anarchist's picture

the reason I feel like shit

Driving classes started today, so I'll have to start going to a room filled with terrible people to sit for three hours without being allowed to do anything. Those fucking annoying normal people make me feel uncomfortable and it sucks having to look at their douchey faces. At least there are two good people who I know, so that's nice. It gives me a reason to walk outside, too.

Beau's picture

Pizza With Dad

Almost a week after Mother's Day my dad had the talk with me that my brother Michael had mentioned would be happening, but they way his did it made for a good time.

Right around dinner time a pizza was delivered and instead of eating in our house we ate in my bedroom above the garage. That was my first hint that dad really wanted to talk to me, the second hint was that my mom wasn't there. She was out showing a property and would stop somewhere to eat.

elph's picture

Posting… just because it's so inspiring!

An 11-year-old Australian boy (extremely good-looker… agreed?) writes to the Prime Minister wanting to know why he opposes recognition in Australia of his mom's gay marriage (actually, she and spouse were obliged to travel to NYC to be married).

I'm also impressed that Orlando's letter was hand-written and in cursive script!

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/gay-marriage/inspired-by-his-mum-11year...

****

Beau's picture

Catching Up & Mother's Day

It's been almost a month since I last posted on here and lots has happened, and I finally can sit down and write again. It feels good to be back on here!

I really want to start by writing about Mother's Day, because what happened really changed me and my family.

anarchist's picture

This isn't pleasant.

Today was yk's last day of school (despite all of my efforts to convince him to go tomorrow), and with him gone and nothing happening in any of my classes, I'll be staying home the next two days as well. Unfortunately, he isn't going to be able to do anything with me for the next two weekends, which means that I won't see him for probably at least three weeks. So I'm going to be even more depressed and lonely. He said we'll make plans via texts, but he rarely ever responds to my texts, so I don't know how well it'll work out.

anarchist's picture

I wish today would finally be over.

It's been a rough day. The weekend sucked, because it was the last weekend before the end of school, and I was nervous about barely seeing anyone for the next couple of months. When I finally saw yk, his girlfriend decided to skip and sit at lunch with him. So I was pretty much ignored, which I wasn't in the mood for, so I left school and just walked down a road for a while. That led me to some farm that I apparently wasn't welcome to, and ended up being asked too many questions by the police, and driven back to school.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

A vision in white

Sweet sigils of heaven take me to my rest and I smoke and sing and I am awake for a time; sweet and gold and silent are they, and I a queen of Eden: stinging snow is falling on my skin and slowly I fall, not screaming but murmuring some soft refrain of a song long forgotten in a language never spoken- a king unveiled as queen and a poet unveiled as king: long live the gods of poetry and inspiration, the bezerkers and skalds pledge themselves to Odin both (not sleeping but waking and drinking of mead); chanting an anthem of surreal worlds visited only by the honored dead: this anthem is my song

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

Nightmares and visions

Nightmares and visions inform the waking world. Children know it. A dream and a nightmare are synonymous for the child and psychonaut, images of sworling madness, the snares of hell, and the trappings of heaven and earth are all one, kings an gods and children are one. Nightmares and visions are the artist's wellspring and greatest desire. Ask a poet or artist which they desire and they will ask for a nightmare, not a dream. Sweet nothings and candy hearts are the domain of the soul nonetheless and can destroy and create an artist.

DestinyB.'s picture

I'm a big girl now...?

So guess who decided she could work two jobs and be a full time student? If you said anyone other than me, you got that extremely easy question wrong..... Who else would my extremely selfish ass be talking about?

Anywho...I'm one week into school and I don't have one book. How horrible is that? So i'm already behind and the semester just started. But the PJ's gig isn't so bad, I make decent money there and I get to see cute guys just about every day. Not regular cute doe...my warped version of it, according to people who know me.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

excuses- a poem about a bad person

i burnt her
because she would not love me
i mourned her
because she would not love me
if the fire was wrong
then why did god let me do it?
if the fire was wrong
then she should have loved me
i burnt them
because they laughed at me
yes i burnt them
and now i am the laughter
if the fire was wrong
why did god let me do it?
if the fire was wrong
then they should have praised me
i razed the city
because it was in my way
i tore it to pieces
because it made me feel whole
and if the killing was wrong
why did god let me do it?
if the killing was wrong

anarchist's picture

journal title

More time has been spent with yk again. The school staff member who always made me leave his lunch has finally been pushed by my persistence to the point where he no longer cares and is letting me hang out at the class I'm supposed to be at during my lunch period instead; this is a double win for me, because I also didn't have anything to do that period. With the seniors gone, my entire lunch table is empty and I had nothing to do that period but wander the school and its surrounding area, which gets incredibly boring.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

more light (science fiction maybe? you tell me)

and god looked upon the world as it was and said 'more light'

'more light for those who cannot see past their own noses'
'more light for those who have aught but the dark'
'more light for those who are afraid'
'more light for those who are ignorant'

and god looked upon the world as it could be and saw that it was good

and god saw the people who could not look beyond themselves
and god saw those who had aught but the dark
and god saw those who were afraid
and god saw those who were ignorant

and god flayed their flesh from their bones and their bones into dust were burned

radiosilence95's picture

Dread

Sometimes I get this feeling of dread. It usually creeps up on me when I'm alone or bored, when everyone's out and I have all my coursework done. When it comes, I don't feel like doing anything. I can't make myself watch YouTube videos or read Cosmos or text people or anything. I just cycle through my tabs mindlessly, not even really processing anything I'm looking at. It passes after awhile, but it comes back every few days or so.

I dread that Mickala will leave me, that things just won't work out between us and I'll be left alone.

the ghost's picture

ranty mc ranterpants

Searching for somewhere new to live is torture. That is all. Being a grown up sucks! (Sometimes)

anarchist's picture

feeling like shit feels like shit

I've been listening to new music for the whole weekend so far, and ended up listening to over 20 new albums so far in the last two to three days. And in the process, I finally listened to 69 Love Songs by The Magnetic Fields and it gave me some magnetic feels. If you want to feel like shit, listen to this:

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