So, i've wanted to join a flag corps or winer guard since the second semester of my freshman year (i'm a junior now). I told my mom that, and for some reason she totally freaked out!!! Grr! Then she told my grandpa! He starts off with "Your gonna ruin your life, you will have to quit band, you will have to stop playing your clarinet, and you have no chance of getting into college!!!" What kind of crap is that! We've never been very close, but that just pushed me over the edge.
This is somewhat of a rant, you have been warned.
You may now proceed to read my long drawn out bitch about my lack of educational funds, if this upsets you then feel free to not comment or read.
Applying for a scholarship does not guarantee that I will recieve the free money that is a scholarship. The next person that suggests I apply for scholarships to compensate for the almost $6,000 that I still need in order to pay for Mills can take their advice and shove it (because I'm feeling polite).
YES! THIS IS A RANT! ANYONE WHO ISNT DEAD OR FROM ANOTHER PLAIN OF EXISTENCE
WOULD DO WELL TO COVER THEIR EARS!!!!!! *blush* i mean, um...HI! um...this
is my first journal entry here at oasis. i finally convinced my mom to let
me set up an account! my name is bratalamay and i am questioning. wait a
minute...im not at a group, im on a blog site! lol! *smacks own forehead*
wow...i guess this really is a rant :) but n e way, i really am in the Q
My college has a booth set up for prevention of STDs. It is quite akward for me because they have a sign on a container full of condoms instructing us to take one or two. I am STILL a virgin and only took the free candy that they had and enetered the raffle drawing to get a DVD.
Gawd. My laptop died yesterday and if I wasn't pissed enough to have to redo all my work, I sure am hella pissed today.
I almost got a detention at skool because I couldn't hand in my work. I just got told off and warned. Gosh.
And now I've taken my laptop to get fixed. They replaced the harddrive which charged money from our school account. Dad will ask how the laptop broke, and if the reason is shit he'd use my bank saving probably from Chinese New Year to pay for it.
Yay, I have my laptop on my computer table. I got up reached for the shelf to get a blank CD so I can burn something and guess what. I knocked a torch down and it smashed my keyboard and damaged my motherboard. Now my laptop won't start up! How fun! I'm gona have some enjoyment redoing four weeks of work.
Gawd damn I'm pissed.
I love my friends. Sometimes though they just make me relly mad. I feel so worthless to them lately. I am always here..I hear those words way to often for them to mean alot to me anymore. I support them adn i think it's great that they are happy adn dating eachother. I think it is wonderful. Just ever since this happened lyns adn i have become second their partner. I miss having court to relay on and i know i still do but i don't think it is fair that i am only good to her when J isen't there adn same goes the otheer way the only time i talk to j is when Courty is not online.
Everybody loves to mock my gay best friend in what they think is a playful way. They try to come up with “creative,
The following rant is not intended to hurt anyone's feelings. If it does, suck it up and get some sunshine. (:<
It's hard for me to understand what attracts young teenagers to the ever-growing social group commonly known as "Emo". I have thought about it long and hard (Yes, I have no life), and I can't seem to understand how cutting your body, writing suicide notes, and complaining to every (moving?)body about how your life "sucks". I don't doubt that many people that act "emo" have a very bad life, but the many that I have life complain about common problems that befall many people. I believe that "Emo" is quite selfish and sick. What are humans comming to? What is the next generation coming to? We are all going to grow up being flooded by emotion(less) drones that dress in the "dark" color black.
One encounter with an "Emo" child I particularly remember, I was talking to a "Friend" and I was asking why he hates himself so muhc and why people don't like him. I offered suggestions like "Why don't you say Hi? Why don't you smile?" After I had said to smile, he said, " Smiling is like taking cyanide, and being happy is just as bad." Has this person seen pain at all? THEY ARE CAUSING PAIN FOR THEMSELVES. I don't understand why we all can't just be happy. Most of us have so much...
My only classes i had today in college was cancelled and now I'm bored. I just started seeing a new thrapist two weeks ago that deal with gay issues. I am comfortable with him and trust him greatly already. I see him again today. He is going to help me figure out what to say to people and understands what goes on in my head. I still haven't met anyone and still feel quite lonely. BTW like my avatar?
Well, I just wanted to say hello to everyone! I think that this site is simply amazing, and I look forward to reading what you all have to say! Gotta run, I'll try and post again later.
Okay seriously, it's a fucking cartoon. How dare these stupid Muslims go around behaving the way they have been. Who DO they think they are?!
I saw an interesting opinion voiced by a Muslim on IRC. By interesting I mean hilariously stupid.
Firstly, they asked me to imagine if a cartoon was posted in a newspaper depicting my mother being fucked by a dog.
Well, umm, I certainly wouldn't go around burning embassies and sending death threats to random citizens of the country that the newspaper resides in. I wouldn't go around enforcing my view that my mum is the greatest in the world and no other mum is better than her, and I wouldn't burn flags or dress up like a suicide bomber in some sort of bizarre protest.
K SO WHY THE FUCK DO PPL MAKE FUN OF OTHER PPL FOR THERE, SEXUALITY, RACE, RELIGION OR WHERE THEY ARE FROM. IT IS RUDE AND HATEFUL AND NOT RIGHT AT ALL. AND WHY DO SOME PPL THINK THEY ARE BETTER TEHNE EVERYONE ELSE, THEY AREN'T NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY TRY THEY WILL NEVER BE. O_O SHEESH, PPL ARE FUCKGIN STUPID MAN.
