.11 reasons why gay marriages should be banned.

tastetherainbow's picture

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.
3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; just like women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

...just something for you guys to think about ;D. lol HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT!

Comments

christa's picture

i love your 11 reasons things

i love your 11 reasons things. i was a little confused a first but then i got it. sometimes i think i might just be a little slow.LOL.

*is not life so fucking great, or is it just mine. Sarcastically said.*
*kisses*

QuakerOats's picture

that's great! Come out, co

that's great!

Come out, come out wherever you are!

Snowed_in1014's picture

I hope that was ment to be fu

I hope that was ment to be funny because i'm laughin my ass off!

MajorMadness's picture

12. Civil unions, providing m

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "seperate but equal" society is always constitutional. Seperate schools for African Americans worked just as well as seperate marriages for gays and lesbians will

NovaCat's picture

I've seen a thing similar to

I've seen a thing similar to this, and frankly, it's just as funny the second time . . . and the twelfth time . . . and so on. So great!

Paladin's picture

That was nice to read

Dave

Bluesong's picture

lol

Now that's funny!

Dan84's picture

Thanks so much!

I'm going to copy it and put it... um, somewhere.

tinkerbelle babe1689's picture

lol

That was awesome to read. I'll put it up on my homepage. Thanks!!
~*TrYiNg To SuRvIvE wItH tHe SeCrEt ThAt I hIdE*~
***Elizabeth Marie***

Eegriaga's picture

OMG YOU MESSED

HOLY SHIT WHY IS EVERY1 LIKE THIS IS A GOOD THING. WHAT IF SOMEONE WANTS TO GET MARRIED THATS THERE BUSINESS. LIKE ONE DAY I MAY WANT TO GET MARRIED, ITS NOT ABOUT FUCKING MAKING BABIES ITS ABOUT LOVING SOMEONE AND THATS WHAT COUNTS!

"Being Republican and gay is like being gay with a bad haircut!"

HotPinkFlames's picture

duh!

they didn't actually mean it. hello, sarcasm?

Sorry I missed church today, I was too busy becoming a lesbian and practicing paganism!

advicegal565's picture

HotPinkFlames

some people dont think its funny when people make fun of gay marriage. you obviously think its a joke .well a lot of people dont and get offended.

toriisinsane's picture

It's not making fun of gay ma

It's not making fun of gay marriage. It's making fun of those who have really stupid reasons for saying gay marriage shouldn't happen.

Sometimes I lie awake at night staring at the stars and wondering where the hell is my ceiling?

Eegriaga's picture

...im so sry!!!!

omg sry i thought you were serious lol

"Being Republican and gay is like being gay with a bad haircut!"

Mitsuki-san's picture

hehehe

Wow. That was really great. I enjoyed that. ^_^

All great truths begin as blasphemies.~ George Bernard Shaw

kassieib's picture

Kassie:)I didn't get it at fi

Kassie:)I didn't get it at first either but by time it was to like the fifth reason I got it. It was halarious

Lezrckergirl13's picture

Oh migad...that scared me

Um...I didn't realize it was a joke until 15 minutes later...hahahashaha very good and clever.
I'm always there to laugh at when stupid comes
and hits me in the face!!!

Dominique's picture

WOW!!! =D

I think you hit the nail right on target with this one. One word can sum up this whole entry.... hilarious. It made my afternoon.

~~Dominique~~