Pixicorpse6's story

OasisOut's picture

Name - Bridgit
Oasis Username - Pixiecorpse6
Age - 16
Sex - Female
Location - Ontario, Canada

My story begins in August 2006. I had just recently met a boy at a three-day
concert, and decided to make one last attempt to change my sexuality. It
didn't work, just as the other two heterosexual relationships I'd gotten
myself into hadn't. Ever since I hit puberty I had been questioning my
sexuality, and when I started dating men I started realizing that I was a
lesbian. It took me about 6 months to finally accept that fact.

After I had though, and after I was proud to admit it to myself, I knew the
next step was telling my friends. My family could wait, it was and still is
my plan to tell them when I'm in a serious relationship with someone. I told
two of my best friends first. They accepted it well; one a lot better than
the other. I was really nervous telling the friend who accepted it the best;
I kind of had a small crush on her at the time. After I told them, I decided
I should tell one of my oldest guy friends, Mike. Mike has liked me for at
least three years now. I knew I had to tell him; it was starting to get
uncomfortable and awkward between us. I knew how much he liked me, and I
knew how wrong it would feel for me to be with him. He resented it a little,
but in the end, he accepted who I am.

This all happened during the course of a few weeks. I had a lot of trouble
finding the courage to tell even these close friends. I know it's hard, but
when it comes to something as important as sexuality, your true friends have
every right to know, and will still love you all the same. That's a lesson I
recently learned.

At the beginning of the school year, I made a special new friend. Very
rarely does anyone meet someone one day and instantly become close friends.
I sometimes think it was an act of fate, especially when I realized I was
falling for her. Around the end of summer vacation I had been dreaming of
what it would be like to have a girlfriend, and as corny as it may sound, I
sometimes wished I could find someone. Then, on the first day back, I met
her.

She didn't know about my sexuality until recently. We've been such close
friends for a few months now, and I'd never told her. For some reason, she
was the hardest friend to tell. I guess it's because I cared so much about
her.

I haven't heard back from her yet. But even though I still have my doubts, I
know telling her was a good choice. I know she won't turn away from me
because of my sexuality alone; it's the part about admitting my feelings for
her that worries me. All in all, I do believe it's important to tell people
what's on your mind. You may never get another chance to. Even if at first
they don't seem to understand, if they really care about you, they will come
around.

Coming out is a hard thing to do. It seems so easy and simple, but when you
try, you can't. You're afraid they might think of you differently, or turn
away completely. This may not be the same for everyone, but I know for me,
it was the hardest decision I've had to make so far. I give a big pat on the
back to anyone who has. To those who haven't, just remember, if you care
about your friends or family, and know they care about you, they should
know, and they won't turn away from you. Good luck.