but every time they play "home"
it crushes my heart
and burns my throat
and makes me want to punch a whole in the wall.
she always used to say i was her home.

Alabama Arkansas I do Love my Ma and Pa
Not the way that I do Love you

Holy Moly Me oh My you're the apple of my eye
Girl I've never loved one like you

Man o Man you're my best friend I scream it to the nothingness
there ain't nothing that I need

Hot and Heavy pumpkin pie
Chocolate candy Jesus Christ
Ain't nothing please me more than you

Home, Let me come Home
Home is Whenever I'm with you
Home, yes I am Home

So um. Ew. Breakups are the worst. Oh, I guess I'll expand on that, instead of leaving a random (true) statement floating around my head. I broke up with my 6-month boyf (codename: Paul) for lots of reasons.. But the point being I can't get over it and I don't know why. I'm over him, but not the relationship (friendship), if that makes sense? Plus I'm in the in between stage, where I still kind of like him but logic (of the fact that he was only ever nice to me) is going against the crush. Also, he's not taking it well, being really immature and stuff.

I said goodbye in a gaze thirty-seven degrees away from your eyes on my sockets;
In short words in short sentences:
“We’ll chill, it’ll be cool.”
(my hands dove in my pockets as if it were your cheekbones they were holding)
words full of curdled nectar, fermentation of old pumping blood.

You ironed on a smile that
Saw in my lips those vines you wound about my heart.

Well, that girl and I broke up. We still get along. It's weird not touching or kissing, but we'll get used to it. Yesterday she hung out with her ex and I couldn't take it and she said that maybe it wouldn't work and I agreed. But she wants to keep it open, and I tried to break it more cleanly.

I believe we shall still be best friends.

I smiled, the desperation slithering through my bicuspids like muck and nuclear waste, filling my face with that stomach-turning expression of need, "Come to prom with me," I tried to keep the pleading to a minimum, "it'll be fun, I swear. It won't even be a date, just the two of us, coming as friends?"

So, I broke up with my girlfriend. It was my fault, and my doing. This is what happened:

Please allow her to concentrate
Just for five minutes please
Allow her to clear her mind of negative thoughts
Block out all things that remind her of me
Please allow her to concentrate
Focus on school and work
I'm sick and tired of seeing her hurt
Allow her to smile her beautiful smile
Let her graduate
She's had a rough year
And I don't want to be the reason
Why she comes back next year