swimmerguy's picture

Liar, liar, everything's on fire

Boy, I'm never sure what does it. Today was just the most depressing day. It didn't have to be, I was just unhappy the whole time.

I was so fucking pathetic I went to 7 11 and bought a large bag of gummi worms and, FUCK, ate them all. I, like, never do that.
It sucks, because my usual method to deal with stress is actually much better: drinking. I drink for much of the same reasons I ride my bike and walk and, all too often, just pace my room: it helps me focus.

lonewolf678's picture

Well Then

Apparently my body's been giving me a lot of clues and messages. And I'm ready for love, so I guess that means this Summer is going to be a really good one. I'll probably try the bar scene, see if anything becomes of it, maybe the club scene, ugh clubs lol. Anyone have any tips on starting a conversation with a stranger? I've like to hear it!

Uncertain's picture

Goals

I am going to set myself some goals which I will set and revisit in two weeks:
- No more alcohol
- No more caffeine (except tea)
- At most two cigarettes a day
- Avoid going to town, as this usually means breaking all three of the former
- Do not let friends and my boyfriend from pressuring me from doing any of the above
- Repay my overdraft in two weeks
- After my overdraft is repaid, save for gym membership for the next two weeks
- Go for a run every morning, starting after my major assignments are completed
- Sleep before 11.00pm each night
- Wake up before 7.30am each morning

anarchist's picture

All of my thoughts

Today was a strange day. I didn't get to see much of YK because the karma police friendblocked me. I usually skip class to sit at his lunch, because that's the only way we get to spend any time together at all. But this one fucking guy who works for the school keeps telling me to go to class, and today it seems like he's actually noticed that I don't go to class. So I guess I don't get any more YK.

ShowMeLove's picture

So that show Faking It...

These people. On the internet. Getting so angry over stuff I will never understand. Okay, so you may or may not have heard about this show called Faking It that is currently airing on MTV. Well, it's about two friends who are wrongly assumed and outed as a lesbian couple and once they are outed they become super popular and so they decide to go along with the lie because, well, they are teens and at least the one girl really wants to be popular and accepted. That isn't the end though.

Beau's picture

The Debate Debacle

On Monday in debate class I read what was essentially an edited version of my last journal (The Gay Athlete's Anguish), adding a part about the fear of changing and showering with a gay teammate to replace any personal references, along with a part about how Americans are becoming more accepting of gays, except when it comes to sports.

When I finished there was silence. I mean I could hear the clock on the wall behind me ticking. Or was that my heartbeat?

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

Eine Kleine Knollenfäulemusik (Trigger warning; rape)

So. I had a charming flashback yesterday.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

The Forest Primeval (a poem that doesn't really satisfy me but here it is anyways)

Woman of broken glass, thus I declare myself; God as my witness.
Always I wish to see she who is kindly and decent and loving,
Yet I see still there is part of me staring at mirrors and seeing
someone who takes what she wants and does not look back; lies and abandons,
nary a care for the screams and the shrieks that are sounding so loudly.
Such is the life of a woman who stares at a mirror and sees a
maze of a thousand truths, faces, and voices obscuring her own truth.
This is the forest primeval! The deafening tones of the voices
screaming at me for the crimes that are indistinct in the twilight, so
shrouding my mind and destroying the things that I thought I once knew as
True and eternal; how foolish! How naive I was! I see now.
Woman of broken glass: thus I resign myself, God as my witness.

chrislesibaebae's picture

puzzled

so i had an aukward encounter with someone last night it got me overly confused im lesbian i kno but im trying to determine if its a phase but honestly i feel amazing with females im attracted to but with males its like a comfort aspect im just a little puzzle on the situation all i want is a girl to call my own but i still seem to get in flings with guys i dont like the i hate relations with them i love females 99% 1%male im so puzzled by this i really am #confusion

lonewolf678's picture

I Didn't Even Know

Last night was atypical. I listened to some music, played some minecraft on my slate. But something felt off, I remembered one of my friends, he's off on training, a weekend warrior hehe. I then suddenly felt lonely, I just slumped to the side of my propped up pillow in my bed. I supposed he's ok, I'm just being silly.

anarchist's picture

D.I.Y. Orgasms

Spring break has been a fucking disappointment so far for the most part. It's cool that I get to just play a ton of albums I haven't heard yet and get into a lot of music that I didn't really have the time for, and listen to album after album of entirely unexplored musicians without responsibilities, with occasional music store trips, but I've been kind of lonely and bored. Boredom just leads to somewhat disappointing series of lonely orgasms that just empty my soul of the motivation I had to ignore my problems.

Dracofangxxx's picture

.

hes gone again

swimmerguy's picture

You love a stone, because it's cool and it's smooth

Well, I don't think I mentioned this here, but my orchestra went to Costa Rica for a week over Spring Break.
I could give you some bullshit travelogue, but I know it wouldn't mean much to you if you weren't there. I'll stick to the important bits.

First, the country itself. It's a beautiful country. It was the first in the world to have no army for itself, established in 1949, and looking at the people, you can imagine why. I can't imagine those people in the military. They're too nice.

angel syndrome's picture

tired but happy

been crazy busy lately

finals
giving a lecture
getting into performance art
modelling for magazines and art films
getting hired as editor for my school's undergraduate academic journal
networking and building contacts

i'm exhausted
but exhilarated

i love performing and modelling
(independently/word-of-mouth for art-oriented projects, no commercial work, so i don't have the pressures of a commercial agency)

it's really helped me to overcome some of my feelings about my body

anarchist's picture

Spring break sucks.

We had plans to walk around the lake this week, and now he isn reaponding to the texts I've sent. Now I'm just bored, disappointed, and lonely. There's absolutely nothing to do.

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