The night air was a little cooler, the stars a little less intense, but the beach was much the same as I slowly made my way to the spot me and Brooke had shared a week before. I wasn't even sure if she’d would be there but I had felt an overwhelming urge to find out. I had tried to write it off as concern for the obviously distressed young woman. After all, Brooke seemed to have as bad a week as I myself had. Then self-awareness had kicked in, damn it, and I had been forced to acknowledge that there was more to it than that. A lot more. A whole icky mess more. Yet here I was, trudging across the sand in the hope of finding the lithe form settled in "their spot" on the beach. Elation whistled through me as my eyes found Brooke staring up to the heavens just as she had been seven days past. If possible, the blonde appeared even more hunched in to herself, her pale face stark in the flickering light of the nearby fire. 'Hi!' Brooke had turned at the approaching sounds, hoping beyond reason that it would be the girl that now stood a few feet away. She patted the sand beside her, offering a bright smile of reassurance as I took my place. 'Hi,' Brooke laughed lightly, surprised by a hint of nervousness in her voice, 'how did the group go?' I settled myself on the sand, looking out to sea for a few seconds before answering, 'I didn't go.' 'How come?' 'I...' I paused to order my thoughts, 'It's just been a weird week, I couldn't face it.' Brooke nodded, 'Yeah, it's definitely been a week and a half.' I recognised the hurt and disappointment in Brooke's tone, 'Anything I can do to help?' Brooke laughed harshly, 'Wipe out the past few days.' 'I wish,' I agreed, my own hurt clouding my voice. 'Well,' Brooke reached out to touch my arm, 'I'll tell you mine, if you'll tell me yours.' Hazel eyes smiled at the deliberately light-hearted phrasing of what was obviously a difficult offer to make...and to accept. Once again concern shone from the clear blue that held my gaze and I did so want to unburden myself of the confusion in my heart and mind. Plus, I genuinely wanted to help Brooke and I was certain that she needed to talk as much as I did. Why else had they both made their way to this spot? 'OK,' I agreed, 'who goes first?' Brooke grinned, reaching in to her pocket she pulled out a shiny coin and waved it in the air. I nodded as she turned the small disc in her fingers before tossing it in a low arc. 'Heads,' I called out as the coin neared the sand. We examined the coin lying between us, me groaning as I noted the uppermost surface. 'Looks like you start,' Brooke encouraged with a kind smile. I took a deep breathe and began in an unsteady voice, 'I tried to be something that I'm not - something that I know I'm not - and I just ended up confusing myself more and hurting someone who's really sweet.' Brooke nodded, trying to project an aura of quiet understanding when really she was desperate to ask for more details. Instead she simply waited, giving me time to think through how much I wanted to disclose. 'I've been chatting online with this guy,' I continued eventually, 'he's been really great and I thought... I guess I thought that if I met him and things worked out I could forget about the whole gay thing.' I looked at my companion, hoping for a hint of understanding but was surprised to find an expression of recognition on the beautiful features. 'You understand,' statement and question. 'Yeah,' Brooke cleared her throat to remove the lump that had formed there, 'yeah, I do.' They were silent for a while, Brooke raising her eyes skyward once more and me sifting the sand though my fingers. I glanced at the figure beside me through my fringe, noting the lines of worry etched in to the usually flawless skin. 'Your turn,' I encouraged in a hushed tone. Oh boy, Brooke chewed on her lip, she'd started this little confessional and now she had to make good on it. Briefly she considered brushing it off, discarding the topic in favour of something trivial, but she knew it would hurt ,me and that was unacceptable. Brooke turned that thought over in her mind, when had this nascent friendship become so important to her? When had I become so important to her? 'Can I call you ……?' Brooke was pretty sure that the request had surprised her even more than it had me. Though, looking at the startled features across from me, it was a close run thing. 'Sure.' my smile widened as I considered what my agreement meant. Only my closest friends used the diminutive of my name - Loz, Amber and Mel - and my family didn't even use it that much. I liked that Brooke wanted to be a part of that and I really liked that she had asked first. 'I'd like that.' 