i wish with all my heart i could just say "i'm a lesbian, deal with it!" but i cant.. and its killing me for not being happy with who i am
I need help. I'm not sure if i'm a lesbian or not. I never have been attracted to boys and I have noticed other girls more that once but I'm not sure why I notice them or if this makes me a lesbian. I have talked to my parents about this already and they said they are fine with me either way. I'm also only 13 so I'm not sure if I'm a lesbian of if my horomones just haven't hit me yet.
I just watched Gray Matters. And it's actually pretty enjoyable.
Anybody seen it ?
Music video by Melange Lavonne titled "Gay Bash"
I've never been a fan of hiphop or rap, but I've taken an extreme liking to this song.
Plus, Lavonne's actually pretty attractive. Haha.
Just wanted to get this out there, I figured if anyone would appreciate it, it'd be you guys/gals.
Literally years since I've written properly here. Bizarre. Not bizarre - predictable. I went rogue for a while and printed a paper zine instead. I think I needed to see concrete paper evidence that I could produce something for an audience. For a while, I couldn't do both.
I hear a lot of people talking about bi being a phase before you are used to being completely gay.
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not bi after all, but just completely gay.
But I am not so sure.
There is nothing but McLachlan’s Adia in my head right now. I am trying not to think about her - that girl I've gotten to know so ridiculously well. The truth is—funny how I invariably tell the truth to myself in writing, if nowhere else—that I saw a video on YouTube tonight, randomly, with two girls standing in a bluish dim room, looking at each other.
Lately i've been thinking abotu coming out to my mom. Well i really shouldnt say lately, i've been wanting to for a year or two now. I've picked dates and then once teh day and time came i just chickened out and didn't tell her. I'm tired of keeping this a secret. I'm pretty sure she already knows i'm a lesbian but i just feel like i'm lying to her.
I suppose alot of you never knew me, and the ones who do, probably aren't here, or don't remember me.
But I needed to come back, to a familiar place, a place that cared. To blog, since the place I had been blogging on, is not safe for such times. Not safe for people to read. For people I've hurt, for people who have hurt me.
Have any of you seen the movie But I'm A Cheerleader?
It's about a cheerleader, with a boyfriend, whose parents decide she's gay. They send her to a "correction facility" and she falls in love with a girl while she's there.
I absolutely love this movie, and I'm currently listening to the soundtrack so I had to promote it. Yay!
Yes, the title is true. I am jealous of them. How I wish I could be a lesbian, but I'm bisexual. There's not anything wrong with being bi, but I'd prefer to just spend my time loving girls instead of loving boys. The male body isn't attractive. Their "love making parts" disgust me (no offense boys). Sure, they (as in boys, not their parts) can be cute, but that's as far as it goes.
Just wrote this, comments much appreciated.
It's no secret--growing up I was never the apple of any guy's eye;
Too tall and awkward and not enough make-up.
Strangely enough I found your lack of interest reassuring.
And now we're both older, and I'm still tall and still don't wear make-up
But the awkwardness has subsided, and boy, I can turn your world upside down
Because you and her go out dancing, and I'm hanging at the bar.
I'm just going to merge my previous Journal entry from today with this one since I wrote it recently anyways. If I don't do this I'll feel like I'm spamming... XD
So, I went to Soras (Sora = girlfriend) place today. It was... Weird...
So, we're talking, somehow we got on the subject of "gay" and Soras older sister, (we'll call her Axel..) is like "Are you gay?" Totally serious out of nowhere, towards Sora. And this is the second time she's asked her this since I came out. And Sora was like "No." and then Axel says "Oh, because you're always going to Riku's place."
So recently my little sister (17) came out to me. Meaning i'm no longer the only gay eskimo... in my tribe.