I'm 17, raised into a Christian family since birth. And lately I've been having just some thoughts about myself like. I feel myself attracted to girls, but I always actually like guys. But there's a nag at my brain screaming at me to get out. a gay friend once told me "you can never be sure until you have sex with someone of each gender." but that disturbs me because I believe in abstinence.
There are so many things on my mind right now. Some of them will probably stay on my mind for a while, so I will leave them out and come back to them later, when I don't have much else to say.
So, my parents know about my sexuality; I told them about a year ago. The problem is they're Christian and completely reject that part of me. We haven't really talked about it since I came out to them, but it's still hanging around the air. There's always those quiet, awkward moments after someone says something when everyone knows everything's thinking about me being gay. It hurts me to know that my family doesn't accept me, and they don't even try to learn what it's all about. All they know is the bible says it's wrong, end of story.
I have been asking myself lately, 'do I want to live in the life of God?' and all the time the answer is not clear because I find all the negative thoughts from Christians and all the negativity in the bible. I mean, I don't want to be hated by someone who may or may not really exist. I just think.. Don't you want to at least try to live in the life of god?