I'm back, back to the world of the internet, electronic mail and blogs, flame wars, information and news whenever I ask for it. The lights flicker once again in front of my face and I realize it's all consuming power.

I really should get out more.

Thanks to the few of you who responded to my last blog, written at oh...1 am, a few nights ago. I am feeling better...

The First and Last Time (A poem about HPV)

Simple are your kisses that fall upon my face
Gentle are your hands...warm is your embrace
Magical this evening
That I share with you
I am so unprepared
Not knowing what you will do
Careful are your words
You whisper in my ear
Telling me to touch you
Telling me not to fear
Your hands run over me like water
I am unsure what to feel
I kiss you back though I am scared

Helpful suggestion: build your vocabulary.

I'm working on creating an educational panel at school, where a bunch of people are qualified to speak about GLBT issues...

I met Whit's boyfriend today.

I really have to say that I'm glad to be finally somewhat involved in his love life. Before, we didn't have that. I guess the fact that I'll be going away for college kind of resonates in our minds for our friendship. Or maybe the kid is growing up or something. Maybe I am.

He's going to be one of the first people I kidnap to spend a weekend with me in the dorms.

Does anyone even understand what the hell is up with the terms carpet muncher and fudge packer... honestly. Those terms just piss me off. I mean, we can reclaim terms like fag and dyke. But who wants to reclaim the other two, and honestly who came up with them. I'm sorry this post isn't really well thought out, but these terms have just been bothering me and I want to know other people's thoughts on them or anything really. I don't have much of an adgenda with this one, except why? And what the hell? Put downs can be so moronic, and then they just become even more moronic. It's really phenomenal.

::laughter dying down into humming noises:: Hmmmmm... mmmhmmmhmmm... Oh, that was just enjoyable... hmmmhmmm...

Well, as I was waiting for my school to finally close this evening, I decided to browse through the XY personals, and I don't think that I've had this much fun laughing and crying because of my empathy for people since... well... since that MTV's "Made" this morning about the football player who wanted to be an opera singer and had absolutely NO sense of pitch, let alone ANY talent for singing. (I admired him for trying, but I thought it was ridiculous that the people kept telling him he was so good when he still needed a LOT of work. I mean, they gave him "Aura Lee" as his piece. "AURA LEE"? That's an audition piece for a regional choir! That's singing basics. "Aura Lee"... Wow, I was so embarassed for him I was laughing and tearing up and making a scene. It was very intense for me.)

And no, this is not photocopying of poRn...JB....

I went to a party on Saturday night. While I was gone, my mother, by stealth, found my diary and stories I

Well then, there we are.. finally ..

So today, I come to work, and find myself presented with a brand new corner cube. nice eh? and all it took was a trailor trash hoochie to sexually harass me and fuck up my old work station. nice. why can't I be sexually Harassed by attractive men?

I am also recovering nicely from the Testicle slashing incident. which from now on will be refered to as "section E" which Jules has coined it.

Well, last week I returned to Woody's for the first time in a few months. I've lost a little weight since the last time and I donned a new shirt that made me look even thinner, so I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. I mean, I'm not hideous; surely someone would find me attractive enough to dance with me, and I was in the mood for some fun.

My friends and I decided to go at the last minute; the night actually started as a gay bowling night, but after an hour of some really bad bowling we decided that we should go somewhere that was more suited to our strengths. We packed my car with two of my girl friends (one a lesbian, one straight), a girl and guy from the gay union whom I didn't know very well before then, and me. After a good amount of time listening to various bad club songs and me singing along to Cher (whom I LOVE because she sings in my range), we finally started seeing the city in the distance. That was when I sort of freaked because I've never driven in the city before, but with the help of my friends and the fact that there were almost no cars on the roads because it was late on a Wednesday night, we finally maneuvered to a parking garage and got out. Then we did the usual "take only what you need: license, " discard thing, and we left the car to walk to the club in the bitter cold without jackets because we weren't sure if there was a coat check or not. The streets were very different from the way they were in October. There were no cute boy couples walking with their arms around each other or groups of guys laughing loudly and greeting the friends they ran into on thre street; the streets were very empty right up to the club. We finally got there, paid, and entered.

snow day, snow day, Linds doesn't have French today...

I think about Chris intermittently through the day, but I mostly think of him at night before I close my eyes and try to sleep in earnest. I don