Well something happened.
It was the sadest thing but me and Jake were lying next eachother, and then we realized we couldnt be together, we were too different, some of the things he does were just so wrong, and I couldnt understand it and it was just so hard. So as we lay in his bed in eachothers arms, i whispered to him "Jake, you know I love you." and then he said i love you back and it was just so beautifull, even though we were crying in eachothers arms.
Then as he drove me home, and we both realized that we werent going to see eachother agian it was the sadest thing.
It's been over a year since my last post! Things change a lot. It is really unbelievable. I need a place to express feelings inside of me where no one can see them. I miss this place. I used to write all the time cause I felt crazy and it helped.
I've been asked to share my experiences, and a way to cope with these things.
Just to recap, I was raped a year ago. The man who did this was my boyfriend. This is a long story, and parts of it are blurred by my memory.
How we met? I honestly don't remember. I don't know why, but it's not there. I do know this: he was the kindest man I'd ever known, and I thought he was perfect.
Seriously, what makes you happy?
Is it the company of another?
A good book?
A calm and relaxing evening alone?
Chels with www.freedomuniversal.webs.com/ =)
Happiness is always around the corner. Sadly, I always trip and become bruised and battered before I make it around the bend. The wall gets longer and longer as I try to maintain a steady pace, stumbling through the dark, fingers outstretched hoping to feel the end of my long tortured journey. Just when I feel as if I'm making progress, a memory abruptly startles me and I fall to my knees, screaming out at the cold, dark night. The unmistakable tears that cloud my vision leave cool streaks down my face as a gentle wind brushes by me.
Alright friends, how have you all been? Today has been an interesting day for me, you know one of those days where you get not one, not two, but three job offers in one day. Really has given me a new perspective and reasons to be thankful for what I have.
In the light of being thankful, to those of you who have yet to come out to your friends and family I wish you luck, but would also like to remind you that by being thankful for the opportunities you have will surely only promote more positive outcomes….Been true for me, so think about it at least.
I feel happy.
Maybe it's because I just ate a large spoonful of chocolate...
Or that iced coffee....
I drew a pretty picture of an alien with a sharpie and a silver rubber stamp pad. Now I look like the tin man... Oh well.
I went to this bead expo thing yesterday. It may sound girly, but making earrings is really fun. They're good gifts.
Pandora is awesome. I'm addicted.
In other news...
I absolutely LOVE my viola. It's so old and pretty-sounding... And made in Germany. It's all scratched up, though...
Anyone else play? We're a bit of a minority.
Okay, it's not a ballad. I just liked the title. I don't usually do this here, but my family reads my blog at times, and I'm trying to fool them into thinking I'm getting over Jon. If you're feeling prone to depression right now, I'd skip this post. It's pretty bleak throughout. I needed a place to put it all though, so here it is.
I am officially completely 100% out to everyone at my job!
Salvation, my comrade
Is but form in the function of a word,
Which may be,
Or may not be,
Vague and unperceivable.
Raving, it’s explicable.
If you have reason to be unhappy,
If you have no reason to be unhappy,
How we perceive happiness
Greatly affects our own,
Whether medicated or otherwise.
And yet it’s obligatory.
She doesn't need to be beautiful. I know that I would love her more than the stars, or god, or my family, or my dog even if she were scarred, or awkward, or overweight. But she is gorgeous.
So this permanet happy phase is still going strong...Tomorrow will be two weeks...And it feels like...2 months. Shelby and I have so much fun together that everything seems like it would be more entertaining to have her there...She spent the night of Friday...This time she kept me up until 3 am, unlike last time when I kept her up.
Okay, so Ms. S. wasn't supervising my dance after all. DDDDX *Cusses* On the other hand, I sent her an email wishing her a merry Christmas and Happy New Year. :-) I hope (above all) that she reads it, then, if I'm lucky, she'll reply. XD But, I don't think I'm THAT lucky. Heh.