Beau's picture

Moving To The Coast

I wrote last time in my journal about some of my interests, and this time I want to write about what it's like living on the Gulf coast and how my life has changed.

I'm the youngest kid in a large family of all boys (my oldest brother is in his 30's) and in 2011 my older brother moved out and went to college far from my state's capital city where we used to live. We lived in a huge house, six bedrooms and three baths in a rich neighborhood, but my parents decided to downsize since it would just be the three of us.

anarchist's picture

I wrote a thing because I was here and I was bored. Read it if you want to know what's up in my head.

I busted out the viola today and gave it a long-delayed try after at least three years of not even touching it. I'm terrible at bowing now and I could barely remember where to put my fingers, especially while I was playing a song that had a ton of sharps (even though it literally contained only four notes in the one phrase that is repeated throughout the entire six-minute movement). I was playing the first movement of this piece, and quite poorly:

swimmerguy's picture

Ask for proof, because if you're dying to be led, they'll lead you up the hill in chains to their popular refrains

Wow. I'm tired.
Between working and school and everything else I do, I'm just doing shit all the fucking time. I haven't watched a speck of tv or video games in months, not even intentionally, but simply because I just don't have the fucking time.

Sometimes I wonder. In the adolescent emotional roller coaster, I'm usually riding along at a relatively laid back, but rolling, pace.

anarchist's picture

deteriorate

This is going to be a short journal, but I just have something I need to share here. I was talking with the certain person I usually write about, and he was going to meet up with his girlfriend (during a time we usually spend alone together) and he addressed her as "someone". It's like he wants to entirely avoid the subject of her. The only times he mentions her to me are when I pretty much give him no other option, and even then he mentions her briefly and quietly, and then either moves on to something else or just stops with it. What do you think this means?

Beau's picture

Hello From The Gulf Coast!

I'm Beau, I'm 13, and the day has finally come for me to write on here!

I've been hesitant to write on here because I really don't feel like I fit in with other gays, but I finally woke up and understood that I'm still gay even if my interests are not necessarily going to get the Gay Stamp Of Approval.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

idon'tevenknow

Hnn. What is it that makes it there? What is it that makes it me? What is it that keeps me from them and them from me and this from there and that? Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck take it away out not here. Who is this that there? Who are you them me? But it's not, is it, it's not that, who you are, who we are, we are we are we are listen to me it's not fair who are you I want to know.

Dracofangxxx's picture

toxic people

lies pounding through nervous arteries, promises never meant to be kept

i spent so long cutting myself over people instead of cutting people out, but i am now snipping gangrenous friendships off. i may lose the limb but i’ll save the body.

it’s supposed to feel better but it doesn’t yet, i still have 3rd degree burn scars on my breasts and thighs from where your hands blazed like hungry wildfire and i can taste ash in my mouth; the embers are still glowing within me

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

When I Was A Boy (Possible Triggers; Somewhat Explicit)

When I was 13 or so, I pretty regularly courted men thirty or forty years my senior. It was thrilling, and fun, and, most importantly to me, made me feel alive in a time where I felt like I was dying inside. They weren't great men, they weren't great lovers, and they certainly weren't particularly intelligent. But hey, when you're 13 and your definition of love is defined by getting fucked, it's not a bad life to get treated at a lovely restaurant or given gifts by a man more than twice your age. And honestly? I still look fondly on some of them.

elph's picture

Dark Temptations of the Beat Generation

I hope all surviving Oasies™ read this article as both a cautionary tale and as an informative one!

We each have only our one life to live and enjoy: We are so much better informed today than a quarter century ago. This article describes how easily it can be thrown away…

Some temptations just aren't worth the risk: Use your brains!

http://www.vocativ.com/culture/art-culture/teenage-boyfriend-beat-genera...

Brady's picture

Friday

After baseball practice yesterday dad wanted me and Hayden to run some supplies to the hunting cabin we own that's about 20 minutes away. It's more like a shack, but we go there at least a few times a month, mostly in the spring and summer.

What I didn't tell Hayden was that I had Luke meet us out there with Jake, and really the reason I didn't tell him was I was afraid he wouldn't want to go. I mean you can't get nervous about something you don't know about it, right?

anarchist's picture

Yeah.

Everything worked out today. We had nonstop conversation for five hours and it was a wonderful experience. We really got a lot closer with that, and had a lot of fun. I'm still worried about not getting to talk to him as much anymore, and I think he is, too, but that won't kill our friendship anymore. He seemed pretty excited to have me over more in the future. There isn't really much to say about this, but I thought it was something that should be written about here, just to keep my journal up to date.

radiosilence95's picture

Hey, guys.

I've been lurking here for awhile without really contributing to anything, mostly for the sake of nostalgia, but I figured I may as well post a journal for the hell of it.

anarchist's picture

fucky fuck

I got caught skipping with yakow today by a fucky fuck, and I had to leave him. I don't know if I can go back to his lunch anymore now, but if I can't, then I will have only a couple minutes a day to talk to him, and that won't do. He did skip a class and come to my lunch period, but that was only to talk to his girlfriend. I moved over to his table when I noticed, and we talked a bit, and he talked to her a bit, and there were a couple of instances when the three of us were discussing certain topics.

Brady's picture

When You Have To Tell The Truth

In my last journal I wrote about some big changes that had happened in my life, and this time I'm going to discuss the other one.

I didn't know this, but my brother Hayden has suspected me of being gay for a long time but never said anything about it...until a few weeks ago.

Now that we're sharing the basement one thing we do on Friday and Saturday nights is stretch out on the sleeper sofa and watch a movie, and then sleep together. It gives us a chance to talk privately, and since we don't see each other much during the week it's also a good time to catch up.

Brady's picture

Did My Journal About Carter Suck?

I have to ask this because I didn't get a single comment on it, and taking in a relative like that is kind of a big deal?

Just wondering?

Brady

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