Dad is coming to visit tomorrow and I find myself really excited and kinda nervous at the same time.
So far, he's probably my strongest ally in getting mom to come around with pronoun use and general trans* respect, but I know we've got some problems too.
For one, he supports me completely and utterly... but he's kind of a push over. When things with mom get heated he chooses the path of least resistance. There's pacifism, and then there's unhealthy relationship. He just hides in his work, or just doesn't bring it up at all, even if I really need his help.
So the other day I read some theory by fucking Deleuze that breezed right past Foucault and made all kinds of sense. My worldview was fucked up. No more panopticon? Shit's getting real, you guys.
Protip: Planning a provincial conference basically on your own is really stressful when you don't know yet how much funding you're getting and the guy who was supposed to get back to you about space over a week ago... hasn't. *twitches like a twitching thing*. Finding pannelists has also turned into a bit of a video game and makes me feel like a horrible person.
This was going to be a post about how Gabe Saporta and his stupud face and stupid band make me really happy and I don't know how I feel about that, followed by some commentary on forced religion in weddings and how far one should comprimise, but instead it turned into a post about making use of your mobile phone and how awesome my mother is. Idk.
One incident too many, apparently. My cousin-once-removed, whom no one in my immediate family had seen in ten years, mistook me for a boy at Thanksgiving, to be corrected by my father. Today, word of the incident got to my mother. It resulted....in a shopping trip. Curses.
I'm really not sure what I'm experiencing right now. This journal is a good place to document my feelings, though.
I'm going out tonight with my girlfriend and my rugby team to celebrate our fall season. It was my first time playing rugby, and I loved it.
The attire is dressy. I will likely be the only one on the team not in a dress. Although I identify somewhere on the FtM spectrum, I play for a women's team because of biology (and also because I hear the guys' team is full of bros- and one of them called Lady Gaga a tra**y, which just gives me a bad feeling about playing for them). My team isn't entirely aware of my gender identity, and I'm considering coming out to them more formally soon.
My mom just told me she wouldn't be okay with me being transgender. This bothers me. I mean, I don't think I am transgender, not completely, not even mostly, but I am closer to being so than most people are.
I don't even know what I'm doing here; I just discovered this site today, but it looks like a lot of kids not all that different from me write a lot of stuff here that may be crap or may actually be kind of meaningful, so I'm willing to give it (whatever 'it' is) a shot without worrying too much about clogging up the Internet with my irrelevant musings.
Gender. Gender. Gender.
What comes to mind when I say such a thing. Male and Female right? That would be the general consensus, since that is the only two genders we generally ever relate to at all. But how many people do you actually know that are full blown female in everything that they do. They are feminine maybe with a few actions or their voice, or their body. But guaranteed, that female could have an obsession with bugs, which is generally male centric, or maybe they have a nasty habit like burping whenever they feel like.
I just read this article about how sexual arousal is different for men and women...I won't try to summarize it, here's the link.
Actually, my mom sent it to me...guess she's been doing some research since I came out to her, haha.
The findings here are similar to this article I read in the NY Times Magazine a while ago...http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=sexual%20arousal%20scientific%20study&st=cse
What do you all think about this?
So, perhaps everybody else here has already figured this out, but I had a revelation last night: When it comes to sexuality, there are two "categories": gender identification (what gender you feel like) and gender attraction (what gender you are attracted to). Like this:
Okay, so I'm here in mexico staying with some family friends, and their relatives (oh, yeah, and my family), and there is this little kid here who is absolutely convinced that I am a boy. I am, by the way for anyone who cares, (believe it or not) biologically female.
If ever I form a glam rock punk band, it will be called Manchild and the Dysphorias.
I recently read about the whole "men's movement'' and how men need to connect with their inner, primal Iron John lumberjackmanliness in order to live balanced lives. I guess it makes sense that repression of anything would make for an unbalanced life. Still, should women connect with their inner, primal shoe hording chocolate glutton? Maybe we should eat chocolate and be lumberjacks. ("I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I work all day...")
Having gotten a PM from one of the members here, I started a small spiel on what was up... then hit the back button accidentally. Yay!
So I'll just write up a journal entry instead, lol.
Things to talk about are usually the things that are on the verge of change; nudges and curiousities, yanno?
I guess mine, at the moment, are...
We all know that there is a stereotype about GLBQT people that they act like the opposite gender. I know that this is true for me but I don't know if it is true for anyone else or if homosexuality has anything to do with gender identity. So is this a myth or is it true?
I have not cut my hair since I was ten. Except for one trimming in eighth grade. That's seven years of unrestricted hair growth, seven years of long wavy brown splitting at the ends from so much combing.
I just realized the gender field on the user profiles only gave you the option of being male or female.
That's completely unforgivable for a site that is meant for people struggling with gender issues.
I've added mtf transexual, ftm transexual as well as none of the above, as options.