I should be sleeping, but I don't have class until 2 tomorrow, and I'm enjoying some alone time while my roommate is out doing god knows what. I've been listening to a lot of full albums lately. My personal favorite right now is Brand New's "Your Favorite Weapon". (Can you guess which song off the album is my favorite?)
I really need to make some friends who aren't on my floor. Well, I guess Cute Blonde Girl counts as my friend by now, sort of? Maybe? Yeah, I'm gonna count her. And she definitely doesn't live here, so let me rephrase that: I really need to make some friends who aren't on my floor and who I'm not attracted to.
My floormates are nice and I like most of them, but I'm around them pretty much 24/7. And several of them are really nosy, which annoys me a lot. Well, except my roommate, thankfully. I like her even though our personalities are vastly different. She's great because she never asks why my alarm goes off at 7 every Sunday or wonders why I change outfits a million times almost every morning or questions me when I'm on the internet laughing at nothing.
Tyler was an ex from February. We dated for a total of about three weeks exactly, but it felt like forever. I really enjoyed his company, up until he ended it for no reason whatsoever. I thought I'd completely erased him... that is until his name popped up on my phone yesterday. I never could bring myself to erase his number, albeit deleting all other forms of our memories (photos, gifts, notes, etc).
We talked a lot yesterday. Almost like February all over again. It was really sweet, and he even told me about how he was sorry about how it all played out, that he wanted me back.
There's really not a whole lot to report. It was harrowing, of course, and I kept not taking opportunities to start the talk, and I undoubtedly would have chickened out if my girlfriend hadn't been there keeping me strong.
It was a big milestone for me and my family, and she didn't really belong there because of that, but I needed her there for strength. She didn't say anything, except when I asked her to help me explain things. Just held my hand for encouragement.
I have to write about something that's a big part of me, well at least my gayness, but I really don't get it. Maybe some of you can help?
I have a gear fetish. I get hard looking (and thinking) about guys in jockstraps-especially with cups-and sports uniforms. And if I can see their underarms...damn that makes me superhard! When that happens, as much as I don't want it to it makes me feel like a freak.
In my last journal I wrote about my family and how I came about, and this time I'm going to discuss my first encounters with racism and my bisexuality. These two topics will be a common theme in what I write here.
There was a dream I had about one year ago, perhaps more fitting, a nightmare. This horrible conjuring had never occurred since then, one year ago. It was enough to frighten me, but at the same time enough to let me forget it and move on, to move on in my dreams and adventures in slumber. Only to have it occur once more.
Last night's dream was pretty confusing. I dreamt that I was best friends with this guy from one of my classes. But I don't even know the guy. I've never even spoken to him, and never really cared much about him, but we just randomly became very good friends in the dream. I know some people on here might jump to conclusions, so I promise it wasn't like gay or anything, it was just an entirely platonic friendship. I don't know why.
than the sheer amazingness of Sean Lew! Have a great weekend!
So it's looking like this weekend, probably Saturday, maybe Sunday, I'm finally going to sit my parents down and have a serious talk about me and gender and transitioning and stuff.
Points to hit:
I'm not Kaitlyn's girlfriend. I'm her boyfriend.
I know you know some of this - the name thing, the hair, the clothes, et cetera - but I've been living more and more as a boy for the past couple of years now. I don't know if you know that I've only used a women's bathroom maybe two or three times in the past two and a half years.
Sometimes far ahead I think,
things will slow and my height will shrink,
when thick lenses weigh down on my nose,
and I'll look at old photos of people in a state of repose.
Moe Loves you. I read all of your stories, don't think that I don't. I'm just very lazy and the only time I feel like commenting is after I tell myself that I must write something. I'm happy to see so many good things in everyone's lives. And to those who aren't having such a great time, keep your head up.
Because I love you. Alright, bye.
Right now the other Rejects and I are working on some new journals, and rewriting some of the ones we had wanted to post because we felt that we could do better. We're nerds and we want what we write to be great, and most of us have the perfection gene ; )
It's also hard to write stuff when you're buried in homework and some of the other things we do, but we'll make it happen.
We really want to thank everyone for the comments they've given us, it feels great to be a part of Oasis!!!!!!
Dante, along with Drew, Noah, and Aaron
This is the real life.
This isn't fantasy.
Caught in a landslide; just can't escape from reality.
Close your eyes, look up to the skies and scream:
I'm just a poor boy! I get no sympathy!
It isn't easy-come, but easy-go,
your doubts are high, your hopes are low:
any way the wind blows, it doesn't really matter to the
Kidnapped the land
Put a gun up to our heads
said "No healthcare or they're dead".
life had just begun
to look a little better; now we say:
What the f*** is with you guys?!
It doesn't seem like there's a day that goes by and I think about little things. A walk to the bus stop itself seems like more of a tradition now, more than a chore. Two years, two years or coming and going from that general area. Walking to I think of what I'll experience, walking back I had no idea I'd experience what I did.
This dream took place during a nap I had earlier.
Television was down. My mother was going to the local satellite headquarters to discuss solving the problem, and I was joining her to provide company at the boring satellite building. When we left the house, it was raining, but it was very sunny out despite the weather. The rain was very clear and soft, but was flooding the world.