This is a chronicle of the time after my break up with my girlfriend of 3 years. I wrote this about a month and a half after it happened and I started to heal and think clearly about things and put them in perspective. If you are having a rough time with things, anything, not even a breakup, you should read this because life is not always so serious and I am doing great now.
We had a good talk. I hope I can learn to understand. I asked her for sure and she loves me. Things are unpredictable. She might not love me tomorrow but for now she loves me with everything she has, and that's more than I thought she would say. She never tells me really how much. Sometimes people are robots and they say I love you without meaning it. I'm so shitty that I can't comprehend how someone can love me. But she does. That's good enough for me I guess. I can't be selfish or sad anymore about it. I love her more than anything. She's the most important person to me.
I think I will be okay. I don't know what will happen. I may be over reacting, who knows. But I'd rather be prepared for the worst. I'm going to be here whenever she needs me. I hope that's ok. She loves me. She is worried she will never be happy on her own. Why can't she understand sometimes people need help before they can be their own person? We are changing. That's ok. I can change with it. I feel like I'm maturing. I don't feel selfish anymore. I've realized this the past couple days. I don't care how I feel about it. I don't care if I'm sad.
I found out last night from tumblr that my girlfriend is having doubts in our relationship from an anonymous question she asked a blog. I never go on there. I have only been on there the last couple days. She thinks I never use it. I usually don't. But I saw it.
So it's been awhile. I've still been reading almost every day and everything, but it's been a little too crazy to write anything.
Moved back to the States at the beginning of the year, and have settled into being in Cali again- North Central. I'm loving it here, despite the fact that I don't really know anyone...most of my friends stayed in Korea for a second year, or are spread out across the US. I love having a place of my own, and not living in a dorm for the first time in three years.
I got a dog yesterday...she's so cute. Terrier mix, full grown at about 30lbs.
My very best friend called me today in tears and rushed over to my house. her fiance had been cheating on her and had told her it was over. So I spent the better part of the last 4 hours comforting her and helping burn his love letters. On a completely different note, I just got a job at borders making coffee!