'Thanks, babe,' Brooke smiled back at me but her expression fell as she considered how to fulfill her half of their bargain. Sometimes feet first was the best way, she decided, 'Jai and I had sex for the first time. And then we broke up.' I nodded a few times, hoping that my expression was one of sympathy and understanding but fearing that I wasn't quite pulling it off. I'd never really believed Loz's rumours about Brooke and Jai's inexperience, assuming it was just jealousy talking. I had believed that they were the perfect couple...in every way. Wasn't that what Brooke and Jai were there for? To be the shining example of coupledom to an enraptured audience? It was kind of sad to think that they were as screwed up as everyone else. My brain shifted on to the second part of Brooke's statement. Sex followed by break up, that was tough, really tough. Maybe it hadn't been what they'd hoped for, maybe it was just plain bad or maybe...Oh god... 'He didn't force himself on you, did he?' I felt my body shake with rage. If that miserable, goodfornothing, pretty boy fuckwitt had hurt Brooke I was going to personally punt his ass from here to Hawaii. 'No!' Brooke gasped in horror, 'Jai would never do anything like that.' 'Good,' I barked out, though my anger quickly dissipated in the face of Brooke's assertion. 'It wasn't anything like that,' Brooke reassured, as surprised by my intense reaction as by the initial accusation. 'Good,' I said again but this time a smile tugged at the corner of my lips, ''cos I'd have to divest him of certain body parts if he even considered it.' 'Thanks,' Brooke returned the fledgling smile. It felt good to have someone who was so willing to stand up for her like that. Of course, Amber would stand up for her too, it was just that Brooke couldn't always be sure what she'd do or if it would be worth the hassle in the end. Or just why Amber was doing it in the first place. Not so with me, Brooke was certain there was nothing but genuine concern in my eyes. She began to elaborate, 'Loz and I had this stupid bet that she couldn't get a date before Jai and I became more open about our relationship. I guess it just made me realise that there was something missing and I thought what that was must be real intimacy. I was so wrong.' Brooke trailed off and I moved a little closer, tentatively placing a hand on tense shoulders. Sad blue eyes held mine and I felt an intense need to protect this fragile creature. The torrent of emotion shook me and I made to pull away. 'Don't,' Brooke asked in a whisper. 'Please stay close.' I blinked away the moisture in my eyes at the quiet plea. Moving my arm to encompass the slim shoulders I pulled Brooke to me.
This is the true story of what I thought was true love, and was meant to be. All names have been changed to protect the innocent, mainly me…
Brooke sat on the beach, her eyes lifted to the stars alight in the dark sky above. Sometimes, when it all got too much, when she couldn't quiet the pain and confusion, she came here to sit and think. The vast ocean before her and the endless sky above made her feel inconsequential and if she was inconsequential then so were her problems. Rationally she already knew that school popularity contests, arguments at home and boyfriend troubles really were unimportant in the grand scheme of things. It was just that she needed a reminder of that fact every so often. Life got very big on you sometimes and you needed a shove backwards to put it all in perspective. 'Brooke?' The soft inquiry dragged her from her depths and Brooke turned to find me standing a few feet away. Warm hazel eyes smiled shyly in to crisp blue and Brooke indicated the sand beside her with a nod of her head. I dropped to the slim girl's side, feeling ungainly in my own body as I always did when near Brooke. I had always admired Brooke - popular, straight-A student and all-round beauty as she was - but recently I had come to know and like her. Brooke had proven herself atypical of the popular crowd; she seemed to have a heart as well as a brain and a body. My eyes swept over that body, finding the tall form hunched in to itself, the beautiful face lined with worry. 'Are you OK?' 'Yeah,' Brooke consciously lightened her features, 'Just thinking.' 'I'll leave you alone then.' I made to raise myself from the sand but a gentle hand stilled my progress. I allowed myself a moment to soak in the feel of Brooke's elegant hand on my bare arm, patting the long fingers with my own before the other girl withdrew the contact. 'Is there anything I can do?' I offered. 'Just sit with me.' I considered my response because I knew that when she'd left home, Brooke had been sure she sought solitude. Now she was asking a girl she barely knew to share the quiet space she had made for herself. Though perhaps that was unfair to me; she did seem to understand better than most people in life. Certainly better than Loz, sadly better than her Father or Step-Mother, probably better than Ben and Jai. Brooke let out a long sigh, what a mess things had become. I returned my gaze to the figure beside me, 'You know I'll listen, if you want to talk.' 