Okay, wy the fuck do people get so scared of homosexuals, i dont mind beign around them, im partly am one so why the fuck? PEOPLE GET SO WOUND UP OVER SUCH STUPID THINGS THAT IT MAKES ME SO SO SO MAD , AGARRO Y GOLPEA EN LA CABAZA!!!!!!! THERE AHS BEEN 10 FIGHTS AT MY HIGH SCHOOL IN THE PAST WEEK, WHY! WHY IS VIOLENCE AN ANSWER TO EVERYTHING! WHAT DOES IT PROVE? DOES IT MAKE YOU A MAN/WOMAN! I DONT THINK SO, I THINK IT SHOWS THAT YOU INTELLENGENCE IS SO LOW THAT YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND THE IDEA OF COMMUNICATING YOUR THOUGHTS WITH ANOTHER PERSON.
I hate you. I hate you for how you pretended to care. I hate you for dropping me right when I needed a friend. I hate how you act like nothing ever happened. I hate how you laugh when I cry. I hate you for not understanding. I hate you for thinking I should just get over my depression. I hate how you hate me when I have mood swings. I hate how you hate me for cutting. I hate how you never tried to understand. I hate the things you say to hurt me. I hate how you broke my heart. I hate that you ever spoke to me. I hate that I fell in love. I hate you for believing my roommate when she said that I was a bitch. I hate how I trusted you. I hate you for being so stupid. I hate how you think your so smart. I hate that you left me crying. I hate that you tore me apart.
so ive been told that every time this one girl talks to me my face goes red..i think hearing that kind of gave me heartburn...not to mention the fact that the other day i was in the library and she comes over and ever so innocently asks for my help on something, (i should explain the situation...my friend was in the middle of a joke and had her hand on my thigh and i was in the middle of inviting her (jokingly) out into the hall for a quickie) and so i look up and shes standing there (have i mentioned shes GORGEOUS??) and so i feel my face go red and i go to stand up to walk to her desk and what do i do? TRIP ON MY DAMN SHOELACE! thats right...had to catch myself on the desk.
Ok, I am new to this site, so please don't get mad at me if this isn't what it is supposed to be. Anyway I am 14 and not quite sure what the hell I am. I got outed by a friend of mine to the entire school. That happened last year so everyone knows that I like chicks. About 3 weeks ago I told that same friend that I was interested in a girl named Jessica in the next grade up. Well my friend go mad at me and told Jessica. I got on MSN, and saw that Jess wasn't on and so I got on my other account, and lone and behold, she was online. I asked her why she was blocking me and she said that her comp must have messed something up. I asked her what my friend told her and she told me that Shelby(my friend) told her that I liked her I asked her if she hated me and she said no.
So i havent written in forever but so much has happened i guess...i came out to most of my friends and to my surprise theyre all cool with it, but i think its because i told them i was bi and that means i can still like boys which means im prbably going through a phase but they dont know how long the question of my sexuality has been in my head...so its 3 in the morning and i cant fall asleep anymore...maybe its due to the fact that i have been taking multiple caffeine pills a day rather than my regular one...does anyone else abuse caffeine pills..i hate to admit that i am addicted to them, but i think if i can't function without atleast one a day that is a bad sign...i guess im one of those people that will end up abusing any substance they can get their hands on...i got drunk and made out with my friends sister, which was really the first time ive made out with a girl...but shes straight and only does that when she's drunk..
I just failed my math final, and feel like absolute shit. I thought that going out with my friends afterwards to lunch (which was a total fiasco!) and shopping on melrose would make me feel so much better, but it didn't. Instead I ended up buying a great dress that I can wear practically anywhere for an outrageously obscene price (don't even ask...I'm going to have to work around the house a lot to pay back my friend who lent me some of the cash...ok most of the cash...). My friends from school, we just don't gel like the friends that I have with my best friend and friends from choir. When I'm with them I'm cold, flat, blank, which is the opposite of who I am. I'm always tired and just can't stop being...boring...it drives me crazy!!! The sad thing is that they themselves are crazy cool people, who are opened minded, and laugh with each other. Though lately, I've felt this vibe in the group, a kinda negative, capid one that makes me shiver when I just think about it. Anyway, so two of my friends were standing in back of me carrying on a conversation while I was talking to another friend of mine next to me, when one of them says, "______ give me a high five." I turned around ready to give her one, when she pulls it down and says, "Look at the only lesbian here," in a very condescending, but mostly joking voice. I didn't know what I wanted to do first, spit on her, slap her, cry or say, "Anna give me a high five. Oh, whoops...Look at the only Cuban here." Seh didn't know what that did to me, because I laughed it off because the rest of my friends were laughing. Oh yeah, it's hilarious. Doesn't she think that I feel bad enough being the only gay one in the group? That I wish I had more bi or gay friends, and that I feel really out of place most of the time. No, she's never had to feel that, because things have always come so easily for her, it makes me sick. Though what makes me even more ill, is that she didn't even know what she did. She didn't understand why or even how, it could hurt me because she's so fucking careless, thoughtless. Maybe that's why I'm so fucking cold, because I can't trust myself to defrost around them. Which is sad, so utterly and completely depressing. Friends should never say things like that, right?
Why can't I fucking deal? Whenever anyone around me exhibits any real emotion I freak out and I don't know how to react. I feel like such a fucking retard. Why can't I just know what to do? When Hannah started to talk about how she's losing her hair I froze, and when she blew up about school I froze.It's not the first time either; this always happens to me and it fucking sucks!