CaliDude's Story

OasisOut's picture

I am not out yet to everyone, nor do I plan to in my school life. I first want my parents to pay for my college education before I come out to them. Since my family isn't the most gay friendly.

My grandparents are conservative European immigrants on both sides of my dad's and mom's side of the family. Both of my parents grew up on farms to strict Christian families. I was born and brought up to farming, conservative, Christian parents, as in the case for most of my family.

I reliezed I was gay when I was 13, and it terriefied me. When I reliezed I was gay I tried to over compensate for what I saw as my terrible phase. I played sports ranging from baseball to golf. I excelled at school having a GPA reaching 4.5, I worked myself to pure perfection in order to make up for the fact I am gay. It all became to much to handel, I came to a breaking point. Underneath my smile and perfection was a story of sorrow and anguish. I was managing sports, farm work, family, school, clubs, and my sexuality all at the same time.

One of my best friends noticed something was wrong with me. I told him I have a issue in my life which is hard to deal with. He asked what it was, but I told him I am not sure if I can say it. A few days later, he confronted me and demanded to know what my problem was. And it went like this.

F will stand for "friend" and N will stand for me.

F: Dude what is your problem?

N: I have a big issue in my life which I don't know what to do with it

F: You can tell me bro

N: If I tell you, will you promise to never tell anyone?

F:Yah of course

N: Well I am gay.

F: Really? You gay? Are your fucking with me?

N: No dude I am not, is it shocking or it isn't kewl with you? If so just say so and we can change topic, or I can just leave

F:No, no, it is just a surprise

N: Why?

F: Well you are a jock, a prep, high school royalty, you do the sports thing, you are a rancher, you don't sound gay, you are just one of the guys, out of everyone I would of thought you are the str8test guy I know.

N: Thnx man, yah it is odd, and I don't plan on mentioning the things that deal with me being gay since I don't want to make you uncomfortable

F: Bro don't worry, as long as you don't hit on me we are still friends.

N: You do not know how good that is to hear man.

That was a few weeks ago, and now I am becomming more comfortable with myself and my gayness. I got a boyfriend, and I am seeing what life will be like when I live my true self.

IF I can offer any advice to anyone is be careful who you come out to. Make sure you are close to the person you tell about your sexuality. It is a ruff process and I wish all of you luck.


Adam A's picture

puts a lotion on it's skin

sorry for the random title, i hate titles

thanks for sharing u'r story, it's rather similar to mine actually, don't know if you've read it, i realized when i was fourteen, came out to my best friend, his girlfriend and my female best friend these last 9 days or so, they all took it extremely well, i'm very lucky to have such good friends, plus i have a 20yr old gay guy looking after me, little does he know i'm head over heals in love with him but whatever... i'm glad things are going ok for you, i chanelled my shame when i found out into self discory, sounds creepy but a lot of good came out of it, it helped me manage my diabetes and extend my abilities in art. now of course being gay is the thing i'm most proud of, i just wish i had a freaking boyfriend, i really am getting desperate!

whateversexual_llama's picture

Congrats! Good luck with your

Congrats! Good luck with your family.

"A Soul-"