So im 14 years old im a boy and i think i am a bisexual.I have more non sexual feelings for women and more sexual feelings for men. For example i would love nothing more than a big house and a wife and kids!But then i have these fantasies about men.ive never actually been in a relationship with a man because to be honest the thought knocks me sick but ive had a few relationships with girls but nothing serious at all.

I was real upset when I was writing my last journal, which I why I stopped midway through what I wanted to write. I'm a bit better now, but what I've gone through the last few weeks isn't something that just goes away I suppose?

When I went to see my grandparents the day after mom and I went back to Minnesota the cold hard reality of my grandfather's condition just hit me as had as the cold winter wind.

He had always been a healthy and active guy, and now he was this emaciated person who bore little resemblance to the man who used to take me fishing and play catch for hours on end.

Tell me, what do you think about when
the debutante moon has lost her charm
and there's nothing on TV to keep you up past 11 o'clock?
Do your eyes glaze over, remembering
how I used to hold your head on my knee and rake my
fingers through your yellow hair, baby?
Does your chest burn like a joint in the night with
the absurd memory of my mouth pressed to your
shadowy abdomen under turquoise plastic stars?
David, it was heaven, making you come undone!
You were dirty and beautiful; a clean-cut
little show choir first date gone wrong.

And I know I said you weren't my type

I got my third college acceptance letter last week, so that was nice. I am not going to that school, though, but I'm still glad I got accepted. I know I'm not going to that one because on Saturday morning, I got a fourth letter. This one was from Boston University. Not only did I get into BU, but I also got their Presidential Scholarship along with an absolutely AMAZING financial aid package. I'm so happy!

i remember when you told me

once or twice, that you left a spot next to you in bed every night

1200 miles (well it’s actually 1267, you’d chime in) away

and yet you kept a space there

in case I, sleepily, crept into your arms in the midst of the night

to sleep

breathe

rest with you

now it is i, 1200 miles away

who leaves a spot for you every sleepless night

my bed’s not big enough for your 6’2” body

and definitely not your dick,

i’d say, like always, ever-the-immature-one

and we’d laugh just like before, your childlike giggle

Where are you? Your voice
has escaped from me and
I worry that when I
look inside my heart
and call for you,
you will not
hear.

You are missing from me,
and sometimes loving
you is like hearing
they found a dead
child on the news,
only they don't
announce the
name.

So I stay afire, after dark, waiting
for your voice on the telephone
and ink marks forming
letters on hospital
stationary.

I just want to open the doors
to all the haunted houses
inside you and say
"I'm home."

(http://youtu.be/s1tAYmMjLdY ♡)

The day that I wrote my last journal entry I handed in my science class project, and two poster presentation on the fermentation of grains to make alcohol. It took me two weeks to make and I thought it was a good effort by me.

Wow was I wrong!

On Monday my teacher told me she needed to talk to me, which surprised me a bit because I'm a good student in her class, and I'm never in trouble.

"Riley, you're project is not appropriate for your grade level or age. You'll have a week to turn in another "acceptable" one or you'll be given a zero for the assignment."

I just wrote, costumed, casted, filmed, and edited a movie in 72 hours. And that's over the course of three school nights.
Why, you might ask? I'll tell you why. Because my Mythological Figures composition presentation is going to be the standard by which all Mythological Figures composition presentation Mythological Figures composition presentations are graded. It is going to be the presentation that Mr. fucking Richards is going to talk about for the rest of his life. And it is going to get an indisputable A.

Hello everyone *waves enthusiastically*
(^_^ I just spelled enthusiastically correctly!!)

Anyway I haven't been to this site in a long time, I used to go by Meldiseus but this is a new account, and a lot of things have changed since then.

I'm in college, studying to be an actor, and have a wonderful bunch of friends. I'm out to my mom, 6 people, and I know that if I want to I could come out to my friends cause they're mostly people who know about the LGBT to some extent and get pissed at people who aren't understanding.

This gay teen's very moving story of initial family rejection and ultimate salvation appears in today's Reno News & Review. His is just one of many other personal stories contributed by teens for the full article; but his is the only one telling of his family's rejection... but followed with love and acceptance expressed by an understanding grandparent!:

http://www.newsreview.com/reno/teen-issue/content?oid=9359026

I have taken the liberty of extracting his story below...

Today is March 20th and today is also the day that my boyfriend has left for rehab for the next four and something months. I am not sure how to feel right now, because I miss him dearly already, I miss his hands and his mouth and his voice that says 'I love you' and 'You are the world to me'. I am sad that he is missing from me. But he is safe, and love is winning, and for this, I am blessed. The last words he said to me as he left were 'you saved my life'.

I had my thirteenth birthday last week, but now that I'm "officially" a teenager I don't feel any different. Except that I'm no longer able to call myself a 'tween, and I'm thankful that's over! In some cultures I'd be considered a man now but I don't belong to one of those cultures : (

My Dads threw a really cool birthday party for me, but it was a bittersweet occasion for me. It will be the last time that my best friend Austin and I will get to be together for what may be a long time, and it was hard for me to hold my emotions back so I didn't.

I've discovered my new favorite visual artist! He's called David Burdeny, and these are some great examples of his work:

I've been getting a lot of extra hours at work lately, which is good. Twenty-three hours this past week, nineteen of which were during the weekend. I like to gripe about it but really it's good for me. When I'm working my mind is only focused on the tasks at hand. It's a distraction. A greasy way to kill time, if you will. Plus the money is nice to have, although I don't particularly yearn for tons of cash. Good news is I can buy books and put more in my pathetically small savings account.

Not!!!