Where does one begin? Do you do it straight forward or beat around the bush? I fear the day when I will have to tell my family that I am in fact bisexual. You want to hear something funny? My parrents are ok if I'm hetrosexual or homosexual but not if I am bisexual. They say bisexuals are simply indecisive. What do I do?
I couldn't think of a satisfactory title to suit the real purpose of this entry, so I'm throwing in this thing about a pocket Bible as well, because that made a nice title. I found a pocket Bible the other day, with a green plastic cover and bearing the information 'THE GIDEONS INTERNATIONAL' and 'THIS BOOK NOT TO BE SOLD,' on a Dumpster. So I took it. Nobody leaves things on a Dumpster if he wants to keep them anymore. Although, usually if he doesn't want them, he puts them in the Dumpster. Maybe it just seemed wrong to put a Bible in a Dumpster, I don't know.
so today wasn't too bad.
So today was totally one of those days, a day where the whole world decideds to drop on you at once, which isn't all bad cause it can be very "freeing" dealing with everything at once, you know? Anyways we're going to do a lot of back tracking in this journal, bare with me please because this is to help me through all of this and maybe even help someone else out some day.
Happiness is always around the corner. Sadly, I always trip and become bruised and battered before I make it around the bend. The wall gets longer and longer as I try to maintain a steady pace, stumbling through the dark, fingers outstretched hoping to feel the end of my long tortured journey. Just when I feel as if I'm making progress, a memory abruptly startles me and I fall to my knees, screaming out at the cold, dark night. The unmistakable tears that cloud my vision leave cool streaks down my face as a gentle wind brushes by me.
So here is a quick question Oasis, since coming out is a big issue on this lovely site I was wondering if it mattered whether or not you had stuck a specific label on yourself before telling people your secrets. Like for me, I am pretty sure I'm not going to start liking guys anymore than I do right now, which isn't very much, but I am afraid if I come out as a lesbian no one would understand if I ended up liking a guy in the future.
Having gotten a PM from one of the members here, I started a small spiel on what was up... then hit the back button accidentally. Yay!
So I'll just write up a journal entry instead, lol.
Things to talk about are usually the things that are on the verge of change; nudges and curiousities, yanno?
I guess mine, at the moment, are...
so recently the univ or richmond ran this letter in their student paper:
i think it captures some feelings of those who are still in the closet.
Okay, it's not a ballad. I just liked the title. I don't usually do this here, but my family reads my blog at times, and I'm trying to fool them into thinking I'm getting over Jon. If you're feeling prone to depression right now, I'd skip this post. It's pretty bleak throughout. I needed a place to put it all though, so here it is.
I am uncomfortable with how much Tig turns me on. He has his moments, and in those I am very attracted to him. It makes me fear losing control. I know he would enjoy dominating me, too, but he enjoys being submissive more, as far as he's said. I really want to be in a mental space to top him. But he's so very attractive to me...
Something random about myself...
One of my biggest fears in murky water. The lack of not being able to see around you, and the general unknown of deep-water life.
I noticed this, probably, when I was smaller and playing Zelda 64 .
The water temple creeped me out.
My biggest fear is death.
I talked to my best friend today. I told him that I felt like my parents were gonna find out pretty soon. And he said that if I ever needed a place to lay my head his house was always available. I can have the whole third floor, he said.