'I just,' Brooke paused, looking deep in to concerned eyes, 'sometimes it gets too much.' I smiled in understanding, 'Yeah, I know what you mean.' 'When it gets like this I just like to come out here and feel small.' 'Says a natural size 8.' Brooke barked her amusement in a short laugh making my smile widen. 'You're even more beautiful when you smile like that.' I froze, "even more beautiful"? God, Brooke, the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen, just called me beautiful. That was a definite "Wow". Brooke bit her lip, carefully watching my reaction. She really hadn't meant to let slip the thought that had rushed through her mind as my face had shifted in the glow of the nearby fire. It was just that, before her brain could edit the comment, her heart had spoken. 'Erm,' my smile became embarrassed, 'thanks.' 'It's OK,' Brooke again stroked my arm, 'it's the truth.' We sat in silence for a while, Brooke returning her gaze to the stars and me making vague patterns in the sand around her. 'So,' Brooke began, breaking the silence, 'what bought you out here?' Brooke watched me tighten beside her as she asked the seemingly innocuous question. I looked away quickly, my eyes locking on a point far out to sea. 'Sorry,' Brooke continued quickly, 'you really don't have to answer that.' 'No, it's just...' I took a deep breath, 'It's just something I haven't told anybody about. Not even Loz.' 'You don't have to tell me anything.' Brooke felt the sting of disappointment, of course I would talk to Loz before I'd even think of saying anything to her. 'Actually,' I looked in to clear blue eyes, 'I would like to talk about it.' I took another deep breath, considering how to broach a subject that I hadn't discussed with anyone in my own circle of friends. I wondered for a moment if Brooke could truly be described as my friend but the compassion in her eyes left no doubt. 'I...,' I trailed off immediately. This was hard, my head felt heavy, my throat was dry and I could feel perspiration stand out on my skin in contrast to the cooling air around them. 'I've been to a group meeting,' I began with more confidence than I actually felt. 'What sort of group?' Brooke turned to fully face me, leaning towards me as she listened. 'A gay youth support group,' I explained in a rush. 'Oh.' I watched Brooke's reaction, expecting her to back away, half believing that she would get up and walk off. This whole coming out thing was a nightmare, though I had to admit it was an adrenaline rush too. Maybe that explained why the few openly gay kids she knew kept coming out to all and sundry. I considered that for a moment, they didn't seem to have a problem doing this so why was my heart trying to sledgehammer its way out of my chest? Brooke watched the emotions cascade over my face. She admitted to herself that she was surprised, not so much about the gay thing but more about the “me
Well, here's my first post on Oasis! I'm really excited; there aren't many GLBTQ people at my school (I'm gay). I know of 2 gays, I'm kind of friends with one, and a few bisexuals at my school. I'm friends with two of them so that's cool. My school's fairly liberal and I haven't been bullied at all so I'm definitely happy about that!
So I came out on Valentine's Day this year (awww, how sweet! Gushy gushy!) and I'm at the point where I'm starting to gain some confidence in myself but am still having negative emotions about my sexuality. I have a lot on my mind because I've never really talked about it before. I came out to one of my best friends but she thought I was joking and we were walking down the hall to class so she had to go before I could tell her I wasn't. Then I came out to the rest of my friends by writing it on xanga. It was a huge mistake because all of my friends left lovely comments on my xanga but then never talked about it with me in real life. I tried starting up conversations about it but it never really worked. Then I sent an email and gave a note to two of my friends but they both convienently forgot about them. I don't understand. The ones who recieved the email and note are both great people who always shower me with love but fell strangely silent when I needed help. They love talking with me about cute guys so they're obviously not homophobic. I guess they just didn't know what to say or forgot. Either way, right now I feel pretty unloved and in need of a caring ear. I'm going to try talking to another friend of mine who's always been ready to listen soon so hopefully I'll start feeling better. I just feel really insecure, ashamed, and unlike myself. I'm usually a very happy, confident, and optimistic person, but ever since I've come out I've felt really depressed and badly about myself. I don't even know why. I know that it's perfectly all right to be gay and it's nothing to feel bad about, yet sometimes it's all I can do not to break down crying because I hate myself so much. So confusing!
