I feel so unbearably frustrated at the moment. Everyone keeps pissing me off and spring break honestly can't get here fast enough. I need a break, I feel like I'm working my ass off in every class with no end. :/
OK, gonna try to make this make sense, without making it insanely long. So...well I've been up in the mountains for the first half of the weekend with K, at her family's timeshare house in Keystone. So that was freakin' awesome.
Then I get home today and kinda settle in for a bit.
Then my mom's like "Hey Emily can I talk to you?" So we go up to my room and she sits on my bed and I kinda stand and look at her like "OK what?" and she goes "You can sit down" and I'm thinking like "Holy shit what terrible news are you about to share??"
Hi. My name isn't Gabby but I am 21. However, my parents insist on treating me like a sixteen year-old (and I suppose I let them). I am not rebellious. I love my parents. I appreciate everything they have done for me (and that's a lot). It's difficult for me to break away. It's kind of like our family is a living organism and each person in the family is a vital organ or vessel. All the organs and vessels are connected and twisted around each other. If one separates from the rest...the organism dies (and I imagine a horrible tortuous death). I don't want to cause this.
I feel like a prude most of the time.
But I also sometimes feel whore-ish.
I am a VIRGIN!!!!! And most of my friends are not. But, I have done everything except for have sex with a guy. I've done everything with a girl also. So, therefore, I feel prudeish and whoreish all at the same time. I freaking hate it.
Do they seriously need to drill his stuff into my head even more? I mean... This is the second time I've learned about exponential equations. Oh and the linear equations - it's the third time.
Then Jesus Christ! Freshmen Social Studies was a JOKE! The AID's epidemic? I learned NOTHING! Those map quizes? I aced all of them. Hell I got a 100 on the exam!
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck.
Her mom got the phone bill, found out about our midnight calls, and now I can't talk to her until tomorrow, unless she happens to be online. Grr.
I am tired of hiding things I'm not ashamed of. I love her, I want her and I miss her and there is nothing wrong with that.
Be warned: This entry will be filled with me venting my frustrations at the world and other things, as well as other angst.
This is going to be short, but
Why must I always crush on the straight girls? The way of life I guess. It's just so incredibly frustrating, being at an all girls' Catholic highschool.
Sorry for being egotistical. Bye.
i just can't win. i start to think i'm over her, that i can move on. live my life. i get a message for her and a grin like never before graces my lips.