So, I have a presentation later today. It's my first one, so I'm a little nervous, especially because I have to start off. (I picked being the person who starts off, though, because it gave me the easiest portion of the information. I think it was a fair trade.) We had to do a practice-run in front of the TA last night, and that went pretty well, I think. She actually said I did a really good job, except I'm not quite loud enough. I have a really quiet voice. In high school, we had to take a speech class, and I'd always get B's even though the content of my speeches was admittedly better than almost everyone else's because I just couldn't make my voice loud enough. The TA said I was the most prepared person of my group, though, so that was good. I like my group members, even though there's one guy who doesn't really do enough.
For anyone who bookmarks Journals and skips the main page of the site, I wanted to make sure you saw this:
Comment there, please.
About a year ago, I decided that it was time to stop smoking before I did any further damage on my vocal cords. I have always been able to sing decently well, but smoking was destroying that. So, I quit and for the past year, have been focusing on improving my vocal cords so that I may pursue my dream of singing.
Watching Six Feet Under always gets me introspective, so here goes:
I don't really know anyone, nor does anyone know me. I mean, we're born alone and we die alone, but that doesn't mean we have to live alone. I know I've said that before, but it's more true now than it's ever been before.
Danny Heiden sounds like a quite impressive young man. Read about him here in his local newspaper:
I don't care he doesn't have a proper job anymore? I don't care if he deals anymore? I still care he had sex with that prostitute it makes my blood boil every time I think about it, but why don't I care about the other things anymore?
If he got caught then yes I would care. Before I used to wish he got caught, now it would be the most horrible thing ever.
Hi, I'm Ali. I think I might be gay or bisexual. I have absolutely no clue. I've kinda wondered since I was 10, but I mostly just pushed it to the back of my mind. I'm thirteen now, and I think I might have a crush on a girl. If you'd asked me a week ago if I was straight, I probably would have said yes right away, but now i'm really confused about it. I'm half Indian and half American, and was brought up in America. I live in a really accepting neighborhood, but my mom is totally homophobic. I love to write and want to that for a living someday. If I can't do that, I'd like to study physics.
and a long week...And I guess I don't give a fuck what I post on here, since the NSA is checking every post and already knows who I am anyway....
So, it has been a long, long week. like next to no sleep long. Thursday through sunday, I was at rock concerts every night after work.
Thursday, a friend's band played the crocodile café in belltown. I Showed up via bike, hung out til the end, caught the late boat home and then road my bike all the way to the house, like 14 miles @ 2:3o am. fun stuff. then I went to work, did it all over again on Friday.
Show your support for LGBT youth and oppose bullying by wearing purple on Spirit Day! More info here: http://www.glaad.org/spiritday
Slowly descending into insanity
Because I am trying to understand
Saying words I wish I didn't have to say
Which I hoped I could convey anyway
Trying to save you has meant me giving up my virtues so you can flourish
Compromising with your vices
There ought to be some normative morality
I am beginning to lose my conscience
This constant assault on who I am and what is right
Is outright disturbing
Who is the victim
What is the context
Everything is lost amidst the chaos
Frustration festers and its eruption is no catharsis
My life is still a complete mess and everything is confusing me.
I finally got my license, my parents are still afraid to let me drive alone, it's understandable, but last Monday my parents finally did and I was really nervous and it was ok, but there's something weird and it's that when I drive, I mostly space out, get lost inside my head and it takes a while to realize what I'm doing.
Welp, I have some things to share.
First and foremost, this weekend was fantastic. Saturday my suite mate/close friend Kaylie and I made a trip to Chicago for a concert. One considerable dilemma: my car window will not roll up. The mechanism is busted and will cost 250 dollars to fix, and I couldn't get it taken care of in time for the trip, so imagine going 75 on the highway at midnight in October with a window down. Yeah.
It was quiet this weekend because pretty much everyone who lives in the northeast went home for the Columbus Day break. And even though my roommate is from California and therefore couldn't go home, she wasn't here for a while because she went on a little day trip all day Saturday. So I got to do whatever I wanted. I did some exploring on Saturday. Walked around the city a bit. (Well, until it started sprinkling and raining.) That was refreshing. I really like the fact that I can just walk around and look at things now, if that makes any sense. There wasn't anywhere to walk or anything nice to look at in my hometown. Oh, and that girl I accidentally upset is talking to me again, so that's a good thing. I feel really relieved about that because I can't stand it when people are mad at me. It always makes me feel like the world's biggest asshole. And now I don't feel like I should hide from my neighbors anymore like I've been doing for the past week. Very, very relieved.
My conversation with Cute Blonde Girl this morning took an interesting turn. I was telling her about some of my friends, and I mentioned how I have this one friend from high school who is talking to me again after ignoring me for a while. But literally all that friend cares about now is nerdy guys. (Yes, this specifically. They can only be nerdy guys. No other kinds. I guess it's kind of like me with blonde girls.)