I dont know why but i feel like my heart has gotten ripped out and put back in with a little peice missing... Idk lately i feel like my own freinds are startin to shun me or something... Like i try to talk to them and make nice and everything tell them whats goin on and they just dont listen.. It hurts ..it realy does bad... Ive even started cuttin again it feels like its the only way..
i am still trying to comprehend the last 72 hours of my life....
as i wrote in an earlier journal entry... i came out to my crush (let's call her b) on friday night... she was suprised that i was gay but didn't really seem to care.... she's pretty hard to read and doesn't really let on her emotions but all in all i thought it went really well....
i know that there are quite a few cutters on this site.... and if you don't mind i need some help... big time... i really hope i don't offend anyone with this... here it goes....
I did something really fucking crazy yesterday...I cut "LOVE" on my right leg....OxO
Then, a few hours later, I cut "NO" above it, although I'm not sure why I did that. And on Thursday, I reopened my scar from over a year ago.
I tried drawing something short of a star on my knee, but it didn't really work out...O.o;;
Okay, so today sucked. Double Science...Yeeuck. AND it's not with Ms. S, either. :-( Double whoo-hoo. Not.
I lost my blade today...at school in a toilet...Damn. No cutting. That sucks...seeing how much I cut today...about maybe six or seven seperate times...I'm like addicted to it.... :-( There's these huge red cuts all over my stomach and around my...ehem, places...Uhm, yeah. Anyways.
Things have went from bad to worse, within the space of a few days....:(