotten along with, and whom I went to prom with (as friends, with 2 other girls). I wouldn't be suprised if she were gay; I've NEVER known her to date guys (well...anyone for that matter). Prior to tonight's "date", I was excited, and wondered if there might be a possiblity of something between us. (forget the fact that she doesn't know about me, and I have no clue about her). Let's just say there there's definitely nothing happening between us. It was totally just my wishful thinking and desire for a girlfriend warping my memories of my relationship with this friend. *sigh* oh well...
I want to say something. I'm not sure what. I'm disappointed I guess. I have been told to learn not to expect things from people. Or rather,not to expect people to be better than what they are.
leisa82: i dont know why it bothers and disappoints me so much the way that people act and treat eachother on oasis
anonymous: It is irksome- but nothing can be done
leisa82: unfortunately so
leisa82: and for me its a rampant thing
Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Caught up in circles confusion
Is nothing new
Flashback warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcases of memories,
Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you've said
Then you say go slow
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
It's important to be proud of who you are, and what you've earned. It doesn't mean that you don't have things to learn. It means that you've accomplished something you find personally meaningful. If you can't take pride in that, what can you take pride in?
I have finally made a lifelong goal feasible. It doesn't mean I know everything -- although I do know my spelling. It just means that I've been successful. That I've learned to work hard and well.
Why People Lose My Respect
Lack of Common Sense
i have far too much to do. i have a podiatrist appointment tomorrow at 1:45 so i have to leave school early, and then right after that appointment i have to go to my soccer game.
whats keeping me going? my sweettasting bed. and my souldecision cd.
I have never been to San Fransico (let alone CA) before and here I am. All alone and queer as they come. I come from a small town in NH(when I told this to a person I met they asked me, where is Nh?) and I feel as though I have come through a door to a land of palm trees and openess. The first billboard I saw said "closets are for coats". This made me sooo happy! I have known I was gay sence I was 10 and only came out to my family and friends when my grrrlfriend and I decided we would(Sometime after collage) get married.
Me and my little imaginary friends are here! Lol...I know I'm weird, but that's my charm. I got an imaginary friend named Leperchaun, and guess what...he's a leperchaun. Any whoo...
MY info (I'm new, so an introduction is in order!)
Name~ Ceslie Monique
Nicknames~ Wild Child, Cesy, and Button (only by my brothers! Don't ask why, it's an embarrassing story.)
Status~ Single, and questioning (I'm not sure about the whole bi-sexual thing)
i'm just confoosed. (yes i purposely spelled that wrong. long story) anywho... i always thought i was straight. completely and totally. but now i like one of my girlfriends, and definitely not in the sisterly type of like. it's more the if-we-were-alone-i-would-totally-jump-on-you-right-now type of like. and i know she's bi. (this is a frequent topic of conversation). yet i also still like my guy friend. and the weird thing for me is that if she said she had the same feelings for me i would be all over her in a hot second. and i can't talk to any of my friends about stuff like this. the only friend i have who is like me is her. and no matter what gender, it's always hard to say you have a crush on a person.
(I'm trying this, but I won't be on until tomorrow)
March 10, 2003
~Well, Rachael had a denist app. this morning so she didn't ride the bus. Joey told me she had been crying because Josh, Daniel and me had been ignoring her. And today when I saw her and was going to talk to her, she ignored me, so I'm pissed. Things were so much easier when we were just friends.
~Jonathan and Tim both came to me, seperately of course, and told me they might be bi, and not to tell anyone.
ah this whole thing is doing my head in. basically i'm seeinng this guy, but over the last couple of months i've been starting to think quite a lot about this girl i know. shes pretty much amazing, she beautiful shes funny we get on well, and shes bisexual. we've always flirted with each other, and then last friday we were flirting pretty heavily, an the next thing i knwo we're kissing. this repeats several times, then we went back to her flat an spent the night drinking and talking. nothing else happened, but theres such an edge between us, its prety clear we both wana screw each others brains out. thing is she's 8 years older than me, also sorta seein someone tho its not a big deal, and im pretty certain my best friend wil desert me if she found out. yeah so you think its not a big deal, two girl kiss, pretty normal, i want it to be more than that, i want to be with her really badly. on the other hand i gota conisder what my friends will do, and the guy im seeing, i love him to bits but id end it if i knew i coudl be with her. ha how teen magazine do i sound.