Life Lessons

openaboutit's picture

My posts in the last 30 min

Just finished my 1st day of work! Im bored now. Wanna hang out and watch movies with me all night??

“You've changed so much. I guess that's what happens. I wish you knew how much you changed me. I wonder if I changed you, if your life isdifferent because of me. Because mine's different. My God, you taught me so much, and now we don't even talk to each other. I guess that's what happens.” -author unknown

PhoenixofVirtue's picture

A Call to Friendship

I had a dream that I was friends with Mitch and Lass once again. We were sitting around Mitch's computer making jokes. Could it be an omen?

jeff's picture


In the latest Life Lessons essay on labels, I talked about my thoughts on labels. It's such a big topic on Oasis, and always has been. What do you think? Why do we want so badly to fit into these boxes?

Tell me what you think.

Life Lessons: Labels

By Jeff Walsh

"Once you label me, you negate me" -- Soren Kierkegaard

As many people on the site know, I'm not a big fan of labels. I feel they provide solace and false comfort, but in a way that offers no long-term gain. When I came out, way back when, you had two options: you were gay/lesbian, or you were bisexual. And, as I said in the first Life Lesson, The Moment You Knew, I was bisexual for a day or so before accepting I was gay.

But I think the larger problem with labels is not in what they actually mean. I don't think anyone gay rejects the classification that they are attracted to people of the same sex. If that's all it meant, it would be hard to argue with it. But all of the additional societal baggage we've attached to the label is where the problem kicks in.

Once you get past the dating angle, being gay is seem by many to mean you are: effeminate, promiscuous, weak, like to do drugs, enjoy dance music, wear tight clothing (when you're not in drag), and everything else you can think of. Which I know is untrue, because I'm not weak.

But seriously, what is the attraction of labels?

New feature on Oasis: Life Lessons

OK, time for a new feature on Oasis...

We all have alot of great stories on here, but they are hard to find, scattered everywhere, told in snippets, etc.

With Life Lessons, my goal is to explore the big topics that are shared across the membership of the site. The format will be that I'll mine content from my own life, write it up in some polished form, and link it off to a forum of the same name.

jeff's picture

Jeff's AOL Bill for August 1994

Time On        Type       Free  Paid  Charge  Credit   Total 

94-08-12 08:37  Session      0     2    0.12    0.00    0.12 
94-08-12 02:11  Session      0     3    0.18    0.00    0.18 
94-08-12 01:21  Session      0    10    0.58    0.00    0.58 
94-08-11 23:54  Session      0     2    0.12    0.00    0.12 
jeff's picture

The Moment You Knew...

This forum is connected with the first topic in a series called "Life Lessons," on Oasis. This forum is in reference to The Moment You Knew. So, read it, and come back and share your stories.

Life Lessons: The Moment You Knew

By Jeff Walsh

It happens in an instant. That moment of recognition. Before it, you may have been confused, questioning, and unsure about who you are... but afterward, you may have still had questions... but you knew what the deal was.

There's just that "Moment You Knew," where life changes.

For some people, it was less dramatic. They always knew, it just eventually got a name. For others, it is a longer journey.

But however you get there, it is still something that changes you life forever. There will always be life before that moment, and life after it. It is "The Moment You Knew..."

My story: My entire coming out happened online. My gay community was online. When my modem was occupying the phone line, I was connected. When I logged off, I was alone. What is often taken for granted today is still something I remember not existing.

When I first America Online, it was not to explore my sexuality. It was for "research." At the time I was writing a screenplay and there was a gay teen character in it. Since, I wasn't gay, I figured using some of the trial memberships online would let me talk to gay teens to help develop the character. I was in my early 20s at this time.

I got into some of the gay teen chat rooms, identified myself as a straight screenwriter, and said I needed their help to tell my story. One of the guys I chatted with ended up being my first online boyfriend.

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