You got to love Youtube. I was bored the other night so i started watching the Real L Word on there. It's interesting to watch these 30 yr old lesbians. The one thing that catches my attention though is all the labels they give each other. It's like your not just a lesbian there's a subcategory you can be placed in. I've heard of fem, lipstick, butch, dyke, bulldyke. Then there's tops and bottoms. It just all makes you think, where do I fall in?
So I just got back from my audition for the school play, and I think it went really well. Considering that I've only ever been in a play once before and all. The monologue I used was all about a person lamenting that her life wasn't more like a musical, and I could really relate to that pretty well - even though I can't sing worth a (something worth singing worth?), if I could change one impossible thing about the world, it would be for real life to be like the musicals. Yup, that wins out over world peace.
I had always figured coming out to my parents would be an emotional and tear-filled time, that I would plan for it for days or weeks beforehand, that it wouldn't happen until I had a relatively solid label for my queeritude, or else that one of them would just ask bluntly and outright, giving me no time to prepare, and the emotional and tear-filled scene would follow. I had also figured that something would be fundamentally a little bit different afterward - maybe just a load off my chest, maybe some sort of change in the family atmosphere. But this... Not what I expected at all.
So, perhaps everybody else here has already figured this out, but I had a revelation last night: When it comes to sexuality, there are two "categories": gender identification (what gender you feel like) and gender attraction (what gender you are attracted to). Like this:
I went prom dress shopping to a popular mall today.Me and my couzin sister[around 22] felt really hungry,so we rushed to the food court.
I stood there,in the line for my turn at Mc Donalds,and suddenly,the hetrosexuality of this society emerged.
Everybody seems so unaware of this typical way of living. so unconscious by the fact that there MIGHT be lesbians or gays around.
No, this isn't another "do you label yourself?" thread, because there are enough of those. (But feel free to start another, I need help with my labeling issue.... but anyways.....) No, this is because I was talking with a friend today, and we disagreed about some GLBT terminology.
Well, i finally decided on what I am. For the longest I've been trying to figure out who I am. It's like I switched labels like underwear. First I was so sure I was straight, then I thought I was bi, then full out lesbo, then a complete 180 and was straight again. So, I finally figured it out, I can not be labeled. I just like who I like and am attracted to whoever I'm attracted to.
In the latest Life Lessons essay on labels, I talked about my thoughts on labels. It's such a big topic on Oasis, and always has been. What do you think? Why do we want so badly to fit into these boxes?
Tell me what you think.
By Jeff Walsh
"Once you label me, you negate me" -- Soren Kierkegaard
As many people on the site know, I'm not a big fan of labels. I feel they provide solace and false comfort, but in a way that offers no long-term gain. When I came out, way back when, you had two options: you were gay/lesbian, or you were bisexual. And, as I said in the first Life Lesson, The Moment You Knew, I was bisexual for a day or so before accepting I was gay.
But I think the larger problem with labels is not in what they actually mean. I don't think anyone gay rejects the classification that they are attracted to people of the same sex. If that's all it meant, it would be hard to argue with it. But all of the additional societal baggage we've attached to the label is where the problem kicks in.
Once you get past the dating angle, being gay is seem by many to mean you are: effeminate, promiscuous, weak, like to do drugs, enjoy dance music, wear tight clothing (when you're not in drag), and everything else you can think of. Which I know is untrue, because I'm not weak.
But seriously, what is the attraction of labels?
Well. I'd better introduce myself since I've kinda been an invisible member of oasis.
Meaning I'd visit every day. Read posts and journals and just not log in or comment or anything else.
Quite embarrassing really =]
Well. For almost a year I've considered myself to be bi.
Not fad bi.
Not fashionably bi.
Not 'in between' bi.
But actually quite assured and happy with my Bisexuality.