i used to have a huge crush on some guy at school and i confronted him over last summer. i knew he was gay so there shouldn't be any awkwardness but he began to avoid me and i got the hint. he obviously had no interest in me. at first it was really hard accepting the fact we could not be together.

Nrgh. I just .. Spontaneously started like, BAWLING. I hardly cry.. I mean the only real time I've cried in the past two years... I can't remember. Today, a song came on the radio and I just broke down... I think I'm going to break soon. There's only so much friends can do to help... What I hate the most about this is why.

Prologue: Togetherness

"Sara Joanne Morris and Jacob Nash Mackensie you have been found guilty of the crime of unlawful sexual conduct with the opposite gender. Your sentence for this crime is death by fire. Do you have any last words before the burning comenses?"

"One." Sara spoke calmly from the stake she was tied to. A furnace churning and pouting below her feet.

I have been having an ongoing conversation with a classmate, who is trying to convince me of the logicality of Islam (Which is pronounced Iss-lamb, apparently). She assures me that the religion makes more sense than Christianity (The religion that has burned me so), and that I would be welcomed to the religion. She has offered to bring Muslim Apologetics for me to read, and I think I will.

I feel a little silly for asking these questions, but this is a blog thingy so, I suppose this is an appropriate place to post these burning questions I have for myself. Well, the questions are "who am I really?" and "why am I unable to understand myself?" These are questions that I've placed in the back of my mind and haven't attempted to answer.

i was on youtube and came upon these videos, im posting them up to show us ppl in oasis that we need to get out there and fight this war, show our true colors and stand for what we believe in.........

I have been asking myself lately, 'do I want to live in the life of God?' and all the time the answer is not clear because I find all the negative thoughts from Christians and all the negativity in the bible. I mean, I don't want to be hated by someone who may or may not really exist. I just think.. Don't you want to at least try to live in the life of god?

People never comment on my poetry and that makes me sad :(

Many a night I fall awake
Under the weight of this world.
Not until that world would quake
Had this scroll of dreams unfurled.
What is this poison, them or me?
What have I done for this pain?
So different, am I, for that I see
Will never grasp the rain.

Fear not, my love, so pure, my dear,
He cannot see, he cannot feel.

As I sit here in the bleak, darkness of my room I can hear them. They are the Invaders. They speak in loud tones, of other things, yet I know inside they are cursing my existence, because I'm gay. I feel so alone. I've met others like me, with habitual similarities and compulsive differences. I feel eventually torn from them, when I say my father is a pastor.