Today we had a gay pride day at my school we had a masive flag rainbow of corse.
I did a day of silence (and suprisingly all the teachers supported it)and only broke it when i told my story
I stood up in front of my entire school(mind you in the second week i came out to them all) and told my view of my feelings of what it was like to come out to a entire school when i did not know any one ......
ok well i have worked really hard on this story and I would like to know it its good or not and please do not lie and tell me what I lack or am good at. im sorry the chapters arnt long but i have to do that but still please read this story here it is :
Chapter One :I tell her
I,v known for a long time that I am a lesbian, I decided I should tell my best friend. My sister already knew and was OK with it. On a Friday after school I decided to tell her on instant messanger. When I told her all she said was "I,m a little mad you didn't tell me sooner but we got all that worked out. That monday I found out she told our friend bailey I was a lesbian without my permission. I didn't get mad because she was ok with it.
Carter walked over to her locker and smiled. She saw Laney Jacobs books fall out of her locker. She giggled to herself and moved quickly. As she bent down she took a quick peak into Laney’s locker. It was clean, organized and very, very clean. She smiled and grabbed a book. Just then Laney looked up and they locked. Carter felt her whole body swoon. Those eyes, she thought, those eyes are going to be the death of me. Carter smiled innocently and held the book up for Laney. Laney seemed caught until carter held the book out and then grabbed it and looked at her watch.
Carter woke in a start and took a look around. She was in an unfamiliar place. Suddenly she remembers what happened and felt her face as the pain started pouring into her brain. She sat up and found her shoes and quickly pulled them on. With a deep breath she stood and crept out the door.
The New Jesus. That’s what the news was calling him. Adam Jacobs posed on the front of the magazine. Holding a bible in his left hand and making an exaggerated movement with his other. The man’s dark hair and pale blue eyes showed a stern look in his eyes. His black tailored suit was crisp and wrinkle free. Laney sat on her bed and looked down at the cover not wanting to look at the article. Why wasn’t she as proud as everyone else? She got up and placed the article on her nightstand and sat back down on her bed. She hesitated in turning on the television knowing his face would be plastered on it. She picked up her cell phone and punched in Elise’s number and waited for the rings. When she didn’t answer, Laney left a message and then hung up. Her mother walked in and put away her clothes in the drawers without a word and then, as if for the first time seeing Laney.
"We gather here today to mourn the passing of Kalie Water. Who is also a loving friend, sister, daughter as well as a devoted civil union partner."
Teagan clenched her fists tightly. She was unable to unleash herself like those near her, who were drowning the church in a form of tense misery. It would be understandable and conventional for her to do the same but it is not her philosophy. She is not going to shed torturing tears.
“Give me the banana.
I am Alice Colgate, and I am seventeen years old, and I am sitting here at my desk trying to find the right word. The lot at night blows falling leaves alone/Stardust sparkling in brown— Rivulets? No, too watery.
What is it driving this stupid verse anyway? Whimsy? Genius? Boredom, more like it. I wonder what Anna’s doing right now. Is she going off with…?
Doesn’t matter now. Just gotta get through this poem for tomorrow.
The School Girls Guide To The Galaxy
My eyes sprang open, wide with shock.
“Um, I hate to be a pain in the backside.. but, uh, what you’re doing is kinda a pain in MY backside
Story idea credited to this one by Dark-Lord: It's basically the main theme, I just wanted to practise it in my own writing style. http://www.oasismag.com/node/view/17830
Forever and Ever
The clockticking echoed itself in the deafening silence. A young figure rested his bottom on the surface of the chair; but at the bottom of his heart he is restless. His feet shuffled consitently as if they have contracted fire. A white man entered the room, dissolving into the quietness.
Richard was frozen. You can imagine him shattering into unfixble bits if you managed to touch him. The white man approached the teen that was clutching to his inanimate friend's hand like a street child clinging onto a bitten loaf of bread. The atmosphere was choking. This made the doctor's words tense. "You should go home and get some rest yourself my boy...". The street child tensed his hands harder. The doctor understood and left the room again.
It was all an accident. The tree projected it's limbs into the windscreen and all Richard knew is that he is smothered in his friend's blood. His beloved friend has been asleep since. Only now that nothing can muffle the "I'll be with you here, forever and ever" that Richard keeps congesting in his mouth right until now, the midnight of the incident.
I tried looking Amelia up in the phone book, but as the thin pages flipped past I realized my endeavor was fruitless. I didnt know her last name, and if she had told me, it had completely slipped my mind.
I sat and watched that 70s show until I disgusted myself and had been stuffed with the unassuming food that fills the cabinets of home.
And then of course, I realize it is late, and tomorrow happens to be a Monday, and oh dear me, I will have to go to school.
Erm im writing this is it so far, Plzzz let me know whaqt ya think i want brutel Honesty
but here it is thi is a snippet of the etart.
By Kathleen Horton.
She looked from the cold stone walls, over to the dismal barred window. She lay herself down on the cold thin mattress, upon her bunk. She then pulled a photograph from underneath her pillow; it was a picture of two young women smiling. One was taller than the other, and had dyed black hair, with vibrant green eyes. The other was a perfect vision of beauty. She was slim, slightly shorter than the other, with shoulder length brown hair and soft blue eyes. She then turned the photo over. On the back of the photo was a hand written message.
Ahhh! I'm so freaked out about this date I have tomorrow.
To put it in context, I have been hooking up with a guy for the past three nights. Tonight we decided to give it a rest because we spend so much time with each other each time and we both had a lot of work to do.
It started less than two weeks ago, when I saw him - I will call him M - for the first time at the GSA. We were both maybe two minutes early and he wasn't sure if this was the right place or not, since he missed coming last term. We talked for a bit about nothing particularly deep. M is really attractive, and I kept looking at him. I got the feeling he might have been attracted to me too.
I sat there in the kitche talking to her on the phone. Drinkine apple cider reading the book. Talking to her ...but thinking of you. No one else but you. Why? I hat you. Every time i think about you i want to close my eyse and cut my wrist. Something to get you off my mind. But yet all i do is think about you. I talk to you everyday. Almost everyday should i say. So i sit there talking to her drinking apple cider reading the book thinking of you no one else but you. The show comes off. I turn it off. THen the song comes on. That emotion comes along. And that tear streams down down my face because it reminds me of that moment we had. Do you remember that moment? You and I...Beautiful. So i take a sip of my apple cider and she asks if im okay and acting strong because remember i have to be for you and my baby girl i say yes. I put the apple cider down and begin to read more of my book. She keeps talking. I make her so happy. I dont know how or why. You are the one who makes me happy. The song slowly fades out and i wipe away that tear that has run down my soft pale cheeck. IM so glad she is not here to see me like this. It will kill her. IM glad you nor here either. You would just wonder why. But then agin i need you to hold me in your arms. I put the book back down and look at my apple cider its slowly cooling down. I take the last sips of it. I look in the bottom of the glass. Thats all. She tells me her mom has to use the phone and she'll call me tommorow. She hangs up. I finish the book. Everything ended. The show, the song, the book, the phone convo. and even the cider. Then you call....I put another pot of water on for some more apple cider.....
Note: This is the revised version.
She sat at the piano, silently, immobile. Her long fingers, turned white by isolation and cold rested uncertainly on the dusty keys. She was young, but seemed as if she had felt pain beyond her tender years. Her clear eyes were thrown starkly into shadow by the single guttering candle as she stared down at her hands. Slowly, she began to play. Her song was a simple one, the notes flowing like a tear, slowly, but always there, always flowing. The song caressed the air with its gentle melancholy as the room grew darker. Her body curled in upon itself, her long black hair casting its shadow across her face, lined by pain more then time. As the song died away, the tears, which had started gently, flowed in a silent torrent down her face, falling softly on the keys of the shadowed piano.
Ok so I'm doig my job listening to music in the background.
Disturb's "Down With The Sickness" screaming at all to hears ears.
The day is almost over and I'm getting kinda loose about
doing my job relentlessly.
So I'm putting things away and dancing like a big stupid ass and
making these stupid throaty noises, like a total gaywad, and then
in walks the manager!
You'd understand how embaressing it was if you knew what he looks like.
THE DAY THE GREEK BOY LEFT AND IN CAME ANOTHER
“If you would just let me handle the lighting, everything would be fine!